LOTTIE “I can’t do this.” I whispered to myself in the kitchen, with a mouthful of pie. I kept eating, and eating, and freaking eating, but my hunger didn’t seem to improve. I needed to sniff something. I had a stack of it in my bag, but I was staying away because… he asked me to. I’d also not touched myself because he said so. Every time I entered the bathroom, I immediately thought about his hands all over my skin. His lips on mine, how good it’s felt for him to want me like he did again. I would want to give in to my desires, but then I’d remember how serious he’d looked, and I’d drop my hand. For her. I was doing everything he asked, only for her. How long could I last? Tears stung the backs of my eyes. I was so exhausted. Heaven knew how exhausted I was, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to actually sleep. For three nights, I’d tossed and turned in bed, restless and irritated. Every time I managed to close my eyes, I would end up jolting awake, sweating with my heart
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