All Chapters of Who Was Behind My Miscarriages?: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

Willa returned from abroad two years ago.It was two weeks before my first pregnancy.She and Ian had grown up together, and their parents had once been close.When they were children, everyone assumed they would marry someday.Then Willa went abroad, and Ian met me at university.We dated for seven years and had been married for four.Before she came back, I never thought her name could threaten my marriage.Ian picked her up from the airport himself the day she returned.He didn’t get home until eleven that night.A small patch on the shoulder of his shirt was damp, as though someone had cried against it.When I asked about it, he said Willa had just divorced and was upset.A few days later, Willa came to our home for the first time.I had just learned I was pregnant but hadn’t told Ian yet.She stood in the living room and stared for a long time at the plans for our empty nursery."Are you planning to have a baby?""We have been for a while," I said with a smile.Her face went pale.

"Okay," I said quietly.After the call, I removed all the yellow tablets and replaced them with vitamins of the same size.I sealed the yellow tablets in a bag and hid it inside the lining of an old suitcase.Ian still wasn’t home at one in the morning.I opened the building management app and checked the camera outside our door.From 2:40 to 2:52 a.m., the screen went black.A system message read: [Routine maintenance.]But building management always scheduled maintenance at the end of the month.I checked earlier footage.On the night the second silver charm appeared, the camera also went black for twelve minutes at the same time.The footage from the first time had already been overwritten.I saved screenshots, then called the building management office.After a long search, the person on duty told me, "The maintenance request was submitted at short notice.""By whom?""Mr. Shaw’s assistant, Hugh Chandler."I held the phone without speaking.Why would Ian’s assistant ask building ma

Ian knew.Yet at the hospital, he held my hand and told me again and again, "Don’t blame yourself. It was an accident."I blamed myself for that fall for an entire year.I dreamed of it countless times. If I hadn’t gone into the bathroom that day, if I’d been more careful, would my baby have lived?The man who should have blamed himself slept beside me night after night and watched me carry all the guilt.I saved the recording to three different cloud storage accounts.Ian came home late that night.He smelled of hospital disinfectant."Did something happen to Willa again?" I asked.He loosened his tie and nodded."She’s refusing to take her medication.""Why?""Her doctor said something upset her.""What upset her?"He looked at me, wary now."What are you trying to ask?"I rested a hand on my lower belly."Can’t she accept that I’m pregnant?"Ian’s jaw tightened."She’s ill.""Does that give her the right to demand that someone else lose their baby?""Nina!"His voice rose sharply.I

The day before I left, I visited my parents.Mom saw my pale face and asked if Ian and I had argued again.I shook my head.She served me a bowl of soup and sighed. "Ian’s a good man. He suffered when you lost the first two babies. He lost so much weight and spent every day at the hospital with you."I looked down at the oil floating on the soup.Yes.He played the part so well.After we lost the first baby, he held me and cried. He said we would have another child someday.When I woke after the second miscarriage, he was slumped beside my bed, his eyes red as though he hadn’t slept all night.The sight of his tears made me comfort him.Perhaps he really was sad.But his grief never mattered to him as much as one of Willa’s breakdowns.He could hate seeing me hurt and still be the one who caused it.He was sure that if he held me afterward and treated me a little better, I would never leave.Mom kept talking.I suddenly reached out and hugged her."Mom, I want to stay here for a while.

Ian came home at ten that morning.He hadn’t slept all night. He stayed at the hospital while Willa had her stomach pumped and returned only after her condition stabilized.He expected to find me waiting on the sofa for his explanation, as I always had before, with oatmeal ready for him.But when he opened the door, the house was dark and silent.The housekeeper was gone.Half the walk-in closet was empty.All my skincare products had disappeared from the bathroom.He stood in the bedroom doorway and stared at my ring on the bedside table for a long time.Only when his phone slipped from his hand did he seem to wake. He rushed into the living room.The three silver lock charms lay side by side on the dining table.The first, the second, and the third.Their silver surfaces reflected his pale face.I had signed my name at the bottom of the divorce agreement.He called me.The first time, my phone was off.The second time, it was still off.He tried another number and discovered that I h