Are The Coneheads From Saturday Night Live?

TWIN TORMENTORS BOOK 2 is out: *BEAUTIFULLY RUINED* It was outlawed to excuse oneself in the presence of either of the twins, let alone when they were two. But the clattering of the spoons against the plates made my head spin in circles. I wanted out of this place and I didn't care whether I would rub the obsessed psychopaths the wrong way, because they’ve been breathing down my neck since they brought me here. I can’t eat, shower, sleep, even sit alone without them going alpha on me. My twins: My tormentors!

In the elite world of a high-class school, Jane, once a nobody, lands a dream job offer from the school's owner. The catch? She must secretly babysit four infamous "Jerks" on campus. With a high salary and flexible hours, it seems too good to be true.

To celebrate Halloween, our company booked an immersive “rural horror” escape room. My boss said whoever could make it to the end without screaming would get a ten-thousand-dollar reward. As a seasoned horror movie fan, I was instantly tempted. The core character in the escape room was a scarecrow wearing an oversized pumpkin head. I admired how well the props were made, but the chainsaw noise was too loud, so I slipped into a hidden compartment, put on my headphones, and scrolled through reels. The next day, I woke up to a strong metallic stench mixed with the sickly-sweet smell of rotting pumpkin. The police told me our boss had canceled the booking at the last minute, and the actor originally assigned to play the character had gotten food poisoning. That pumpkin-headed figure wasn’t one of their staff.

Three days before the SAT, someone was handing out energy drinks outside the school, claiming it sharpened one's mind and guaranteed high scores on exams. Sasha Jepsen climbed onto a chair and called out to the whole class, "Hurry downstairs and get one! They'll be gone if you wait. Drink it and your brain will work faster than anyone else's!" In my previous life, I insisted on stopping them. "This product isn't even regulated, and there's no manufacturer listed. Don't drink it! What if something is wrong with it?" I said. No one appreciated what I was trying to do. They accused me of being jealous and said I was secretly trying to take the top spot for myself. I couldn't talk them out of it, so I went to my homeroom teacher. She confiscated the entire batch and told everyone not to fall for these shady shortcuts. When the scores came out, Sasha didn't even meet the minimum score for college admission. She posted a long rant on Facebook, crying that I "stole" her energy drink and left her unable to think clearly during the SAT. The whole class turned on me. "If Willow Lawson hadn't meddled, we would've gotten into college after drinking that stuff!" All their hatred came crashing down on me, and I endured two months of their bullying before finally jumping from the 18th floor. When I opened my eyes again, I was back at the exact moment Sasha was standing on a chair, calling out to everyone. I sat in the corner without even looking up. Let's see what kind of incredible scores they get after drinking this stuff.

My name is Lennie Sherman, and I am a python handler. However, I gradually realize that the python doesn't quite like me. Every time we meet, it will always use its tail to hit my private part and then hiss in my face.

Have you ever woken one morning with a burning, insatiable desire to go out and kill someone? Sarah Killian, a notoriously foul-mouthed and mean-spirited serial killer for hire, along with her cohort assassin Mary Sue Keller, are back on assignment for the Trusted Hierarchy of Everyday Murderers (T.H.E.M.). After receiving an ominous warning from a mark-gone-wrong, it becomes clear that Nick Jin—Sarah’s former nemesis—is still at large and singling her out. Sarah and Mary Sue are dispatched to Tennessee to discreetly kill off an accused family of KKK organizers, but their true mission is to lure Nick Jin into a trap. But will Nick—always several steps ahead of T.H.E.M.—see their bait for what it is? One thing is guaranteed: blood will be shed. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing