Funny Quotes

Our Young Funny Voices
Our Young Funny Voices
*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”
10
42 Chapters
Secret santa: my funny violin
Secret santa: my funny violin
Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?
Not enough ratings
6 Chapters
Married at First Sight
Married at First Sight
Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!
9.3
4624 Chapters
My Ex-Wife and Kids Came In Like A Wrecking Ball
My Ex-Wife and Kids Came In Like A Wrecking Ball
Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."
8.2
2080 Chapters
Triplets on Secret Mission
Triplets on Secret Mission
Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”
8.6
1882 Chapters
Alpha Jax
Alpha Jax
SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.
9.9
50 Chapters

Are There Any Funny Quotes About Lyrics?

3 Answers2025-09-11 06:03:34

Ever noticed how some song lyrics sound absolutely ridiculous when taken out of context? My favorite has to be 'I am a walrus' from The Beatles' 'I Am the Walrus'. Like, what does that even mean? John Lennon later admitted it was pure nonsense, but fans still analyze it like it’s Shakespeare.

Then there’s 'Blame it on the rain' by Milli Vanilli—ironic because they famously blamed their lip-syncing scandal on everything *but* the rain. Music history is full of these gems, where the lyrics are either unintentionally hilarious or so vague they become comedy gold. It’s part of why I love dissecting songs with friends; you never know when you’ll stumble into a lyrical absurdity.

What Are The Best Quotes From The Funny Novel?

5 Answers2025-04-25 07:07:14

One of the funniest moments in the novel comes when the protagonist, trying to impress a date, accidentally orders a dish called 'The Kraken’s Revenge' at a fancy restaurant. The waiter deadpans, 'It’s not just spicy, it’s legally considered a weapon in three states.' The protagonist, sweating profusely, replies, 'I’ll take it as a challenge—and a life insurance policy.' The entire scene is a riot, especially when the date ends up loving the dish and casually mentions she’s a competitive chili eater. The dialogue is sharp, the timing impeccable, and it perfectly captures the absurdity of trying too hard.

Another gem is when the protagonist’s best friend, after a series of disastrous decisions, says, 'I’m not saying I’m the reason chaos exists, but I’m definitely its favorite customer.' This line becomes a running gag throughout the book, popping up at the worst (and funniest) moments. The humor is self-deprecating but relatable, making it a standout quote that readers love to quote in real life.

What Are Some Short And Funny Holiday Quotes?

3 Answers2025-09-11 13:13:34

Nothing beats the chaotic joy of holiday gatherings, and I've collected some gems that perfectly capture the mood. My favorite? 'I’m not arguing, I’s just explaining why I’m right—holiday edition.' It’s the kind of line that makes my cousin snort eggnog out her nose every year. Another classic: 'Santa’s watching? Great, maybe he’ll finally help me find my missing willpower.' I scribbled that one on a sticky note and stuck it to my fridge as a December mantra.

Then there’s the relatable groan of 'Ah, the holidays—when ‘quiet night in’ becomes a myth and ‘sleep’ becomes a currency.' I paired it with a doodle of a tangled Christmas light disaster last year and sent it to my siblings. We still debate whether the lights or Aunt Linda’s ‘helpful’ cooking advice are more chaotic. Wrapping up, I’ll leave you with this: 'Dear Holidays: Please be fun, festive, and minimally flammable.' A lesson learned after the Great Gingerbread House Incident of 2018.

How To Create Your Own Funny Holiday Quotes?

3 Answers2025-09-11 04:01:54

Creating funny holiday quotes is all about blending the absurd with the familiar. Think about the quirks of the season—like how everyone pretends to love fruitcake or the chaos of family gatherings. My favorite approach is to twist classic holiday tropes. For example, 'May your eggnog be strong and your relatives’ opinions be weak' plays on the universal dread of awkward family chats.

Another trick is to exaggerate everyday holiday struggles. 'Santa’s sack is full of presents, but my patience is full of holes' resonates because it’s relatable. I also love referencing pop culture; a 'Home Alone' inspired line like 'Keep the change, you filthy animal… and the wrapping paper too' always gets a laugh. The key is to keep it lighthearted and specific—inside jokes about holiday madness are gold.

Are There Funny Goodbye Quotes For Friends?

2 Answers2025-09-11 19:48:31

You know, bidding farewell doesn't always have to be teary-eyed—sometimes, a quirky quote can leave everyone grinning! My personal favorite is, 'Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because I’m finally leaving and you can reclaim your Wi-Fi bandwidth.' It’s a playful nod to how friends jokingly hog resources, and it lightens the mood. Another gem I’ve used is, 'May our paths cross again before your next existential crisis.' It’s absurd yet oddly relatable, especially if your friend group thrives on chaotic energy.

For a touch of pop-culture flair, I’ve borrowed from 'The Office': 'I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious… so see you never (just kidding, text me tomorrow).' Mash-ups like this work because they’re unexpected—like handing someone a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card but scribbling 'Valid only on Tuesdays' on the back. The key is tailoring the humor to your shared inside jokes. One friend of mine once left a sticky note saying, 'If found, return to sender… or keep me, I’m low-maintenance.' It’s those little surprises that turn goodbyes into memorable punchlines.

What Are Funny 'About Myself Quotes' For Dating Profiles?

5 Answers2025-09-12 04:30:27

You know that moment when you spill coffee on your shirt right before a date? Yeah, that’s basically my life in a nutshell—awkward but endearing. My dating profile should probably come with a disclaimer: 'Warning: May spontaneously quote 'The Office' or burst into terrible karaoke.'

On the bright side, I’m great at finding the silver lining—like how my cooking disasters just mean more takeout adventures. If you’re into someone who can laugh at themselves harder than anyone else, swipe right. Bonus points if you appreciate dad jokes at inappropriate times.

Are There Funny 'Keep Calm And Quotes' Versions?

4 Answers2025-09-08 22:59:58

You know how the classic 'Keep Calm and Carry On' poster became this unstoppable meme template? Well, the internet took that vibe and ran wild with it! My personal favorite is 'Keep Calm and Pretend This Is on the Syllabus'—it perfectly captures that college panic when finals hit. Gaming communities have gems like 'Keep Calm and Headshot' or 'Keep Calm and Press F to Pay Respects.' Anime fans aren’t left out either; 'Keep Calm and Believe in the Heart of the Cards' is a hilarious nod to 'Yu-Gi-Oh!' fandom.

What’s funnier is how niche these get. Cat lovers have 'Keep Calm and Purr On,' while coffee addicts (like me) rally behind 'Keep Calm and Brew Another Pot.' There’s even a darkly funny one for writers: 'Keep Calm and Delete the Draft.' The creativity never ends! It’s a testament to how a simple wartime slogan morphed into this universal inside joke across fandoms and subcultures. I’ve got a whole folder of these saved—they’re like little mood boosters for every chaotic moment.

Where Can I Find Funny Sunday Quotes For Friends?

3 Answers2025-08-28 17:35:03

I get a kick out of hunting down just the right goofy line to send my friends on a slow Sunday, and over the years I've built a little toolbox of go-to places. For quick inspiration I check Pinterest and Instagram—search terms like "funny Sunday quotes for friends" or hashtags #SundayFunday and #SundayMemes usually surface cute quote cards, coffee memes, and short captions you can steal. Goodreads and BrainyQuote are great if you want a polished line, while Reddit pages like r/funny or r/quotes will show raw, internet-born humor that feels less staged.

If I'm crafting something a bit more personal, I use Canva to slap a quote onto a photo (usually a ridiculous selfie or a sleepy cat GIF from Giphy). For scheduling, Buffer or Later helps me post a themed series—morning coffee quips and evening lazy recaps. I also dig through meme sites like 9GAG and Bored Panda when I need heavier sarcasm or absurd humor.

Some lines I often borrow or adapt: 'Sundays: existing for pancakes and questionable life choices', 'If naps were a sport, Sundays would be the Olympics', and 'Weekend status: professionally unmotivated.' Mix in an inside joke, a GIF, and a bit of emoji chaos and your friends will get the vibe. If you want, I can throw together a few tailored captions based on your group's humor—I love that kind of creative mess.

What Are Funny Quotes In Spanish For Friends And Captions?

3 Answers2025-08-29 01:01:24

My group chat is full of chaos, memes, and the occasional poetic disaster, so I've become a bit of a caption DJ — dropping lines that make everyone laugh or roll their eyes. Here are a few of my favorites that always get a reaction:

- 'No estoy dormido, estoy en modo ahorro de energía' — perfect for a lazy selfie after a long day.
- 'Si me buscas, búscame en la nevera' — ideal for food pics or late-night snack stories.
- 'Amigos: los que te hacen reír hasta que te duele la panza (y luego te roban el postre)' — group-photo classic.
- 'Modo: desconectado, pero con notificaciones encendidas para pizza' — use this on a weekend hangout post.

I also keep some spicy one-liners for roasty-banter moments: 'No tengo la culpa de ser increíble, es hereditario', 'Si la envidia doliera, ya sería multiorgasmico' (obviously playful), and 'Me gusta tanto mi cama que se acaba de hacer stalker de mí'. For throwback pics I love: 'TBT: cuando pensaba que tenía las cosas resueltas (spoiler: no)' or the dramatic 'Mi vida es una película, pero alguien cambió el género a comedia'.

Pro tip from my own feed: match the tone to the photo. If it's an awkward selfie, go with self-deprecating humor; if it's a squad pic, pick something that teases everyone equally. And if a caption falls flat, blame it on autocorrect — works every time for me.

What Are Funny Quotes For Farewell Parties And Speeches?

4 Answers2025-08-25 04:01:42

Whenever I get invited to a farewell party, my brain immediately starts drafting the silliest lines—half to make people laugh, half to avoid crying. I like starting with something self-deprecating so the room relaxes: "I was told to keep this short, which is code for 'you have my attention for exactly three minutes and one embarrassing story.'" Another favorite is: "We’ll miss you like an email attachment that never actually attached—so important, always promised, occasionally remembered."

For speeches, I mix a handful of quick zingers with one heartfelt line. Quick zingers I pull out: "Good luck out there—may your coffee be strong and your inbox merciful," or "We’ll try to continue without you, but we’re pretty sure you were the only one who knew how the printer works." Then I finish with something softer that still gets a chuckle: "You’re off to new adventures; just don’t forget where we hid the snacks."

If you want to tailor these, think about the person's role and a small, shared memory—turn that into a punchline and a warm send-off. It’s the little details (the snack stash, the weird mug, the habit of arriving three minutes late) that make people laugh and then feel seen.

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