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Funny Quotes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

42 Chapters

Secret santa: my funny violin

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Not enough ratings

6 Chapters

Married at First Sight

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

9.3

4586 Chapters

My Ex-Wife and Kids Came In Like A Wrecking Ball

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

8.2

2080 Chapters

Triplets on Secret Mission

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

8.6

1882 Chapters

Alpha Jax

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed. ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

9.9

50 Chapters

What Are The Best Quotes From The Funny Novel?

5 Answers2025-04-25 07:07:14

One of the funniest moments in the novel comes when the protagonist, trying to impress a date, accidentally orders a dish called 'The Kraken’s Revenge' at a fancy restaurant. The waiter deadpans, 'It’s not just spicy, it’s legally considered a weapon in three states.' The protagonist, sweating profusely, replies, 'I’ll take it as a challenge—and a life insurance policy.' The entire scene is a riot, especially when the date ends up loving the dish and casually mentions she’s a competitive chili eater. The dialogue is sharp, the timing impeccable, and it perfectly captures the absurdity of trying too hard.

Another gem is when the protagonist’s best friend, after a series of disastrous decisions, says, 'I’m not saying I’m the reason chaos exists, but I’m definitely its favorite customer.' This line becomes a running gag throughout the book, popping up at the worst (and funniest) moments. The humor is self-deprecating but relatable, making it a standout quote that readers love to quote in real life.

Where Can I Find Romantic Funny Quotes Love For Him?

4 Answers2025-08-27 02:06:26

Back when I was scribbling cheesy lines on sticky notes for friends, I learned where the funniest, most romantic quotes hide — and honestly, half the fun is hunting them. I’ll usually start on Pinterest because you get whole boards of playful one-liners and sweet-but-silly couple captions. Tumblr’s tag searches can still surprise with obscure fandom-made lines, and Goodreads has a surprisingly useful quote section if you want something literary and wry. For movie gold, I swear by rom-coms: snippets from 'When Harry Met Sally' or the snarky sweetness of 'The Princess Bride' always land well.

If you want something more modern, scour Instagram meme accounts and quote pages, or check out Reddit threads where people share what actually made their partners laugh. I also keep a tiny note app filled with lines I overhear in cafés or lift from songs — those candid, real-life moments are the best. When I give a quote, I like pairing it with a goofy GIF or a tiny inside joke; it turns a cute sentence into something you both remember.

What Are Funny Quotes For Farewell Parties And Speeches?

4 Answers2025-08-25 04:01:42

Whenever I get invited to a farewell party, my brain immediately starts drafting the silliest lines—half to make people laugh, half to avoid crying. I like starting with something self-deprecating so the room relaxes: "I was told to keep this short, which is code for 'you have my attention for exactly three minutes and one embarrassing story.'" Another favorite is: "We’ll miss you like an email attachment that never actually attached—so important, always promised, occasionally remembered."

For speeches, I mix a handful of quick zingers with one heartfelt line. Quick zingers I pull out: "Good luck out there—may your coffee be strong and your inbox merciful," or "We’ll try to continue without you, but we’re pretty sure you were the only one who knew how the printer works." Then I finish with something softer that still gets a chuckle: "You’re off to new adventures; just don’t forget where we hid the snacks."

If you want to tailor these, think about the person's role and a small, shared memory—turn that into a punchline and a warm send-off. It’s the little details (the snack stash, the weird mug, the habit of arriving three minutes late) that make people laugh and then feel seen.

Where Can I Find Funny Quotes For Facebook With Images?

3 Answers2025-08-25 19:19:11

I get a little giddy whenever I talk about this—there are so many fun places to grab quote images for Facebook, and I love tinkering with them on lazy Sunday afternoons. If you want ready-made images, start with Pinterest and Instagram: search keywords like funny quotes, meme quotes, or even specific shows like 'The Office' or 'Parks and Recreation' for lines that land. Pinterest boards are treasure troves because people pin high-quality PNGs and typographic posters you can reshare (just double-check the source link). Instagram pages such as meme accounts and dedicated quote pages often have image-ready posts you can save and repost with credit.

If you prefer to craft your own—my favorite energy-saver—use Canva or Kapwing. They provide tons of templates sized correctly for Facebook (aim for 1200x630px for best previews). Pick a crisp photo from Unsplash, Pexels, or Pixabay (these are usually free to use), then layer a short, punchy quote and play with fonts until it’s legible on mobile. For mobile-only editing, apps like Phonto, Over (now GoDaddy Studio), or Typorama are super convenient. I usually export at high quality and add a tiny watermark or handle so people know where it came from.

For finding the quotes themselves, BrainyQuote, 'Goodreads' (search the 'funny' tag), Quote Garden, and Quotefancy are great starting spots. Reddit communities like r/funny, r/quotes, or even r/cleanjokes have neat, crowd-tested lines that make people actually comment. A caution: if the quote is from a living comedian or a scripted show, check copyright—paraphrasing or crediting the source (e.g., actor/character and show) is a good habit. I love posting one-liners with a tiny alt text description so my posts are friendly to everyone. Honestly, the best posts are the ones that feel like a quick, shared joke between friends—try a few styles and see what gets people laughing on your feed.

Where Can I Find Funny Quotes About Boyfriend For Captions?

4 Answers2025-08-27 18:33:44

I get a kick out of hunting down captions for posts, especially the goofy boyfriend ones that make people double-tap and laugh. When I'm feeling playful, I start with Pinterest and Instagram—search phrases like 'funny boyfriend captions' or hashtags such as #boyfriendcaptions and #funnycaptions. Pinterest boards are a goldmine because people collect and remix lines from everywhere, plus the images spark new ideas if you want to personalize a quote. I also poke around Tumblr and old Twitter threads; those places have weird, niche humor that feels fresh.

For slightly more curated stuff, I check sites like BrainyQuote, QuoteGarden, and Goodreads for quotes, then give them a twist. Entertainment sites like BuzzFeed, Elite Daily, and Cosmopolitan often compile caption lists that are short and scroll-friendly. If I want cinematic sass I mine lines from romcoms or shows I love—'The Office' or 'Parks and Recreation' have great deadpan zingers—or scan song lyrics on Genius for cheeky one-liners.

My favorite trick is to copy a line I like, tweak it to reference an inside joke or a recent photo, and add emojis to sell the tone. That way it reads like a caption but feels like ours. Honestly, the best captions are the ones that borrow a bit and then make it personal—try that and you'll get way more laughs than just reposting a list.

What Funny About Me Quotes Get More Comments On Posts?

2 Answers2025-08-25 00:41:13

My brain lights up when I think about about-me lines that actually start conversations — they’re tiny doors that invite people to poke their heads in. Over the years I’ve noticed the ones that get the most comments share a few traits: they’re specific, slightly mischievous, and leave room for a reply. Self-deprecating gems like ‘I put my cereal in the microwave sometimes’ or hyperbolic declarations like ‘Professional nap negotiator, undefeated’ are simple but relatable, and people love to chime in with their own confessions or roasts.

If you want more concrete ideas, here are categories that consistently spark replies: 1) Choice prompts — ‘Team coffee or team five-hour energy? Fight!’ forces people to pick sides. 2) Two-truths-or-a-lie twists — ‘I’ve been skydiving, I met a celebrity, I sleep with socks on’ and ask folks to guess. 3) Niche-flex + invite — ‘I can name 50 Mario skins, prove me wrong.’ 4) Tiny dilemmas — ‘Pineapple on pizza: culinary crime or miracle?’ These work because commentors can quickly add a one-liner without thinking too hard. I once tossed up ‘Pancakes or waffles? Help me settle a 10-year feud’ and it spiraled into 200 replies and a new group chat that’s still active.

A few practical moves: keep the line short and punchy; add one emoji to set tone; use a follow-up comment to tag five people and ask them to answer (boosts visibility). Avoid being mean or exclusionary — controversial is fine but don’t weaponize nastiness. Experiment with timing too: evenings and weekend afternoons usually get more traction for casual posts. Finally, treat your about-me like an ongoing improv bit — update it seasonally, reuse the top-performing prompts with small twists, and always reply to the best comments. That quick interaction is what turns a single-liner into a mini-community hangout, and honestly, that’s where the real fun is for me.

What Are Funny Quotes About Happy Life For Friends?

3 Answers2025-08-27 10:44:52

I can't help but grin thinking about the kind of goofy, heartwarming lines I send to my crew during group chats. There's something about a silly quote that makes a rainy day feel like a pizza party. Here are a few of my favorites I actually use — some earned a laughing emoji, some got a screenshot and a group groan.

'Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.' — This is my go-to when someone in the chat posts a dramatic selfie. 'Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.' — Cheeky but oddly comforting after a breakup movie night. 'Happiness is a warm cup of coffee and a friend who pretends your weird stories are interesting.' — I sent this after our 2 a.m. conspiracy theory deep-dive.

I love throwing in situational quips too: 'If we were meant to be perfect, we’d still be getting lost together without GPS.' or 'I don't need therapy, I have friends who ask dumb questions until I laugh.' Toss these into a caption for a throwback photo and watch the nostalgia cascade. Use them on birthday cards, sticky notes on mirrors, or as captions under group selfies. They work because they mock life gently while celebrating it, and that’s basically friendship in a sentence. Give one a spin tonight — someone will definitely snort-laugh, and that’s priceless.

What Are The Best Funny Night Quotes About Insomnia?

3 Answers2025-08-26 06:33:36

If you're lying awake at 3 a.m., scrolling through memes and wondering why your brain insists on doing stand-up comedy at night, I feel you. I keep a mental notebook of the dumb little things insomnia makes me say to myself — those late-night monologues that are somehow both hilarious and tragic. Here are some of my favorite funny night quotes that I either stole from friends or invented while staring at the ceiling lamp:

'Insomnia: because my brain refuses to pay rent to the Sleep Department.'
'Snooze button, more like hope button.'
'I don’t have insomnia; I have unlimited late-night thinking sessions.'
'My sleep schedule and I are on a break.'
'At night my thoughts have party mode enabled.'

I tend to drop these into DMs or use them as captions for my midnight snack photos. Sometimes they work better as text messages to commiserate with fellow night owls — one of my friends replied with a GIF and the single word 'relatable' and I felt validated. If you want quips that double as diagnostic tools, try: 'Went to bed on time, stayed awake for an extended Q&A with my anxieties.' That one gets laughs and therapeutic eye rolls. I also like turning these into little lists to post: they read like a support group with punchlines. Throw one of these into your next midnight rant and watch the replies roll in — or at least you’ll get a chuckle from the glow of your phone.

Which Romance Novel Funny Quotes Are Most Relatable?

3 Answers2025-07-16 19:47:40

I love romance novels that make me laugh out loud, and 'The Hating Game' by Sally Thorne is packed with hilarious, relatable quotes. The banter between Lucy and Josh is so sharp and witty—it feels like watching two people who can’t stand each other but can’t resist flirting either. One of my favorite lines is when Lucy says, 'I’m not a morning person until I’ve had my coffee, and even then, it’s negotiable.' It’s such a mood! Another gem is from 'The Unhoneymooners' by Christina Lauren, where Olive grumbles, 'I’d rather eat a live crab than admit Ethan was right.' The humor in these books is so real because it captures the awkward, messy side of love we all experience.

What Are Funny Quotes About Disappointment To Lighten Mood?

3 Answers2025-08-27 02:53:34

Sometimes I need a little comic relief when disappointment tries to crash the party, so I collect ridiculous one-liners like trading cards. I’m that friend who texts a ridiculous quip after a canceled plan or a finale that turned into a trainwreck; it’s my tiny ritual. After a recent weekend where my hype for a live event met the reality of bad acoustics and soggy fries, I scribbled down a bunch of lines that cracked me up and actually helped me shrug. Here are the ones I reach for when reality hands me lemons that are mostly pith and seeds: 'If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.' 'I had high expectations; reality had other plans (and a weird sense of humor).' 'Disappointment is the universe’s way of introducing you to patience, with attitude.' 'I’m not failing, I’m just discovering ways that don’t work… enthusiastically.' 'Hope is like Wi-Fi: sometimes you need to stand on the chair.' Each of these lands differently depending on the mood — sometimes I want to laugh, sometimes to snark, sometimes to commiserate.

I like mixing short zingers with slightly longer, absurd observations because they’re easy to drop into a group chat. A few of my go-to longer quips: 'My expectations had a GPS error and my reality is waiting at the wrong address.' 'If disappointment were an Olympic sport, I’d have a participation trophy and a thoughtful speech.' 'The best kind of disappointment is the one that brings snacks and an emergency nap.' I’ll admit, approaching disappointment with humor is a tiny act of rebellion: it says, 'You may have ruined my plan, but you won’t steal my vibe.' After a flop date where the conversation dried up and the waiter disappeared, I texted a friend: 'Plot twist: we were both judged by a fruit salad and failed.' It’s ridiculous, but it made me giggle over coffee instead of brooding. If you want a one-liner to drop in a drama-filled group thread, try: 'That was less fireworks and more overturned confetti.' It’s silly, true, and usually gets a laugh or two. I keep a mental rolodex of these and sometimes improvise based on the situation — disappointment doesn’t have to be heavy; it can be the punchline to a story you’ll tell later while shaking your head and smiling.