Funny Vine Quotes

My best friend loved playing 'jokes.' On my birthday, she projected my worst photos in front of everyone, saying she just wanted to 'liven up the mood.' When I was on my period, she deliberately gave me a defective pad. Even when she saw the stain on my clothes, she said nothing–claiming she was helping me 'get more attention.' After I started dating, she edited my photos into suggestive images and spread them across social media groups, pricing them like a product. When I finally snapped and confronted her, she just laughed. "I'm just helping you test your boyfriend," she said. "If he doubts you, then he doesn't really love you. How can you blame me?" Later, a man used the information from those posts to track me down and harm me. I did not survive what followed. However, when I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day she first shared those images.

My boyfriend had just gotten home from a long day at the construction site when I demanded that he go out in the pouring rain and buy me a box of premium cherries. His voice was tired. "We're running low on money. Rent's due tomorrow. How about strawberries instead?" I grabbed a throw pillow and hurled it at him. "Get out, you loser!" After throwing him out, I curled up on the couch and sulked. Then a stream of floating comments suddenly appeared before my eyes. [This woman has no idea she's calling a billionaire heir a loser! He only ended up working construction because he lost his memory after being set up!] [His fiancée will find him soon. Once he regains his memories, he'll discover this woman has been lying to him all along!] [This spoiled brat is already pregnant. Later she'll use the baby to cause trouble, but she'll be killed right after giving birth, and the child will be abused too!] I froze. My hand instinctively moved to my stomach. Pregnant? At that moment, the front door opened. Landon Pierce stepped inside, soaked from head to toe, a box of premium cherries clutched in one hand. He looked at me nervously and spoke with careful hesitation. "I spent the last two hours delivering food orders so I could afford the box of premium cherries." He held it out to me. "Please don't make me leave, okay?"

(CAUTION: MATURE CONTENT.) PLEASS DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE STEAMY CONTENT (IT CONTAINS MULTIPLE EROTIC SCENES).   "Who thought I could find my lover on Facebook, of all places?" Joyce thought to herself with a brightened smile after just saying goodnight at 4:30 AM to her naughty Facebook lover in the early hours of Monday. Joyce is a 23-year old young woman and a student at Darlington University. Due to the stress and boring life that she faces on campus, she wanted a distraction from it all once in a while. Now she had gotten addicted to sex chatting with her Facebook lover every single day at any given time, and she didn't quite know how she got wet easily by the romantic words of Finn, whom she only had a picture of.   Would they eventually meet up in person and take things from there? Would they leave things as they are on Facebook and continue sex chatting? Or would they break up sooner than we thought? Find out in this novel called My Naughty Facebook Lover. (Warning: Mature content)

At one in the morning, the neighbor upstairs suddenly knocked on my door. He said there was a leak in his apartment and asked if our place had been affected. I was just about to open the door when my vision was flooded with comments. [Open the door, and you're dead! That man outside is not your neighbor!] [Didn't the old man upstairs who lived alone go to Marcasia last week to find his new love interest? There shouldn't be anyone up there at all!] I immediately pulled away from the doorknob. At that moment, an emergency notice popped up in the residential property chat. [Unit 1307 has a burst pipe with severe leakage. Property management will inspect the building's water system.] [Is anyone home in 1207? We need to check whether your ceiling is leaking. Please open the door.] Unit 1207 was my place. The comments flooded my vision again. [What kind of property management does inspections at one in the morning? They're in on it together!] [Bea, stay hidden! Your destined man will descend from the heavens to save you!] I nodded solemnly, as if I was taking them very seriously. I turned around and grabbed my climbing rope. Amid the hysterical screaming of the comments, I leapt straight off the balcony. I'm someone who got a second life. Last time around, my entire life was ruined by listening to these brain-dead comments. This time, I'd rather die from the fall than end up as a breeding machine again.

"Wait let me get this straight, you want me to get fat?" Cara does not know if she should be offended or threatened. Was this his grand plan to make her pay for the scene she caused? It's nuts. "Pregnant, so yeah," "You are going cuckoo, I am leaving." "A million dollars which you can use for payment of your mum's treatment and the rest, I don't care what you do with it." Cara stops to she process his words. ~~~ What happens when the billionaire meets one of the craziest girl on the planet? Well, for sure there's gonna be; Publicity stunts, hilarious arguments, living together Fake relationship, surrogacy, sex and many more. But is there gonna be love? There's only one way to find out..... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE THEMES AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGES, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! Cover by: @quirksofchole

Dad was terrified of being laughed at. Every holiday, he only ever said one thing. “Do not embarrass me.” The relatives were sitting around chatting when I accidentally knocked over a fruit platter on the table. He grabbed me right there and slapped me across the face. At dinner, I reached for a second helping of pot roast, and he kicked my chair out from under me. Later, when it was time to hand out gift cards, Uncle Ray miscounted and came up one short. Without a word, Dad shoved me out into the hallway in nothing but a thin shirt. The cold cut straight through me. I pounded on the door while I cried and apologized. He did not make a sound. He turned to Uncle Ray with an apologetic smile and said, “Sorry about that. I guess I have not taught this kid any manners.” He did not know that his lessons had already conditioned me to flinch at the phrase “laughed at.” Every time I heard it, I froze and felt myself shut down. When I heard him say it again through the closed door, I turned in silence and walked toward the dark bridge at the edge of the neighborhood. I did not know what I planned to do. I only knew I wanted the noise in my head to stop. I reached the railing and stared at the water below. One thought crossed my mind. “Dad, this time, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again.”