Anxiety Attack Shaking Uncontrollably

Alpha Fabian's first reaction to learning I was his fated mate? Rejection. But drunk at the bonfire festival, he couldn't fight the pull of fate. He marked me. Marking a rejected mate came with a price. His power weakened. Forced into a bond with me, he despised me. For two years, I bled for him. I did 100 impossible things, just hoping for a single glance. I snuck into forbidden lands for rare herbs. I negotiated with enemy packs. I fought on the front lines for him in pack wars, always coming back covered in scars. But the one he truly loved was my adopted sister, Gloria. Even my own parents, the pack's Beta, hated me. I was their lost daughter, raised by rogues for fifteen years. But they only had eyes for their perfect, obedient adopted girl. Then, on my 100th task, I nearly died in the Valley of Shadows. When I woke up, I had amnesia. I was done chasing a cold mate and a family's love I'd never have. And when I finally walked away, Fabian discovered the truth. It was never me who couldn't live without him. It was always him.

For three years, I’d used my family’s connections to bring the company hundreds of millions in revenue. But at the quarterly meeting, the new intern stood before everyone, displaying my attendance and expense reports, and accused me of “unexcused absences” and “squandering company funds.” “These high-end clubs, these restaurants…” she declared, her voice ringing with self-righteousness. “She spends thousands of dollars every time! These are completely unnecessary expenses.” “I strongly advise the CEO to fire her immediately and save the company’s cash flow.” I glanced at Claude, the CEO. My old classmate. He knew exactly how much revenue each of those meetings generated. He also knew that when I wasn't in the office, I was at some bar, negotiating with investors, sometimes drinking until my stomach turned. But he just stared at me coldly. “Caroline, what’s your explanation for the absences and expenses Lia has presented?” I smiled. “I have nothing to explain.” They would all learn, very soon, the consequences of this little stunt.

I was born a Gifted She-Wolf — the only one who could carry an heir of the Ashford royal bloodline. The Alpha King begged me to marry his heir, Hadley. I refused and mated to Hadley's brother — the disgraced former heir who'd been injured in battle. The rumors said he could no longer function as a man. Because in my past life, I'd loved Hadley. We grew up together. I gave him everything. I swallowed bowl after bowl of forbidden tonics. I let blood parasites tear through my veins just to conceive his pup. And when I nearly bled to death giving birth, Hadley threw me to the Rogues. I screamed. I begged him to stop. He just held our pup and laughed. "If you hadn't bewitched my father, he never would've forced me to mate you. My Juno died of heartbreak because of you. You're a Gifted She-Wolf, aren't you? You love breeding so much — then breed for every Rogue in Ashford Territory." The Rogues broke me until I died. Hadley tossed my body at Juno's grave as an offering. My pup was recorded as Juno's child. Then I opened my eyes — back to the moment the Alpha King first begged me to marry Hadley.

On our fifth wedding anniversary, my husband, Damian Pyke, once again left me for his first love. He said, "Taking care of a child alone isn't easy for Waverly. You're both women—can't you show her some understanding?" Not only was I willing to understand Waverly Benson, but I was also ready to step aside entirely so they could raise her child together. So, I packed my bags and applied for an overseas architecture program through my workplace. However, he eventually regretted it, crying and begging me not to go.

When I was ten, I accidentally overheard my mother on the phone. It seemed like she was talking about me being a switched-at-birth rich girl, and that my real last name was Gardner. The coldness and cruelty my mother had shown me all these years suddenly made sense. When I turned 11, I paid an adult to get a maternity test done for both my mother and me. The results confirmed that I was indeed her biological daughter. I kept the report to myself and pretended I was still in the dark.

The night before my mating ceremony with Alpha Garrett Northwood of the Silverpine Pack, he held a grand Luna ceremony for my silver-poisoned stepsister behind my back. He held Serena close under the starlit sky, his smile tender in a way I'd never seen: "You're the only one I truly love, Serena." "Even though Maya and I are already registered as mates with the Alpha Council, she'll never have my heart. You're the only one I recognize as my Luna." The pack members cheered and blessed them as they completed the ceremony with joy. I watched it all without crying or screaming. Instead, I quietly scheduled an abortion appointment. I've loved Garrett Northwood for twelve years, ever since I first shifted as an adult. But his heart still only had room for my stepsister Serena. If that's how it was, I'd let go. Later, I joined the secluded Herbal Research Center of the Alpha Council. I left Garrett nothing but a mate bond dissolution agreement. But for some reason, Garrett—who had always treated me with disdain—suddenly went crazy begging me not to leave.

My mate and my brother hated me for twelve years. They believed I stole their precious Sarah's herbal research and bullied her for twelve years into silence. At my marking ceremony, they exposed my "crimes" to the entire supernatural world. "She's nothing but a bully who torments her packmates and a thief who stole the herb formula from Sarah!" But Sarah smiled through her tears: "The formula doesn't matter anymore." "As long as it saved our wolves from silver poisoning, what does it matter who created it?" "I've already forgiven her." She became the pack's angel of mercy. I was condemned by thousands, until the very wolf I'd saved with my medicine poured silver water over my head. In my despair, I dragged Sarah down with me into death. When I opened my eyes again, I was back in my second year of high school. Sarah was slicing her arm with a silver blade, smiling as she asked: "Have you thought about how you'll apologize to me?" Something in me snapped. My Alpha power surged forth, crushing her to her knees. I grabbed the blade: "Let me show you what real cuts look like."

After my pack fell, my father and I joined the Black Moon Pack. Alpha Victor admired my gift for runes and promised to make me his Luna. I was so full of hope, I didn’t even mind that he was using my gift to shield his entire pack. But he kept delaying our marking ceremony, leaving me to endure the pack’s scorn for my fallen bloodline. On the eve of my father’s death, he even temporarily marked Seraphina, the daughter of another Alpha. He claimed it was to secure an alliance. I cried myself dry in the endless wait, only to hold my father as he died in my arms. Victor, however, continued to use my gift, commissioning runes from me only to give them to Seraphina. The final straw was when Seraphina destroyed my rune sanctum and flaunted the very pendant I’d crafted for my own bonding ceremony. That’s when my heart finally shattered. I no longer cared about being his Luna. I simply walked away. But after I left, Victor’s desperate plea echoed from the Moon Goddess altar. “Come back and be my Luna. Please.”

The day my son is born, my husband holds him tightly, looking overjoyed. However, while I'm asleep, he secretly swaps my son with the child next door—his first love's baby. I act like I know nothing and arrange for someone to switch the babies back. My husband wants me to raise someone else's child as my own but has no idea he's not even the father of my son. Ten years later, I transfer all my assets to my son's name as a birthday gift. That's when my husband's first love, Amanda Larkin, crashes the birthday party. She looks at me smugly and says, "The son you've treasured for the past decade is actually mine!"

In order to protect me, Don Salvatore deliberately announces that my fiance, Simone Pozzi, is his long-lost son. Simone shakes with excitement when he sees the man in a bespoke suit stepping out of the Rolls-Royce that is parked outside my house. Just as I'm about to tell him it's all a lie, he shoves me aside. He even brushes his sleeves in disgust, as if he has touched something filthy. Simone says, "Stay away from me. Don't let your poverty rub off on me! Since I'm the Don's son, we'll call off our engagement. An illegitimate bastard like you isn't even fit to wipe my shoes!" When I try to explain, he cuts me off by writing out a check and flinging it hard into my face. The sharp edge of the paper slices across my cheek. "Take this one million dollars as our breakup fee and don't bother me again. We're no longer from the same world," Simone says. I watch the check flutter down into the mud and quietly turn off my phone screen. On the screen is a message Papa—Don Salvatore—has just sent me, "Just bear with it a little longer, Principessa. Papa will bring you home soon to take over the famiglia." Simone is so determined to cut himself off completely. He might have the luck to claim a fortune that big, but not the life to enjoy it.