April Fool Funny Memes

Le soir de notre neuvième anniversaire de mariage, mon mari Rémy, l'homme qui dirigeait la famille mafieuse le jour et faisait palpiter mon cœur la nuit, ne m'a pas offert de roses. Il les a données à Lise, son assistante personnelle. Sous le lustre où nous avions dansé en tant que jeunes mariés, il s'est tourné vers moi avec le charme qu'il avait autrefois lorsqu'il me murmurait son amour à l'oreille, la voix glacée. « Elle est enceinte », a-t-il dit, comme si cela expliquait tout, « et elle est difficile en ce qui concerne la nourriture. A partir de maintenant, tu devras lui préparer trois repas, sans répétition. » « Elle est sensible et n'aime pas dormir seule, alors tu devras mettre tes affaires dans la chambre d'amis. » La pièce était silencieuse. Je n'ai pas crié, je n'ai pas pleuré, j'ai juste pris ma valise et je me suis dirigée vers la porte. Le majordome a essayé de m'arrêter, et Rémy n'a même pas sourcillé. « Elle reviendra », a-t-il dit en secouant paresseusement son verre de vin rouge, « et dans trois jours, elle pleurera tout en me suppliant. » Les invités ont éclaté de rire. Ils ont parié un million d'euros devant moi. Ils pariaient pour savoir si j'allais supplier Rémy de me laisser entrer avant demain matin, comme un chien errant sans dignité. Mais ils ne savaient pas que j'avais déjà reçu le jeton de famille de mon vrai père et que j'avais réservé mon vol de départ. Cette fois, je partirais vraiment.

I train so hard that even in my sleep, I recite medical formulas. At long last, victory is mine! I am the champion of the Healers' Competition. But just as they place the trophy in my hands, my twin sister, Sasha Flanders, strides onto the stage and snatches it away. With brazen conviction, she declares, "I'm the true champion! My sister swapped the competitor's information to steal this honor from me!" The audience gasps in an uproar. Before my stunned eyes, the judges revoke my title on the spot. I don't yet realize that this competition is no ordinary contest—it is the Alpha King Leonard Muller's secret trial, one that is meant to select his future Luna Queen. Rumor paints him as monstrous—hideous of face, bloodthirsty in nature, and treats women as nothing more than breeding machines. It is said this is why he has never taken a mate. His summons arrived this very night, commanding Sasha to attend the coronation ceremony as Luna Queen. My Beta fiance, Timothy Newsom, turns ashen with rage. The next day, Sasha comes to flaunt herself before me, her neck freshly marked, carrying Timothy's scent. "Oh, my poor sister. Your precious fiance marked me. What will you do now? You're turning 25 in three days. By our pack's law, if no one claims you, you'll be thrown to the impotent, deranged, and broken wolves no one else will have. You'll be worse than trash." Her shrill laughter cracks in my ears, squeezing the breath from my chest. But I will not let that break me. I went straight to my parents. "If Sasha dares not to be Luna Queen… then let me take her place."

On our sixth wedding anniversary, my cheeks burn as I dodge my husband, Ethan Grant, leaning in for a hungry kiss. I push him toward the nightstand for a rubber. What he doesn't know is that I've tucked a surprise in there, a positive pregnancy test. I can already see it, the way his whole face will light up the second he finds it. But the moment his hand goes for the drawer, his phone goes off. His best friend, Henry Miller, comes on the line in Danish. "Mr. Grant, how was last night? That new love couch our company rolled out is treating you okay?" Ethan lets out a low laugh and answers in Danish, "The massage feature's great. Saves me from having to rub Sandy's back myself." He still has me pulled tight against him, but his eyes look straight through me, like he's seeing someone else. "This stays between us. If my wife ever finds out I slept with her sister, I'm done." It feels like someone just put a knife through my chest. What they don't know is that I minored in Danish in college, so I catch every single word. I force myself to stay calm, but the arms I have looped around Ethan's neck won't stop shaking. At that moment, I stop hesitating and decide I'll take the offer from that international research project. Three days from now, I'll be gone from Ethan's world for good.

In der Nacht unseres neunten Hochzeitstags brachte mir mein Ehemann – Damian Grant, der Mann, der am Tag die Mafia beherrschte und einst bei Nacht mein Herz regierte – keine Rosen. Er schenkte den Strauß, der mir hätte gehören sollen, Serena Lane, seiner persönlichen Assistentin. Unter dem Kronleuchter, bei dem wir einst an unserem Hochzeitsabend getanzt hatten, wandte er sich mir zu – mit demselben kalten Charme, mit dem er mir früher süße Nichtigkeiten ins Ohr geflüstert hatte: „Sie ist schwanger.“ Endlich ergab alles Sinn. „Sie ist wählerisch beim Essen. Von heute an wirst du ihr drei Mahlzeiten am Tag kochen. Und keine Wiederholungen. Außerdem ist sie sensibel und hasst es, allein zu schlafen. Du wirst also deine Sachen ins Gästezimmer bringen.“ Der Raum verstummte. Ich erhob nicht die Stimme, vergoss keine einzige Träne. Ich nahm einfach meinen bereits gepackten Koffer und ging zur Tür. Der Butler versuchte, mich aufzuhalten, doch Damian blinzelte nicht einmal. „Sie kommt zurück.“ Er schwenkte träge den Wein in seinem Glas. „Sie kommt innerhalb von drei Tagen weinend und flehend zurück.“ Ein Gelächter brach unter unseren Gästen aus. Sie schlossen direkt vor meinen Augen eine Wette über eine Million Dollar ab. Sie wetteten darauf, ob ich noch vor Ablauf der Nacht zurückkommen und Damian anflehen würde, mich wieder hereinzulassen – wie ein erbärmlicher Straßenköter mit eingeklemmtem Schwanz. Doch sie wussten nicht, dass ich bereits das Familienerbstück meines leiblichen Vaters erhalten hatte. Ich hatte meinen Flug gebucht, weit weg von allen, die ich je gekannt hatte. Dieses Mal war ich wirklich gegangen.

On the night of our ninth wedding anniversary, my husband—Damian Grant, the man who ruled the mafia by day and once ruled my heart by night—did not bring me roses. He gave the bouquet that should have been mine to Serena Lane, his personal assistant. Beneath the chandelier where we once danced on our wedding night, he turned to me with that same cold charm he once used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear. “She's pregnant.” Finally, everything fell into place. “She's a picky eater. From today onward, you’ll cook three meals a day for her. And no repeats. “She’s sensitive and hates sleeping alone, so you’ll need to move your things into the guest room.” The room fell silent. I did not raise my voice, nor did I shed a single tear. I simply picked up my packed suitcase and walked to the door. The butler tried to stop me, but Damian did not even blink. “She’ll come back.” He lazily swirled the wine in his glass. “She’ll come back crying and begging within three days.” Our guests burst out laughing. They placed a million-dollar bet right in front of me. They were betting on whether I would be back before the night was over, begging Damian to let me back in like a pathetic stray dog with my tail between my legs. However, they did not know I had already received the family heirloom from my real father. I booked my flight to get far, far away from everyone I used to know. This time, I really left.

I was nine months along and ready to give birth, but my husband, Sean Conner, had me locked in the basement storage room and told me to hold the baby in. He said it was because his late brother’s wife, Quinn Faber, was also due today. Years ago, Sean and his brother had agreed that the first child born to the Conners would be raised as the heir and inherit the family inheritance. “Quinn’s baby must come first,” Sean said as if it were nothing. “She lost her husband and has nothing. You already have my love. It’s only right that the inheritance goes to her child.” The pain from the contractions folded me over, and I cried, begging him to take me to the hospital. He wiped my tears with a dangerously calm voice. “Stop the act,” he snapped. “I always knew you didn’t love me. All you care about is money and status. You forced labor to happen early so you could steal my nephew’s place… How can you be so cruel?” White-faced and shaking, I managed to whisper, “I can’t control when a baby comes. It’s a coincidence. I swear I don’t care about the inheritance. I love you!” He let out a cold laugh. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have pushed Quinn to sign that contract relinquishing her child’s inheritance. Fine. Once she has her baby, I’ll come back for you. After all, the child in your belly is my blood.” Sean stayed outside Quinn’s delivery room. Only after the newborn arrived did he remember me. He ordered his secretary to take me to the hospital, but the secretary’s voice trembled as he said. “Madam… and the baby… They’re both gone…” At that moment, Sean lost his mind.

As the upcoming tour approached, the dance troupe suddenly revoked my position as the lead dancer. Anxious to get an explanation in person, I lost my footing due to my distracted state and tumbled down the stairs. While enduring the sharp pain and preparing to call for emergency services, a notification popped up on my phone screen: “Redwood Dance Troupe: Welcome our new lead dancer, Averil Wells, and our generous sponsor, Julian Ford." The accompanying photo featured two smiling faces—my husband of seven years, whom I had secretly married, and his pampered mistress. Julian had his arm wrapped around Averil's waist as he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Meanwhile, Averil clung to Julian's neck, her face radiating shyness and delight.

My childhood friend used to be a gifted young artist until he fell in love with the most beautiful girl on campus. I told his parents about it, and he was forced to study abroad. Eventually, he took control of the family business, and I became one of his employees. Following his orders, my boss drugged my drink and sent me to the room of a business associate. I was subjected to humiliation and torture until I died.I woke up again, realizing that I had been transported back in time to a point before all of these events had occurred.

Wendy and James had been married for eight years. One day, Wendy told James that she wanted to have a child with another man, and she wanted to hold a wedding with that man as well. Faced with James's questioning, Wendy didn't beat around the bush. "You're infertile and he's willing to give me a child. We're only having a child and holding a wedding. That's all. We won't be getting a marriage certificate, so he has no effect on your status." James's heart turned cold. He arranged the best wedding for Wendy and the man named "Sean." Wendy was very happy with how obedient James was. When they were saying their vow, James was lying on the operating table all alone and was erasing all his memories of Wendy from his mind.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.