Best Fat Jokes

Kenzie Wright needed a rebound guy, and a flirtatious billionaire was the perfect lad to do the job. Much to her surprise, the same striking man, Andrew Kentworthy, was determined to marry her in a flash. *** "Step one, leave the country. Done. Step two, find a rebound,” Kenzie reminded herself after stepping inside an exclusive bar. Her eyes scanned every corner of the establishment, and after spotting the best candidate, she said, "Bingo!” Kenzie strolled eagerly toward a tall and handsome stranger. She held onto his arm and said, “Hi there, sweetie. There you are. I've been looking all over for you.” She envisioned several scenarios in her head, concluding how it would play, but the man's reaction was not quite as she expected. With a smirk on his face, the man answered, “Well, if it isn't my lovely wife. I knew you could not get out of bed after what we did last night.” 'Wait. What? Last night? Wife?' Before Kenzie could even counter, his lips crashed into hers, hungrily tasting her luscious lips. 'Shameless!' She silently screamed, her eyes beaming at the gorgeous man while her knees weakened to his minty taste. Regardless of the man's words, Kenzie confirmed the stranger was the perfect rebound, and maybe… just maybe… even more. *** Book 2 of the Wright Family Series Book 1: Mommy, Where Is Daddy? The Forsaken Daughter's Return Book 3: I Kissed A CEO And He Liked It Book 4: The Devil's Love For The Heiress Book 5: I Fell For The Boy His Daddy Was A BonusNote: Each story can be read as a standalone. Follow me on social media. Search Author_LiLhyz on IG & FB.

Liara Haysbert's whole world revolved around her books and her family. She didn't want to find her mate just after turning eighteen because she wanted to become a doctor first. A part of her didn't wish to find her mate because she was scared that her mate would reject her. Because she used to struggle to speak in front of anyone, as she had been mocked her whole life because of her nerd nature. But life had another plan for her when out of the blue, her part crossed with her fated mate, a rogue. "Ple..please sto..stop following me." Liara whimpered, feeling scared, but immediately she realized something, "Oh!! I…I get it.. You can't s..stop yourself be..because of the mate bond. Let..lets reject each other, okay?" "Ple..please tell me yo..your name." She whispered. "I don't have a name, Liara. Everyone calls me by different names; you can choose one to reject me. The options are Bastard, Killer, Asshole, Black, Red, Speed, dickhead, Beast, heartless, leech, dog, etc. The list is too long." Liara's heart sank upon hearing this, and she soon realized what the hell she was going to do. She kept staring at him without blinking her eyes for a while before speaking. "Theodore." It meant 'a gift of god'. And he was indeed a gift by Moon Goddess; otherwise, they wouldn't have been 'FATED MATES.' * Book 4: Fated Mates: Love Over Everything (Ongoing) Book 3: The Rejected Luna: Daddy, Where is Mommy? (Ongoing) Book 1: Billionaire’s Ex-Wife & His Hidden Babies (Completed) Book 2: My Mate is a Witch (Completed) *** Follow me on social media. Search ‘sprachi12’

She smirks, before asking "do you like that, my little mate?”. I’m too far gone to even care about the “little” part. “Yes..” I manage to breathe out, before she licks me again. “Say please, my little mate” she taunts, her eyes still glued to mine and her hand still pleasuring me. “Please Lola” I breathe out. And just like that, she wraps her mouth around the tip, before taking in my c*ck until it hits the back of her throat. “I… I’m cumming” I croak out, when I feel I’m about to topple over. She pulls her mouth off, and immediately places my c*ck between her perfect . I move up and down slowly, as my starts to cover her . ****** Lola is an omega within the Red Dagger pack. She was found as a baby in the woods. With her curvy body, blonde hair and green eyes she is the total opposite of all the other wolves. And as a result, is treated like an outcast. Lola long awaits the day she turns 18, gets her wolf and is able to leave Red Dagger. All she has to do is withstand one more schoolyear, despite the constant struggles to reign in her anger. But what happens when the bucket runs over and her restraint finally snaps? As the story unfolds, she will come across those who desire her and her fated mates, the Lycan princes. Lola has never wanted a mate and after all betrayals is reluctant to trust anyone anymore, but will she let any of them in eventually? And what happens when her wolf is revealed to have special powers? Will she find her happy ever after with a mate, her fated mates, or will the darkness swallow her whole?

“ Know this. You have to do what I ask of you. And don’t ask any questions. ” His voice drops a few octaves. Instinctively, I place my hands over his chest, feeling his beating heart under my palm. “ Just do as I say and everything will be fine. ” His eyes lower to my lips. “ Or else…”  The lingering threat triggers the rebel side of mine. “ Or else? ” “ Or else…” He lifts his gaze to my eyes and shoots me a very promising smirk. “ I will make you. " ******** ******** A wild night out with her two best friends, away from her controlling boyfriend was all Natalie Whitman planned on the ocassion of her 20th birthday, but it didn't turn out quite right. Because now, she was marked and claimed by a man she doesn't even know and her boyfriend of two years is pounding the door. Hide the truth or pretend to be not marked—That's her only choice but it doesn't prove out to be easy when the Alpha who marked her comes barging in her life and it becomes impossible for her to ignore him.

"Don't tell me you don't want this Sebestian. How can you deny our bond?" Allen said. "We both know we are meant to be together. You can't fight it forever. We both know that we are mate...." "No, don't say it, it's not possible"Sebestian said with a wince. "You know we can't be together and I don't want this Allen. I don't want you". "I am rejecting you Allen...... Goodbye''.

A forced marriage between a human girl, ugly and fat at first sight and a very handsome and rich alpha? Thanks, but no thanks! For six months she was his luna and yet he has never seen her in this time! He left her alone and lived in his packhouse. She was underage at the time of their marriage because she was adopted and none knows her real age , but things are never easy in the world of werewolves. And when you discover after divorcing that your ex-wife was your fated mate , all you have to do is learn that the sky starts at the ankles, right from where you stepped on it. But Meredith and Max's story is not a sad one. It's just another story about what happens when karma hits you with all its might. It is a story about mistakes , reconciliation and forgiveness. But most of all, it's about love.

A flash flood swept down from the mountains, causing me to become caught in a car crash. As five steel bars pierced through me, I could feel my blood pouring out in torrents as my life hung by a thread. My husband rushed to the scene. Instead of coming to me, he cradled his true love from the passenger seat and walked away. He didn't even glance in my direction. I was in and out of the ICU three times, clinging to life. Not once did he visit me. His attention was wholly fixed on the girl, who only had a mild concussion. After nearly ten years of deceiving myself, I couldn't keep playing the fool any longer. The day I was discharged, I asked my husband, Dominic Davis, for a divorce. I had survived by sheer luck, and I wasn't about to waste any more time with a husband who didn't love me.

“You think I want this?” she hisses. “You think I asked for this bond? I hate you. I hate everything about you. You killed my husband. You took everything from me!” “Then kill me,” I growl, my voice barely more than a whisper. “If you hate me so much, kill me and end this.” She shakes her head, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not giving you the easy way out. Not until I know what rejecting this bond will do to me and my pack. Not until I know what we’re dealing with. Until then, I invoke The Gallows Law.” *** Luna Katya's world is shattered when her husband, Alpha Andrei, is killed by the ruthless Rogue Alpha Ruslan. Grieving and pregnant, Katya is ready to see the man responsible for her loss executed. But when Ruslan is brought before her, the mate bond snaps into place, throwing her life into chaos. Shocked and horrified, Katya calls for a stay of execution, invoking an old law known as The Gallows Law, which forbids the execution of a fated mate. Now, Katya must not only face the anger of her pack, who are disgusted by her sudden connection to the man they all hate, but a mate who hates her and who she hates in equal measure. Caught in a web of anger and attraction, Katya must decide whether to reject the bond and risk its unknown consequences, or keep the Rogue alive long enough to figure out what the Goddess has cursed her with. But the clock is ticking, and the pack won’t wait forever for justice.

I couldn't understand why he would want to risk marrying me. I was their rivals daughter, a mafia princess, but worse, I was a pet and an undesirable. My worth in life was next to nothing and yet, when Marek Baranov looked at me, I felt cared about for the first time. It made me want to help him. Let him use me for his own gains. Marek offered me protection but I requested revenge. - She didn't understand why I accepted her but neither did I. I wanted to protect her, heal her, fix what her family had broken. What I wasn't prepared for the storm that was Rosaria Bernardi. She looked into my soul and made me feel more than just a soldier. In return, I would give her what she wanted; her father kneeling at her feet.

Affected by her broken family, Amy Hood found it hard to hold faith in a relationship. However, the desire to be a mother drove her to make a crazy decision. She decided to get a cute baby from some stranger. She picked an outstanding one and spent an unforgettable night with him. This was supposed to be a one-night stand for both of them. But never in her wildest dream, Amy had expected life would bring her back to him, Derek Shepherd, Her New Boss. If things could get any worse, it's when he started to force her to step into this dangerous relationship.