best jokes ever tagalog

Eggust Flemming had been obsessed with his mom’s best friend all his life and vowed that the next time he saw her he’d never let her go Juss índigo thought her life would end when she discovered she was pregnant for the little boy she had a one night stand with who happened to be her student and best friend’s son. But it was just the beginning of something she never saw coming

"Run Athena, run!" the arrogant voice I can hear all over the place. "Or else I devour you. Make you mine. Only Mine. I don't care if you don't love me back. You have no choice. I choose you to be mine!" I run but only the monster voice approaching me. I scream for a help but only his demonic laugh I can hear. Until I stumble. I am about to raise again in my foot but as I lifted my gazed, he was standing in front of me. "I have three words for you. This is only your option. COME WITH ME." @Death Wish Cover is not mine, all respect and praise to the owner. You may also read my other novels: Taming the Dangerous CEO The Devilish Billionaire Fated to Marry the Devil Thank you so much and Enjoy!

Ang mga PUTI at ITIM ay parehong mga lahi ng BAMPIRA na mahigpit na magkaribal sa mahabang panahon simula sa taong Pitong-daan at dalawa (702). Ang mga puting bampira ay ang mga bampirang itinuturing na mabubuti at may puso ngunit sa kabilang banda naman, ang mga itim ang siyang kabaliktaran. Mga traydor, gahaman, at walang mga puso sa kapwa nilang kalahi. Nang maisilang ang Ikalabing-tatlong Prinsipe ng mga itim ay naalerto ang mga puti dahil nakasaad sa orakulo na matutuldukan na ang kanilang lahi kung maisisilang ang itim na bampirang iyon ngunit hindi nila napigilan ang pagluluwal ng Reyna ng mga itim. Habang lumalaki ang bunsong anak ng Supremo ng mga itim ay mas lalo itong nagiging makapangyarihan kung kaya't nagsagawa sila ng hakbang upang unahan ang nga itim sa gagawin ng mga itong pag-ubos sa kanila. Hindi nila inaasahan na mapapatumba nila ang Prinsipe ng mga itim sa pamamagitan ng isang kemikal na magpapatulog nito sa mahabang panahon. Nagkaroon ng pag-asa ang mga puti nang sabihin ng orakulo na may sanggol na magmumula sa kanilang lahi na siyang tuluyang makakagapi sa Prinsipe ng mga itim. Ngunit lingid sa kanilang kaalaman na may natitira pa pa lang mga bampira na nagmula sa lahi ng mga itim na desididong muling pabangonin ang kanilang lahi na matagal nang natutulog sa mahabang panahon. "Hintayin ninyo ang muling pagbangon ng mga itim na siyang tuluyang tutuldok sa inyong lahi." -lalaking nakaitim

Isang normal na gabi lang sana ang lahat kay Paris Laurene, kung hindi lamang niya nasaksihan ang tumataginting na pagkabigo ni Theon, sa isang dalagang balak nitong ipakilala bilang girlfriend sa abuela nito. Last minute nang bigla nalang umayaw ang dalagang bitbit ni Theon kaya’t naiwan ito habang di malaman kung paano haharapin ang parating na Lola. Well look at that, even the hot, rich and devilishly handsome Theonnius Naverra got dump in front of her very eyes! May pag-asa pa ang Earth! Hindi maatim ni Paris na hayaan si Theon na humarap nang bigo sa abuela nitong dumating sa naturang tagpuan. kahit pa kating-kati na ang dila niyang budburan ito ng pang-aasar. Ngunit dahil isa siyang mabait, maganda at binibining may busilak na kalooban, nagpakilala siya bilang girlfriend ni Theon. “Relax, Theon. Magbi-break din naman tayo.” Nakaisip na si Paris ng plano upang malinis na matakasan nilang dalawa ni Theon ang ginawa nilang pagpapanggap na magkasintahan. Iyon ay ang gumawa ng paraan upang magbreak sila nang hindi nagdududa at nabibigla si Lola Celestina. “We just need to follow the right breakup formula.” aniya. “What?” “Heated arguments plus jealousy and misunderstanding minus communication and time, idagdag pa ang mga babae mo. That will surely equal to break up.” Okay na sana lahat. Ang problema maling equation ata ang nasusunod ni Paris. Imbes kasi na magkalabuan lang sila ay nahuhulog pa siya sa binata! Oo nga pala, hindi siya magaling sa Math!

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT/R-18 Si Mildred Vergara, na mas kilala ng marami bilang Mild, ay isang happy-go-lucky at spoiled brat na tagapagmana ng Vergaras, isa sa pinakamayamang pamilya sa bansa. Lahat ng gusto niya ay madali niya lamang nakukuha; kung ano ang gusto niya ay kung ano ang napapasakaniya. Hanggang sa malaman niya ang nakakagulat na balita sa kanyang buhay: gusto ng kanyang mga magulang na ipakasal siya. Sa kagustuhan niyang madiskaril ang plano ng kanyang mga magulang, naisip niyang gumawa ng pinaka pinakamalokong desisyon na nagawa niya sa buhay niya. Nagpasya siyang puntahan ang kanyang dating kasintahan, na anim na taon niyang hindi nakikita o nakakausap, at humiling siya rito na magka-anak sila.

The De Leon's anual ball is coming, and Miranda's mom is hellbent on pursuing one of the De Leon's prided bachelors to be her son-in-law. Unfortunately, Miranda is her only daughter. Mayroon lamang siyang 0.1 poryentong tyansa na masungkit ang kahit isa sa mga anak ng Don. Lalo pa sa ugali ni Miranda na si-siga-siga at kilos lalaki. 'Sasakit lang ang ulo mo, Maman!' Gayunpaman, no one can deny an Isle their incredible beauty and slyness. Alam ni Miranda na naghihirap na ang kanilang pamilya ngunit para sa kaniya, hindi itong sapilitang daan ang sagot sa mga problema nila. "What?" bulalas ni Shanelle, "You'll—" "Steal." Ngumiti si Miranda. "Habang nagsasaya silang lahat, nanakawin ko ang maliit na parte ng yaman nila." Miranda expected Shanelle to be horrified. Surprisingly, the girl nodded. "Kung 'yon ang gusto mo." Somehow, Miranda felt that there's something wrong with her abrupt acceptance of her evil, well-thought plan. Ngunit hindi na iyon mahalaga. Kailangan niyang maghanda, sa maraming paraan.

Mistakes? I’ve made plenty. The biggest one? Falling head over heels for Brian Lockwood—my brother’s best friend and the captain of the school’s basketball team. For years, I lived in the shadow of my one wish: for him to see me as more than just Simon’s little sister. But how could he, with Lyla, his perfect girlfriend, glued to his side? Then everything changed. Lyla cheated, Brian’s heart shattered, and he was desperate for a distraction. That’s when he came to me with a deal—a no-strings-attached arrangement where we could give each other exactly what we wanted. I saw my chance. I thought I could make him fall in love with me. But I didn’t account for how messy things could get—how keeping it all a secret from Simon would twist everything. And when Brian crossed a line I couldn’t forgive, I knew it was time to let go of my high school crush. Fast forward three years. I’m over him. Or so I tell myself. Except now Brian’s back, no longer the heartbroken boy I knew but a leading basketball star with one goal: to win me over. I swore I wouldn’t fall for him again.

Astrid Naomi Wadler only loved one person. And that is Leviticus Galford. But after one unfortunate night she found out the real Leviticus Galford. Behind his handsome and innocent face there is hiding inside it. The man she adored and desire is a man who breaks the million hearts of the girls around him! But when she was about to forget Levi it was the time where the man always appear beside her...playing with her...tempting her...and trying to burn her. Will she ever survive the fire that Levi brought her? What if that fire slowly turned into something more precise?

“Dylan please wait, can you just try to love me?” Amelia asked, trying to hold the hem of Dylan's trouser. With a look of disdain, he kicked her hand away. Her last life string broke, the uncaring action from her best friend broke her that she lost all the will to live, blood dropped out of her mouth as her weak body slumped, lying lifeless on the ground. The only testament to the hard life she had was the lone tear that escaped her cold body … What other form of betrayal could Amelia experience than her best friend falling in love with her bully. Amelia was a plus sized girl who was despised by all including Valerie. The only person that constantly came to her rescue was Dylan and that made her secretly fall in love with him. Who wouldn't… Dylan is very intelligent and also a demigod. Amelia knew Dylan wanted a girl with hourglass shaped so she couldn't skip the enticement of Alura, the old witch who offered a perfect body in exchange for something secretive. Deal was done and the following session, Amelia resumed with a banging body that every man craved. But something was wrong, Dylan was not moved and in fact he actually liked her plus size… Amelia is now caught in between returning to her old self and choosing the new return student, Rowan.

si eunice ay nag iisang anak ng kanyang magulang simula nung anim na taon ito na aksidente ang kanyang ama at nabawian ng buhay. habang nagdadalaga ito ay para bang lumalaki itong laging kasama ang kaibigan kesa sa kanyang ina dahil hindi niya matanggap na mag aasawa ulit ang kanyang ina. na tatakot ito na baka mawalan na ng oras ang kanyang ina sa kanya. kaya minsan hindi sila mag kasundo, hanggang sa nag asawa muli ang kanyang ina at napaka swerte nito dahil ito ay isang bilyonaryo at business man, pero kahit mayaman ang kanyang magiging step dad hindi parin siya masaya o hindi niya parin ito matanggap. at lalo na ng nakilala niya ang step brother niya na anak sa unang asawa ng kanyang step dad. kilala ito bilang isang perfect son dahil yun ang tawag ng kanyang ama. pero sa likod ng maamo nitong muka ay may nakatago itong ibang pagkatao na malalaman ni eunice at hindi niya inaasahan na mahuhulog ang loob niya dito.