Best Roast Lines

My best friend was a "mistress breakup consultant". I had lent her money to start her business, and her very first job turned out to be breaking up my own marriage. "Jessie, what's the point of a loveless marriage? You've wasted Harold's time for five years. Are you really going to keep clinging to him and making him miserable for the rest of his life?" my best friend asked. I laughed at the self-righteous nonsense she was spouting and had security escort her out. She came right back, though, this time with a so-called "Anti-Mistress Alliance", live-streaming the chaos as they broke into my company. "The one who isn't loved is the real intruder!" "Fight for love at all costs!" They chanted while smashing up my office. I watched them calmly, waiting until they wore themselves out before pulling out a contract. "The 100,000 dollars you borrowed from me has been overdue for six months. If you don't repay it soon, I'll be forced to take legal action. "And, the lab equipment you've destroyed is valued at 5,550,000 dollars. You'll need to compensate me at full price. "Otherwise, I'll see you in court."

My best friend and I signed up for the Dual Marriage System so the cancer wouldn't kill me. She and I managed to steal the hearts of the Hopkin brothers. Naturally, we became in-laws. Seven years later, my husband's son told me I was dull and useless. Meanwhile, my best friend's husband slammed her behind bars for the sake of his old flame. When she was released, the last thing she told me was, "Live on." Then, she rushed into the oncoming traffic and was crushed into a pulp by a speeding truck.

"Sabihin na lang natin na pagod na ako sa paglalaro at nais kung tigilan na ito? Gusto kong mapalapit sa iyo dahil gusto kita. Nais kong malaman kung pareho ba tayo ng gusto o mali lang ang interpretasyon ko sa kilos mo?" "Hindi, tama ka," pag-amin niya. "Pero nitong hapon lamang ay sinabi mo na ako ay isang komplikasyon na hindi mo kailangan." "Over-analyzing is second nature to me. It’s helps me more often than I care to count. Ngunit hindi sa pagkakataong ito." "Parang hindi naman ganoon iyon," masuri niyang sinabi. "Marahil ay narealized mo lamang na walang magandang patutunguhan ang pakikipagrelasyon sa akin." "I don’t care about the future. Ang tanging mahalaga lamang ay kung ano ang narito at ang ngayon. " Humakbang siya patungo sa kanya, pagkatapos ay isa pa, hanggang sa halos malanghap na niya ang halimuyak ng kanyang balat. “Ano ang masasabi mo, Lara?" he asked hoarsely. "Handa ka bang makipagsapalaran sa akin?"

I was raised by my mother, a single parent who never revealed the identity of my father. For years, that part of my life remained a mystery until her final moments. With her last breath, she asked me to find him. I shared this with my best friend, who had never known her own parents. With tears in her eyes, she confided in me that she longed for a father, too. She tried to manipulate me, suggesting I work as a housekeeper for my father so she could claim him as her own. Soft-hearted, I agreed to the plan. When I finally met him, he was stunned. The resemblance between me and his first love was undeniable. He wanted to take me under his wing as his mistress. "Come to my room tonight and wear something… revealing," he said. To protect myself, I laid all my cards on the table.

"Let's just say I'm tired of playing games and want to quit this? I want to be close to you because I like you. I want to know if we both like each other or I just misinterpreted your actions?" "No, you're right," she admitted. "But just this afternoon you said I was a complication you didn't need." "Over-analyzing is second nature to me. It helps me more often than I care to count. But not this time." "It doesn't seem like that," she said deliberately. "Maybe you just realized that there is no good chance of success in a relationship with me." "I don't care about the future. The only thing that matters is what's here and what's now." He stepped towards her, then another, until he could almost inhale the scent of her skin. "What can you say, Lara?" He asked hoarsely. "Are you ready to take a risk with me?"

Kenneth's original intention is to take away Candy to save the marriage of Gabriel and Karen but during Candy's stay in his house, he eventually became attracted and fell in love to the beauty of Candy. Candy who has been hated Kenneth from the very first time that they met tried to hide her unwanted feeling for him. Fortunately, between hate and love relationship the two become one in union of marriage. However, Candy found out that Kenneth was just using her to finally inherit the company and he was planning to divorce her after two years when his ex-girlfriend, Camille Ramirez, came back from her career jouney. Another misfortune happened to Candy when one night after they returned from their honeymoon, she was rape right inside their matrimonial bedroom but the worst thing is, she didn't know who is the man in the dark. After all this misery and heartache could their true heart desire prevails?

The hotel called, politely reminding me that the condoms used last night were unpaid and had been charged to my membership card. I was stunned. I'd been working late until midnight and hadn't set foot in any hotel. I confronted my husband, the only person who knew my card code. Nathan Phelps looked at me, bewildered. "Honey, that hotel costs over $10,000 a night. I'd never go there. It's probably a system error. Someone must have mistyped the card number. I'll file a complaint tomorrow." Unconvinced, I called my best friend, who managed the hotel. "Tracy, check who Nathan was with at the hotel last night. I'm catching him red-handed."

My best friend has always been stingy to the bone, so the moment she volunteers to buy a bottle of water for the heir to Bellaris' most powerful family, who collapsed from heatstroke, I know she has been reborn, too. In my previous life, she and I sat for the college entrance exam together, and when the results were announced, we both got the same high score. Both of us had our eyes on Kingsley University, yet the admissions quota was limited, and neither of us wanted to jeopardize our friendship, so we kept delaying our application. In the blink of an eye, it was the last day to file our applications, and as I was about to start on mine, I stumbled upon the heir to Bellaris' most powerful family, who happened to be suffering from heatstroke. I not only bought him a bottle of water, but I also held an umbrella over him until he came to. By the time he regained consciousness, I had already missed the submission deadline. My best friend submitted hers just in time and got accepted into Kingsley University. Because I never submitted mine, the opportunity to attend university slipped past me. However, the heir apparent was touched by my act of kindness, and he asked for my hand in marriage. In the end, I married him and became a socialite, whereas my best friend, despite getting into Kingsley University, was overwhelmed by the demanding curriculum. Watching me live with more money than I could spend, she was fueled with jealousy until one day, she snapped and stabbed me. The moment I open my eyes again, my best friend and I are back on the day the heir to Bellaris' most powerful family passes out from the heat.

My boyfriend and I had been together for eight years. We were already discussing marriage when Robbie suddenly asked me to wait a little longer. He said he needed to hold a grand wedding with his first love before he could marry me. Because, as he explained, for his first love—who struggled with anxiety—marriage was her greatest wish in life. He couldn't bear to see her spiral into self-harm under the weight of her illness, so with tears in his eyes, he promised to give her a home. Stunned, I asked what would happen to me. Instead of answering, he snapped impatiently, "Can't you show some empathy? It's just a year or two more. Are you really that desperate to get married? "And another thing… lend me your ring. Let Lucy wear it for now. You won't be needing it anytime soon." I stared at the man before me, someone both familiar and suddenly a stranger, and felt only a cold, hollow ache in my chest. But at last, I saw his true face behind the mask. Later, I chose to attend their wedding. I brought with me a very special blessing.

When I saw my best friend tending to the elderly man upstairs with such diligence in washing his clothes, cooking his meals, feeding him medicine, and giving him massages, I immediately knew that she had been reborn, too. In my previous life, my best friend and I shared an apartment. We were often awakened in the middle of the night by the old man’s cough from upstairs. When I went up to check on him, I learned that his legs were paralyzed, and he had no children or family. Out of sympathy, I decided to care for him. I brought him his daily meals and gave him massages. A month later, out of the blue, the old man mysteriously handed me a bank card and said, “There’s eight million here. It’s my reward to you.” With that money, I immediately went and paid off my father’s medical bills. Later, the old man went even further and transferred the ownership of the apartment that we were renting to me. He told me, “When your father is discharged, move in together. That way, I’ll have someone to keep me company, too!” When my best friend learned of this, however, she went ballistic. During the few days I was having trouble sleeping, she had secretly spiked my water with a lethal dose of sleeping pills. She watched as I died in agony. After my death, my boyfriend, posing as my fiancé, cut off my father’s medical bills and took away the old man’s bank card. Meanwhile, my best friend spread slanderous rumors among the neighbors, claiming the old man gave me money because I had sold myself to him. Half a year later, the two got married and paid in full for a luxury apartment in the city centre. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on that very day when the old man upstairs was coughing uncontrollably.