Asking for teen romance that digs into first love and figuring yourself out takes me right back to my high school library days. A lot of books slap the 'self-discovery' label on, but the ones that stick make the personal journey feel earned, not just a byproduct of the relationship. My top pick is 'I'll Give You the Sun' by Jandy Nelson—it's a dual narrative between twins, and the romantic elements are tangled up with grief, art, and family secrets in a way that feels huge and messy and real. The first love here is as much about falling for a person as it is about the characters confronting who they are.
Another that handles the 'self-discovery' angle with a lighter, more awkward touch is 'Today Tonight Tomorrow' by Rachel Lynn Solomon. It's set over a single day during a senior-year scavenger hunt rivalry, and the banter is fantastic. The romance pushes the main character to question her tightly-held plans for the future, which is a kind of self-discovery that really resonates for that age. For something quieter and more interior, 'The Poet X' by Elizabeth Acevedo uses verse to explore first love alongside the crushing weight of parental expectation and finding your own voice. It's not a traditional romance novel structure, but the romantic thread is vital to the protagonist's awakening.
Honestly, I'd steer clear of books where the self-discovery feels like a checklist. The best ones let the two themes braid together until you can't pull them apart.