Best Your Mom Jokes Novels & Stories

Three months after my baby was born, I found out my husband, Joe, was cheating. The other woman? Hailey. Pregnant and smug. Joe actually got on his knees, begging for a divorce. I said yes. Until I could find a place, Joe's mom, Claudia, let me stay at the house. "Hailey," Claudia said, "you'll handle all the household responsibilities now." Hailey, all fake enthusiasm, chirped, "I'll take good care of this family!" Claudia replied, "Great. You'll start your day at five making breakfast. When Luca's hungry, you'll feed him and change his diapers. Once he's down for a nap, clean the house, grocery shop, and prep lunch. Laundry in the afternoon, tea service mid-day, then bathe Luca and cook dinner. After that, you'll put him to bed." Hailey's face? Priceless.

I married Emory, my fated mate. But he never loved me. His first love, Ophelia, was stricken with the Lunar Blight. Her dying wish, she said, was to have a mating ceremony with Emory, to become his Luna. I refused. From that day on, to Emory and our son Leo, I was nothing but a selfish, cruel woman. Leo would intentionally feed me things I was allergic to. He’d pretend to get lost during the winter hunt, leaving me to search for him in a blizzard for a day and a night until I nearly died… It was all to keep me from disturbing Emory and Ophelia. So when he started crying and throwing a tantrum, demanding I go catch him a Silver-Frost Rabbit from the dangerous depths of the forest at night, I finally said no. “You don’t have to keep making me sick anymore,” I told him. “I won’t bother your father and Ophelia again.” Because I’m terminally ill. My wolf is fading. I’m going to die soon.

Running late for work, I had no choice but to call an Uber. As luck would have it, my boss turned out to be my Uber driver. We stared at each other awkwardly. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Let me guess... running late?" Me: ... Later, he docked my pay. I gave him a one-star review.

"You have to remember one thing, I'll never let go of someone who stole something from me, and you're so sassy stealing my kiss. Naomi ... I think you in trouble right now." (*) Starting from a mistake one night, leading Naomi to an affair scandal with an American businessman who was her ice skating club sponsor. Then, after learning that the man was betrothed by his parents and planning to get married soon, Naomi realizes her relationship with Enrico is no longer just a sex partner. Enrico can't undo his matchmaking with Eve because he doesn't want to disappoint his parents, but he also doesn't want to lose Naomi. The woman he recently realized was someone he loved. When Naomi finally decides to leave his life on his wedding day with Eve, how does their story end?

Every she-wolf in Crescent Ridge knew the Nightwood name. Lola did not. She grew up in the pack orphanage with no bloodline sponsor, no rich family background, no seat among the pack’s royalties. Some wolves were born into power. Others had to fight for every inch. Lola fought. She worked day and night, building something out of nothing until the Moon Goddess finally blessed her with a fated mate—Alpha Tristain Herdez. He was Powerful, respected, desired by every she-wolf. Five years after their wedding, their house was still empty. The pack physician revealed the truth: Tristain could never father a child. Lola kept his secret and buried herself in work, building a company that all of Texas admired. Then she collapsed during a press conference. Stage four cancer. Less than a year to live. While she prepared to leave a legacy behind, Tristain returned home one day with a newborn, claiming the baby was abandoned at the pack gate. But the child had Tristain’s face and her best friend’s eyes. And Lola was running out of time to uncover the truth.

Nadia Thompson had been in a high-profile, five-year relationship with Harry Jones, the kind everyone in Highport City’s upper social circle knew about. On the day they were supposed to get married and register their marriage, she got ditched. Nadia had enough. She swore a vicious oath, walked away, and turned her fiance into her ex-boyfriend. After one phone call from a certain someone, she got married on impulse. She registered her marriage with Julian Jones, Harry's older brother, despite them not getting along well. Julian was a well-known heir in Highport City’s upper social circle and a terrifying financial shark who built his own empire overseas. After they married, he spoiled Nadia and indulged her in everything. When Harry humiliated Nadia and called her worthless, Julian sent him crashing straight to the floor. "My wife's the apple of my eye, the one I hold the dearest. No matter how she is, I will spoil her. If you say one more word about her, I can get your name erased from the Jones family records!" Only much later did Nadia learn that the man she used to fear had loved her in secret for a decade, and that their marriage was part of a plan he laid long ago…

When love is shared but not equally given, how much pain can a heart endure? Andrea Velasco thought she had the perfect marriage—devoted husband, beautiful home, and a quiet life built on trust. But her world shatters when a single message exposes a truth she never imagined: her husband, Gabriel Reyes, is not just hers. He's also married to Celina Dela Cruz, a younger woman in a different city who believes she is the only Mrs. Reyes. As Andrea and Celina’s lives collide, secrets unravel and tempers rise. But amidst the betrayal lies a deeper question: Who truly owns the right to love, to forgiveness, and to walk away?

Olivia Holton used to have a secret crush on her brothers bestfriend, that is until he changed. Once they had gotten into high-school his entire personality changed. He forgot that he used to wear braces, and was a nerd before working out two summers ago constantly. He worked out until he was built like a god, got rid of the braces and suddenly popular girls were falling at his feet. It also doesn't hurt when he wears that black leather jacket, has brown shaggy hair and dark green hazel eyes. Jesus the boy is gorgeous but she couldn't can't stand him now. Her secret crushed faded when she realized it was never going to happen with Sean Walker. She gave up on getting her brothers best friend to notice her a long time ago and she wants to move on. She needs to move on but as soon as she started dating a boy, Sean had problems with it.

“Please, Mr. Kaiden, this is enough,” I begged, forcing my voice and face to look weak, almost tearful. “I’m not done.” I stared at him in disbelief. This man was insane. What more did he want than this? One kiss was not a big deal, but what we were doing was still betrayal. On both sides. “Both of us? You and I are cheating…” He cut me off, rolling his eyes with boredom. “It doesn’t matter who gets hurt as long as we both enjoy what we’re doing. When you’re with me, don’t think about anyone else.” “That’s not easy for someone getting married in two months.” “And what about someone who got married a month ago?” After I said that, he spoke words that hit me like lightning. “Married a month ago.” “A month and a half, to be more precise.” Damn it. I wish I had even a little of his cold calm. “It was like the first day of my honeymoon was yours. I played for you that day.” I froze. “Do you mean you left your wife sleeping on the very first day of your honeymoon… and went out to play music for a girl on the beach?” “Exactly.” ************************×************************ Tara Blackwood never thought her quiet life would turn upside down because of one man. A forbidden man. Kaiden Draven. A powerful lawyer. Her father’s closest friend. Married. A man older than her, dangerous enough to tear down every rule she had lived by. Caught between an engagement that suffocates her and a marriage bound with no love, Tara stands on the edge of a choice that could destroy everyone… or save her heart. So can she resist a man she should never want?

After being married to Caden Lancaster for seven years, I find a diamond ear stud that doesn't belong to me in his suit pocket for the first time. What's more, I haven't worn jewelry in a long time. I calmly place the stud on the dining table in the living room and wait for Caden to come back with our son, Felix Lancaster. As soon as Felix walks in, he spots the sparkling stud and says with disdain, "Mom, you're wasting money again." I hold back the urge to hit him. I ignore him and shift my gaze to Caden, who is standing behind him. "Explain yourself. Whose earring is this?" I say coolly. Caden doesn't speak. He stands there as if he is frozen in place. His handsome features stiffen. Seeing the scene, Felix suddenly bursts into laughter. "Dad, did you find me a new mom? That's great!" My six-year-old son imitates the mocking tone he heard from short videos and shouts at me, "Having a plain Jane mom like you is so embarrassing! Get out of my house! This looks like Ms. Sulvan's earring. That's great! I want her to be my mom. She's pretty, gentle, and she really likes Dad." Every word cuts deeply into my heart. Upon hearing this, Caden loosens his clenched fist. He takes two shoehorns from the cabinet behind him and smacks Felix on the head. He hands both of them to me and asks in a low, grim voice, "Which one do you want, honey? The wider one or the thinner one?"