Best Your Mom Jokes Novels & Stories

At the beginning of a new year, I stay at the hospital to take care of my mother-in-law on my own. My wife, Yelena Lipton, on the other hand, is on a vacation with her first love, Phillip Warren, in a tropical island overseas. Funnily enough, I'm the last one who finds out about her impending marriage with Phillip. When my mother-in-law hears about the news, her condition deteriorates to the point she gets sent into the treatment room immediately. I have to call Yelena over a dozen times for her to finally pick up the call. "Do you have a death wish or something? Why did you bombard me with calls? I'm in the middle of something right now, so leave me alone!" After that, Yelena ends the call. Since then, I keep failing to get in contact with her. During that time, my mother-in-law has passed away from the treatment failure. When I'm done organizing the funeral, I send Yelena a divorce agreement right away. "Have you gone nuts? It's just an announcement to cheer Phillip up! Are you seriously going to file a divorce from me?" After hearing Yelena's accusations, I reply calmly, "Mom's dead. I've already dealt with everything concerning her passing. You should come back and visit her grave."

Age is just a number. Or at least that's what Maxwell Cooper thinks whenever he hits on his best friend's mother, Amanda, who is very much divorced and extremely attractive in his eyes. Amanda, highly aware of the obvious infatuation that Maxwell has on her, tries to avoid his advances towards her given their conflicting age differences. She speculates that Maxwell's attraction towards older women is deeply rooted to fact that he might just have some 'Mommy issues'. Maxwell refutes the hypothesis by claiming that he's only attracted to her , not older women in general. Both are put to the test when Amanda , returning from yet another failed date one night, runs into Maxwell who notices the tears in her eyes and proceeds to comfort her. This leads to her inviting her to her house which would be a convenient move seeing as Zac, Maxwell's best friend and Amanda's son, had gone to visit his father in New York for the weekend, leaving her alone for the weekend. They end up sharing a bottle of wine, getting drunk while reminiscing on the simpler days. A kiss is shared during the vulnerable moment between these two, which would lead to regrets and broken friendships.

Brianna Quinn's life has been lonely untill she adopts 4 kids from the streets, becomes their mom giving them a better life. Throw in a handsome billionaire who takes a liking in the mom and her kids leading to a beautiful romance that touches the heart. Find out how Brianna's relationship with her kids grow. Everyone wants a beautiful family. Find out how humanity still exists in the life we live today. And a beautiful romance between two lonely people who become proud parents of 4 if not more😊

My boyfriend's "best female friend" was angry again. Why? Because for our five-year anniversary, he got a gift just for me—and forgot about hers. Simone Baker threw a complete fit, sobbing and making a huge scene. Scott Tanner immediately blocked me and removed me on Instagram, then changed our matching couple profile pictures. "Girls can be so dramatic," he said. "Once I've calmed her down, we'll switch them back." I reminded him, "That makes a hundred times now." He just smiled and gave me a quick kiss. "I know. I'll make it fast this time." That night, Simone posted a status update: [Your effort was acceptable. You get three days of freedom.] Almost immediately, Scott unblocked me. [Okay, babe. We can put our couple pictures back now.] But then a male account—using my half of the matching photo—sent him a friend request, followed by a single question mark. [Since when are couple photos a group project?]

At twenty, she had one reckless night with the Beta who always looked at her like she was trouble. By morning, he was gone. He left more than silence behind. Two years later, she’s raising their daughter alone — strong, proud, and over him. Then he comes back. Not as Beta. As Alpha. And he wants what he didn’t stay for.

My mother is hospitalized due to a terminal illness. She's in urgent need of a kidney transplant to save her life. I'm the only one who can perform the surgery, but I give the kidney to a stranger. My father and husband get on their knees before me on the day of the surgery. They beg me to save my mother. However, I shrug and say, "I can't do anything about this. A life is a life, regardless of who the person is. This is what she gets for coming late—death is waiting for her."

At my own wedding, the groom switched—Malcolm Lowell bailed, and the best man stepped in. Lumi, the Irving's real daughter, latched onto Malcolm's arm and smirked from the crowd. "I was just feeling a little low," she said. "Didn't think Malcolm would go this far for me." Malcolm raised a brow. "I just wanted to make her happy. You took her spot for years. Time to pay it back. This is for your own good." That's when it hit me—this whole wedding was a setup, a twisted show just to entertain Lumi. All because I was the adopted one. I'd lived in her place for over two decades. I didn't cry. Didn't freak out. I just took the new groom's hand, faced the priest, and said, "Keep going."

I've just left the washroom when Vanessa Shallow, who has just returned from her maternity leave, covers her mouth as she laughs at me. "Wow, you really are quick when it comes to bathroom breaks, huh? No wonder your sales performance is increasing by leaps and bounds! I suppose it's all thanks to your ability to take off your pants very quickly!" Vanessa acts as though she's joking as she starts making faces at the male colleagues around us. "Right, I forgot how prideful young ladies are nowadays! They can't seem to accept such truths when spoken in such a blunt manner!" The colleagues burst out laughing in a lecherous way afterward. Their perverted gazes keep clinging to my legs the whole time. As I stare at Vanessa's slightly bloated face, my gaze grows cold. It seems that she's so anxious to get her position as the project leader back that she's willing to shed even her sense of shame and propriety. I take a step forward and speak up. "I'm not as skilled as you are when it comes to such things, Vanessa. After all, not everyone is capable of making Mr. Studdard visit their home every midnight during their maternity leave." As soon as my words fall, the previously rowdy office goes deathly silent.

On my daughter’s birthday, I showed up at her after-school program unannounced to surprise her. When I mentioned to the instructor that I was Maddie’s parent, she furrowed her brows. “Are you saying that you’re Maddie’s mother?” I nodded, feeling a little displeased. Though her father, Matthew Rowe handled the drop-offs and pick-ups, the instructor had no business giving me an attitude. Nevertheless, the instructor promised to bring Maddie out right away with a huge grin. As she turned away, I decided not to make a big fuss out of the matter. The next minute, the instructor emerged with two burly men. “That’s her! She’s here to abduct one of the kids!”

When I came home for break, my mom, Evonne Ziegler, took me to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a big Thanksgiving dinner. As soon as we got there, she asked me what I wanted to eat. I picked up a pack of salmon and dropped it into the cart, but she immediately took it back out. "Salmon has radiation contamination now. You can't eat that." I glanced at the rotisserie chicken instead, but I was still turned down. "Chicken is full of growth hormones. They grow them in a week now. You'll get sick eating that." Apparently, everything was off-limits, so I lost interest and stopped talking. I figured I'd just let her buy whatever she wanted. But that upset her too. "I specifically brought you to the store. If you want something, just say it. Now you're just being silent. How am I supposed to know what you like?" Not wanting to ruin the mood, I casually pointed at some peaches nearby. "I like peaches. Let's get some." "We already have peaches at home. Don't buy any. You won't even eat them." On the drive back, Mom suddenly sighed. "You're so hard to please. We basically came out here for nothing." The moment I heard that, I suddenly thought this whole thing was pointless.