Chicken Cross The Road Jokes

"You're killing him!" The old hag by the side of the road suddenly cried, glaring at me. "That poor boy! You only ruin what you touch, you abomination. You beast! Set him free!" *** Sex was all that mattered to Cyrus. Sex. Alcohol. Women. Sex. after all, that pleasure, lust and passion was all that mattered to a descendant of the god of lust. He just had to live up to the name. But when one little invisible mouse stepped into his vision, he was suddenly all Cyrus could see. A little game, he said. "Tease the obvious virgin boy," he planned. "Push him hard, press his buttons." something's wrong. The god of lust can't get it up anymore. Not for anyone who is not Damian Cross. Book 1 of Descendants of Lust

Hansel is a name feared amongst many in the werewolf world, his ruthlessness and power was unmatched and no one dared to cross him. His life changes drastically when he meets Elle, a Witch. There was nothing special about her yet the Alpha craved her. Had the Witch bewitched him or perhaps, were there hidden secrets to be unravelled?

When a billionaire banker Ares Winter sets his sights on a brilliant business woman he will stop at nothing to ensure she knows how much he wants her. Magda Onassis however is ready to be a billionaire in her own right and doing business with the banking mogul has her fearing mixing business with pleasure is a one-way road to disaster. Magda might be the quiet, sweet, girl-next-door type of woman but she has pride of her own and she isn't going to simply give in to his demands to be his woman. Ares is confident once she gives in to him, she will see what he sees, they are meant to be together. Nothing is ever easy though and money doesn't buy everything. As the couple navigates a new relationship, crazy exes and crazier family, they learn love can conquer all.

After her husband divorce her, Tanya decides to hide her pregnancy from him. But four years later, when their paths cross again, he is now the rude and powerful CEO of the Aragon Corporation. And he wants her back. Will she let herself fall for the man who broke her heart and trust before? Or will it be the other way around?

The carnivorous ways of the Aswang leave little room for love - much less a forbidden one between a queen and human girl. Little did Aswang Queen Catarina know, soon, her life would be changed by a plucky American biologist. A blue eyed, blonde adventurer, Rose Smith from California, who would make Catarina question all she knew, and want to make a human Her Aswang Woman King. ___ Catarina Rosales Marquez, 26, is the Aswang Queen of the Domminga Mountains, but she abhors eating humans. She has genetically engineered the fruits of her goddess Ikapati to produce human proteins in order to bring peace to Mindanao - but the Aswang do not trust this revolutionary, peaceful Queen - and are wary of the American biologist she has taken under her wing. Rose Smith is a German-American biologist doing her dissertation on the elusive, endangered Phillippines Eagle. Having studied the Tarsier in her undergraduate semester abroad in Manila, she fell in love with chicken adobo, pandesal - and Filipina women. Eager to be the first American biologist to do a longitudinal study of the Phillipines Eagle, she sets out into the Domminga Mountains on a bus with a one-way ticket - not afraid of the local's warnings of the rabid Iktapati Aswang Clan that eats humans, and roving bands of Tikbalang werehorses that stampede trespassers to death. When Catarina and Rose collide, it is oil and flame. Catarina, expected to marry a King, finds herself questioning the very cosmos of relationships - can she take a Queen, and a feisty American grad student at that? And can Rose come to terms with the elusive, seductive courts of the Vampiric Aswang? When the Iktapati clan rebels, the Tikbalang war, and the wind spirits coquette, Rose and Catarina must team up to save the humans of Mindanao - and the Phillipines eagle!

A billionaire heir is forced by his grandfather into agreeing to marry the daughter of his employee, Celine. Celine also doesn't have any options than agreeing to the marriage. The duo set off on a wrong foot and they find it hard to get along...... there's a lots of hurdles to cross before they finally reach their happily ever after...

Vinca's life had turned into a nightmare. She was in utter pain, not remembering where she was or what had happened to her as her mind was blank and shrouded in darkness. Instincts told her that she needed to fight for her life. To survive and remember was her immediate goal. With time, she came to the realization that somebody wanted her dead and forgotten. Frost, also known as the Ice King, is as cold and aloof as his name suggests. An unrelenting man in his 30s, his life changes completely when he rescues a damsel in distress who slowly thaws his heart, turning him into a possessive lover on the road to seek revenge for his Sweet Pink. Love, mistrust and bittersweet revenge are intertwined in this romantic story of two broken hearts that are destined to stand the test of time as they wrap themselves in a healing process, but will they have their happily ever after?

Married besties. A rocky road to parenthood. Is their tight-knit group headed for a passionate collision?Taylor Taft is ready to make big changes. After breaking free from an abusive relationship, the twenty-something has finally sworn off bad boys. So the selfless party girl leaps at the chance to do some good when her best friends beg her to act as their surrogate.Fully committed to her beloved pals, Taylor stubbornly tackles all the medical, financial, and personal hurdles head-on. But with tempting fantasies swirling about the father of the child she’s carrying, she wonders if she’s made a terrible mistake.Will this baby destroy their inseparable bond or become their lifelong forever?Contains: explicit sex scenes, memories of abuse and assaultSuggested Age 18+Third Wheel is created by Haley Rhoades, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Pregnant with Grayson Godwin's child, Amberleigh Dubois is left reeling from the shock of his dramatic rescue and all the dark secrets it brought to light. Grayson Godwin is an angry man, hellbent on a mission to bring down those responsible for his beloved brother's death. His best friend Leo Clemonte is hellbent to keep the billionaire from an even earlier grave as Grayson goes down a dark road of vengeance. Further complicating matters, is Amber's growing feelings for Grayson even though her heart now belongs to Leo. Amber will have to make a choice between two men she loves. That is if any of them even survive this deadly game they are playing with the Van Tessins. Life's not a fairytale, it's time for Amber to arm up and fight for her happy ending.

My husband and I take leave from work to travel to Highland. It's also an opportunity for me to return to my hometown. Unexpectedly, we get into a fight over the itinerary on our first day there. I snap at him when we're standing by the side of the road, but he calms me down. He even coaxes me and offers to pay for a nice meal at a restaurant. When I return to the hotel, I discover that he's run off with my luggage and mobile phone. He even leaves a message telling me to reflect on my mistakes. I borrow a phone to call him, but he doesn't answer. It's freezing in Highland. I'm almost about to die from the frost when I suddenly see sense. I'm not putting up with this anymore!