Clean Jokes For Adults

My life had never been more miserable until the day I witnessed my stepsister, Elise, getting married to my boyfriend, Miguel Hernandez - on the very same day I assisted a homeless-looking man. To make matters worse, I had to offer myself as property of El Diablo, the most ruthless mafia lord in the city, to save my father's life. After being auctioned off by El Diablo, I discovered that my new master was the homeless man I assisted - Gabriel, who also happened to be Elise's ex-boyfriend and Miguel's sworn rival. As the saying goes, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” and I didn't just find a friend in Gabriel, but also a contract husband. However, I had a probation period of two months to fully become a property of Gabriel else, I would be returned to El Diablo. What happens when the probation period is over and feelings start to creep in? Will Gabriel still regard me as a worthy candidate for the contract marriage?

“Dreaming is easy. I can dream while I'm sleeping or whenever I want to. But the process of turning that dream into reality, that's the hardest part.”----------------Growing up with a family of politicians, Celeste Louisse firmly believes that she should always be on top. With that in mind, when she entered Avalon High, she already set her eyes to the price- to be a part of The Rank Five. Together with her friends: Kelly, Ashanti and Clio, they immediately rose to stardom when they won the title. Everything is going as smoothly as they planned... but not until the four boys came to take their spots.

"What is your biggest fear?" a friend casually asked as the tip of the bottle stopped at my direction. I smiled bitterly as I threw my head back, "Be forgotten..." I paused for a while bago lumingon sa kinaroroonan nang dating asawa. "By the man I love the most." It is so easy to create memories but the moment a person decided to forget about it, everything will be useless. And that's what I fear the most.

Emily Tamara Jacobs had always had a thing for black-eyed men. When one came in form of her boss, Emily knew she had to watch her back. Emily, a professional nanny had just landed a job to work with William Blakes, the powerful billionaire whom everyone was terrified of. She was warned against working for the dangerous billionaire but she heard none of it as she dived head straight into doing exactly what she had been warned against. Taking care of the billionaire's daughter proved more difficult than she thought it would and when she started to fantasize about the black-eyed man, Emily would do anything to keep herself from falling for him all to no avail. Just as they are getting to a good place, an enemy from the past showed up to put a stop to the lovey-dovey relationship going on, implicating Emily in the worst of ways. Would they be able to put aside their differences and fight for what they truly want or would they allow themselves to be weighed down by it?

Lei is a modern woman who’s in need of so much money. Why? Because she wants money. Not to buy clothes she needs. Not to get a house nor a car. Just… money. She works at a fine night bar where she dances and entertains guests. But would you believe that Lei is still a virgin? She is. A twenty-one year old girl who entered the dark side of life at a very young age just because she wants to be rich. Almost five years of being a dancer, she’s still not satisfied. Until she met a rich man at the bar who offered her an agreement to pay her double salary just to have sex with him regularly without the expectation of a romantic relationship. His fuck buddy.

I breathe heavily as he pins me to the wall, his hands wrapped tight around my throat I could barely breathe. ‘You hear me, Sera? I found you first. I noticed you first! I fell for you first. No one else, I mean, no one should put their hands on you, because if they do, I swear to God, Sera, I'll fucking break their arms and legs and serve it to you to eat!’ He growls. Seraphina Puckett is the perfect definition of trauma. A walking trauma. She tries to navigate her life, trying to bring in sunshine but as the world is determined to make it rain on her, what does she do? Does she get beaten in the rain or walk through it? When her abusive father gets out of prison and is out to get her, how does she face her fear?

His hands covered her boobs and she began to tremble. “You are so beautiful." Knox said with his eyes on her just studying her body. "Knox...I think we...shouldn't...” Eretia paused. "Do you want me to stop?" Knox asked. Eretia stared at him. Her nipples going hard and her belly quivering. "Why do...you want...to do this?" “I want you to have a desire to comeback here when you return to your world." Knox answered with sincerity in his tone. “But—“ He brushed his mouth against hers cutting off her intended words. His hands gently cupping her breasts. “This is your first right? Or am I wrong?" He asked amidst kisses. “No...no...I haven't...done it with anyone.” Eretia stuttered. “Same here." Knox coaxed. Meet Knox Martins, a billionaire and who also happens to be a big time celebrity. You see, Knox Martins is stone-headed and cold-hearted. He hates to hear the word “love.” He despises his mother for just one reason - he believes that she killed his father even though he had crashed in a plane that had killed a thousand of people. Eretia, a mermaid, a lady of the ocean who has special singing powers that is enough to hear the words of the sea. She washes up to the shore of a sea, injured and alone - far away from home. She is found by a young surgeon who is kind enough to bring her into his home. And soon enough, Knox Martins meets Eretia who happens to be a hired maid by his mom after she makes a deal to reconcile both mother and son. Will the relationship between the earth and the sea ever get the chance to bloom? Or will it whither away when they are apart in their separate worlds.

“I married you only because you got pregnant with my child, do not expect more from me.” -Him “Hanggang kailan ba ako magmamakaawang mahalin mo?” -Her ******* She was eighteen when she gave up her dignity and asked him to sleep with her, but he refused, humiliated her and broke her heart into two. She was twenty-five when she learned that he was getting married to her best friend, she felt betrayed and it broke her into pieces. Ruby Rose only loved one man her whole life, she admired him since she was young and not long after, it bloomed into love. She loved him to the point of destruction. She will do everything for him to open his heart for her. But will he ever reciprocate her feelings or will she always be begging for his love?

Rose, is a young girl destined to be the first female Alpha and is the daughter of the current Alpha, Marcus. In her community, it is believed that people will find their mates and get claimed on their 18th birthday. However, things take a devastating turn for Rose when her boyfriend, Brandon, claims Mia as his mate, leaving Rose heartbroken. In her grief, Rose begins engaging in reckless behavior, leading to her losing her virginity to a stranger while drunk. When the time comes for her mate to claim her, Luke, the Alpha of a neighboring pack, claims Rose as his mate, leading to a catastrophe as Rose hates Luke. On her wedding eve, she's announced pregnant and caught in a mess when she is currently mated to her mate, Luke, in a scandal with her ex-boyfriend, Brandon, and a one night stand with the stranger, hottie. As Rose struggles to untangle the web of lies and deceit surrounding her, she realizes that her fate and the fate of her unborn child may be in grave danger. With time running out and enemies closing in, Rose must make a difficult decision that will change the course of her life forever. Will she be able to find a way out of this mess, or will she be trapped in a never-ending cycle of heartache and betrayal?

Tessa Hearst, the Luna of Silvermoon Pack, has no reason to wake up one morning, showing pregnancy symptoms and realizing she's a few weeks pregnant. Her mate is impotent and she never cheated on him, so why is she pregnant? Her unexplainable ordeal stirs up an endless trail of rumors and she gets rejected and almost killed. Five years later, she returns to the pack as a renowned doctor, with triplet sons that have a striking resemblance to her ex-mate. Strange, but Tessa wasn't giving a fuck anymore. She was gonna make him pay for the pain he put her through. But what happens when her boys have other plans, like reuniting with their father? What happens when a pandemic breaks out and she's forced to work together with the man that once made her heart skip? What happens when she's caught in the crossroad of revenge and a second chance to their love story? Will sparks fly again or will it be the beginning of her revenge? Join Tessa on her turbulent journey for revenge, second chance love, and trying to be the best mother for her mischievous boys.