Novel & Cerita Crazy Pick Up Lines

"Whose illegitimate child are you pregnant with?" My parents demand to know, looking crazed. They want to know whose child I'm carrying. I look at them and laugh. "One of the kidnappers, of course." My parents and brother are stunned, and they turn ashen. I continue softly, "Don't you guys remember? The kidnappers asked for a ransom, but you guys were only willing to save your other daughter. You wanted to teach me a lesson." Mom collapses on the couch. "That can't be. We wanted to teach you a lesson so you would stop bullying Eden. I didn't… We didn't…" I crouch before her. "You guys never expected the kidnappers to violate me, right?" I don't wait for an answer. "Do you think a few kidnappers would have morals and ethics?" She parts her lips to speak, but I don't give her the chance. "I was covered in injuries when I got home. Why didn't any of you ask me about them? "You guys took Eden away without bothering to save me. You didn't return for a day, for two days, for a month… Did you think the kidnappers would think that they could still receive the ransom?" They should be happy now—I'm about to die.

To scrape together enough money for tickets home on New Year’s Eve, I took on a part-time job and accidentally entered a livestream where money was being thrown around. The boy on screen had fair skin and wore a high-end knit sweater, with a luxuriously decorated villa behind him. “It’s too boring being kept here. My sugar mommy gives me more money than I can spend. Let’s do some giveaways.” Excited, I grabbed several large cash drops in a row. The money for my girlfriend’s and my tickets was almost enough. Then the boy suddenly leaned close to the camera. “She keeps saying the tear mole under my eye looks like her boyfriend’s. What bad luck, sharing the same feature as some poor loser.” My fingers trembled. I had a tear mole in the exact same spot. A comment floated by: [How could a sugar mommy’s boyfriend be poor?] The boy sneered, running a hand through his hair. “She’s just playing around. Told him she’s a million in debt, and he’s dumb enough to work and help her pay it off.” My heart went cold. My girlfriend was also supposedly a million in debt. “The funniest part is, she just spent three days with me. When she left, I asked if she still had the energy to go be with him. “She said as long as she tells him she’s going to wash dishes at a barbecue place, that idiot will feel bad and go deliver food to make some extra money overnight.” Another big cash drop came in. I had enough now. My phone rang. Wren’s voice sounded tired as she said, “Aran, the ticket money isn’t enough… I made a little over two hundred dollars washing dishes. I’ll head home now.”

My younger sister, Sophia Ashford, got pregnant before marriage. To protect her reputation before marrying into a wealthy family, she abandoned the baby at our doorstep after giving birth. Our parents, Owen and Julia Ashford, begged me to adopt the child, Tom Ashford. Seeing how pitiful he was, I agreed. Raising Tom consumed nearly all my time and energy. I lost my original job and ended up washing dishes and carrying trays, juggling three jobs on my own just to survive. When Tom grew up and was accepted into a top university, Sophia suddenly returned, crying and accusing me of stealing her child. She had successfully married into a wealthy family and lived happily with her CEO husband, Sebastian Langford, for years. Now, she wanted Tom, who had already grown into someone accomplished, back. "She was the one who stole my baby! I finally found you, my precious child! Your CEO father is rewarding you with a million dollars for getting into university. Work hard and inherit the family business in the future!" Just like that, the son I had raised for over a decade threw himself into her arms without hesitation and cut off all ties with me. The situation spiraled out of control. Our parents were ashamed of me and kicked me out of the house. To prove my innocence, I drove to the police station to retrieve surveillance footage from back then, but I died in a car accident on the way. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day I discovered the abandoned baby. This time, I didn’t hesitate. I called the police immediately.

After our parents passed away, two couples approached Serena and me at the same time, both wishing to adopt us. Serena dashed ahead, rushing toward the impoverished couple before I could move. “Hill, I’ll let you have the wealthy family,” she said, looking at me with a sweet smile. “I only care about your happiness.” However, I could hear her inner thoughts perfectly clear. She was privately gloating, telling me to enjoy being used as a mere tool for a business marriage, trapped inside a mansion for the rest of my life. That was when I knew—she had been reborn too. In our past life, Serena had been the one to rush toward the luxury cars, successfully becoming the pampered daughter of a wealthy family. Yet, she couldn’t handle their strict rules and discipline. She ended up sneaking out at night to wild out at bars, accidentally leaked classified family secrets, and was ultimately kicked out of the house. Meanwhile, I relied entirely on my own hard work to study abroad, eventually becoming a world-renowned scientific genius. On the day I was set to receive my grand award, Serena completely lost her mind. She stormed the stage and drove a knife straight into my body. “Why do you get to live such a free and successful life?!” she screamed. As she wished, we were both given a second chance to choose. Without a shred of hesitation, I turned around and stepped straight into the luxury car. She had no idea that without money, true freedom didn’t even exist. And this wealthy family? They were nothing more than my stepping stone in this life.

After getting laid off, I come across a post when I'm looking for a new job. "What sort of job is the most lucrative these days?" There's a comment with the most likes in the comment section. "Find yourself a sugar daddy, duh! My sugar daddy is already the CEO of a company even though he's only in his 30s! He gives me 100 thousand dollars every month. Not only is he handsome and caring, but he's also amazing in bed! Hoo boy, we can keep going around seven times every night!" Someone asks the commentor, "How did you find such an amazing daddy?" "Last May, he was at a bar drinking his sorrows away after an argument with his girlfriend. I consoled him for a bit. That's how we ended up being together. "He kept complaining that his girlfriend was like dead fish in bed, so he was already sick of her a long time ago. You know what men are like, always going for excitement in life." My fingers curled around my phone slightly. Last May, I did get into a huge argument with my boyfriend, Brian Dicht. He never came home that night. The next morning, he returned while reeking of alcohol. I continue scrolling down the comment section, only to see the commentor posting a photo. "See? I was acting all cute and whiny to him just now by telling him that I cut my finger when I was preparing a meal for myself. He agreed to drop by my place to keep me company tonight." In the photo, there's a diamond ring adorning the ring finger that has a plaster wrapped around it. That ring looks exactly the same as the set of engagement rings Brian and I have. At the same time, my phone starts ringing. Soon, Brian's voice drifts from the other end of the line. "Bella, something came up in the company at the last minute. I'm not coming home tonight."

After our company's IPO approval is granted, my boyfriend, Derek Calloway, finally agrees to publicize our relationship at the celebratory banquet. Derek and I have been in a relationship for seven years. For so long, he refuses to make our relationship official. He always cites the fact that office romance is forbidden in the company, and that he, as the CEO, should follow through as a prime example. On the night of the banquet, I wait for the news to be broken with bated breath and unadulterated delight. But when Derek stands on the stage, he chooses to utter the name of the new recruit who has just joined the company for two months—Jocelyn Grant. "It's all thanks to Jocelyn's contributions to the project that our company gets to go public. She's the MVP of our company." I just stand beneath the stage, completely stunned. For a moment, I don't know how to react. I'm the main person in charge of that project, and I'm the one who's contributed the most to that project. Not only have I stayed up countless nights working hard on it, but I also got hospitalized a few times because of it. Soon, I receive Derek's text message. "Jocelyn has just joined this line of work. She needs a project to help spruce her resume up. Just let her receive the credits this once. "We'll discuss more on publicizing our relationship in the future." I can only grip my phone so tightly that my fingertips go white. Finally, I key in one word. "Okay." Jocelyn can have the project. She can also have my position as the director. Heck, she's free to have Derek, my now ex-boyfriend. I'd like to see how these assholes can pass the subsequent trials without me.

My boyfriend, Simon Hepworth, gets down on one knee for the 66th time. Moved by his persistence, I finally say yes. But on the eve of our wedding, he drops a bombshell on me. He tells me he wants to have a child with his stepsister, Fiona Hepworth. I find it ridiculous and get into a huge fight with him. But I never could've imagined what would come next. On our wedding day, I wait at the altar for three hours, bouquet in my hands, only for him to dismissively tell me that the wedding is postponed. All because he and Fiona have an IVF appointment that very day. "Fiona was abused by her father growing up. She'll never be able to marry," he explains. "I just want to help her fulfill her dream of being a mother. It's just IVF. It's not like we're actually sleeping together. Stop being so sensitive." He then hangs up, leaving me alone at the wedding under the gaze of countless guests and flashing media cameras. The shock sends my father into the ICU. Standing by his bedside, I make a vow. "Dad, you were right. I won't marry Simon. Next week, I'll come home and take over the family business."

During the holiday, I come across the wedding announcement of my son, Howard Miller, online while recuperating overseas. To my shock, his fiancee is a woman in her 60s! I rush home immediately, only to find that my adopted daughters are gathered around my adopted son, William Miller, and fussing over him. When they see me, they each have something to say. "Ethan, Howard says he likes older women. We've tried talking him out of it, but he won't listen." "Don't worry, Ethan. After Howard marries Ms. Holloway and joins her family as a live-in son-in-law, we'll help him manage all of the Miller family's businesses." "No matter which one of us William chooses to marry in the end, we'll respect it. The most important thing is to produce an heir for the Miller family to carry on the bloodline." As I look at Howard, who is already numb from all the torment, my entire body trembles with rage. The young women who are supposed to become my future daughter-in-law think they can steal everything away from my son. Dream on!

My boyfriend, Wendell Lowe, has been complaining about my best friend, Carissa Chapman, for three years. He hates the fact that she's loud, uploads too many selfies on her social media feed, and doesn't bother looking at the price whenever she's ordering food at a restaurant. Every time a gathering is over, Wendell feels the need to talk smack about Carissa. "Don't invite her to the next gathering in the future. She's so annoying." I keep thinking that Wendell really dislikes Carissa. So when Carissa gets a new boyfriend, I quickly tell him the good news. "Carissa has a boyfriend now. She won't be bothering us anymore." But Wendell gets mad instead. "Who's the guy? Is it the IT guy from her social circle? Isn't he the one who pulls OT every day? Can he even spend time with her?" One week later, Carissa brings her new boyfriend, Gavin Ferguson, over to our gathering. Gavin keeps putting food on Carissa's plate, pouring her water, and dabbing the corner of her mouth for her. Wendell, on the other hand, looks extremely stormy the whole time. After the gathering is over, I comment, "Gavin is pretty decent. He's pretty caring toward Carissa." Suddenly, Wendell stops in his tracks. "He's just putting on an act. Carissa is the type who gets touched far too easily. She shouldn't be with a guy like him. "If anything, she needs to find someone who really understands her. Someone who knows that she's terrified of the dark, doesn't eat cilantro, and often smiles and says that she's fine whenever she's sad." The more Wendell speaks, the softer and shakier his voice becomes. Under the streetlight, I notice how damp his lashes are. A tear soon slides down his nose bridge. For the past three years, Wendell has been admonishing Carissa relentlessly. It turns out it isn't because he hates her. I turn on my heel and walk in the other direction. "You should seek her out. Don't take the detour this time."

After getting into a fight with my CEO husband, Zachary Langford, I decided to sleep in a hotel room that night out of fury. Little did I know that a video would go viral on the Internet the next day. In the video, I took turns pleasuring seven men in my birthday suit. My moans filled the room the whole time. Zachary delivered a heavy slap across my face with the video shown on his phone. "How could I have ever married a shameless slut like you?" I couldn't even defend myself. All I could do was call the police for help. But once the police were done inspecting the video, they determined that it wasn't a deepfake. They had also discovered traces of the men's and my DNA in the hotel room. Everyone went into frenzied discussions on the Internet based on the video. It was then Zachary publicly announced that he shall be divorcing me soon after. Thanks to that, my mom died of a sudden heart attack. Apparently, the heart attack was triggered out of pure fury toward me. As for my father, he got into a fatal car accident on his way to the hospital. His corpse was completely broken and battered. After I got cast out of my family, those men's wives went as far as to hire hooligans to violate me in order to get revenge on me. Not wanting to get violated, I ended up falling down the stairs while I was fleeing from them. My brain suffered from internal bleeding, which killed me in the end. Even when I breathed my last, I still failed to understand why those videos and the evidence still existed despite the fact that I had done nothing at all. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day I'm having a fight with Zachary.