Dirty Mind Quotes Funny

"You look good," I said to Chloe at humakbang ako palapit sa kaniya. Kunot ang noo niya na nakatingin lang sa akin. "Kahit balot na balot ka, my body is still reacting." I grabbed her hand na natatakpan ng kumot at pinakapa ko sa kaniya ang nabuhay ko na naman na pagkalalaki. I saw how her eyes grew bigger again and I winked at her. "Nice meeting you, Chloe." ****** Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Ipinanganak para pasakitin ang ulo ng amang labis niyang kinamumuhian. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in Foedus Organization but he'll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game. ****** This is a story that is close to real mafia life. If you are a sucker for romance and a simple plot, better not read this!!!

Penelope Samiento ang isang babaeng hindi man gano'n ka talino at kagandahan ngunit siya naman ay puno ng saya, nangangarap ng isang lalaking kinahuhumalingan niya si Darrel Lim, isang vocalista ng banda sa school nila. Suplado pero gwapo at higit sa lahat matalino. Paano kaya kung pagbuklodin sila ng tadhana at itinakdang ikasal para sa isang kasunduan? Magiging masaya kaya sila sa kabila ng pagiging magka-iba?

Alexander is Jeselle's one true love, well as for her. He is the man of her dreams. Lahat ay naganap na naaayon sa kaniyang mga ninaais na mangyari, na para bang kakampi niya ang tadhana na handa siyang tulungan ano mang oras. Nang dahil sa isang kontrata, naisakatuparan niya ang kaniyang tanging pinapangarap na buhay. Nang dahil sa kasunduang ito ay nagkasalubong ang kanilang mga magkakaibang estado ng pamumuhay at mundo na siyang ikinagulat ng isa't isa. At sa kanilang pagpapatuloy, marami silang natutuhan sa isa't isa na naging susi upang sila'y magkamabutihan. Maayos na ang lahat, until that moment when she found out that everything is not as it seems.

"Ang tanga-tanga mo naman, Hailey! Bakit ka nagpabuntis? Sa ating dalawa ikaw pa nga itong mahinhin. Di makabasag pinggan. Ikaw ‘yong dalagang Filipina, yeah!" hindi napigilan ang galit na sita niya sa kakambal. Problema. Iyon kaagad ang sumagi sa isip ni Callie nang malamang buntis ang ni kakambal niyang si Hailey. Bukod sa hindi nito masabi kung sino ang tatay ay mahina ang puso nito, kaligtasan kaagad nito ang naisip niya. Gustuhin man niya itong sabunutan dahil sa taglay na kagagahan ay hindi na lang niya ginawa. Sa mapaglarong tadhana, sa kakahanap niya sa Tatay ng anak nito ay natuklasan niyang ang multi millionaire na si Carter Hyun ang nakadisgrasiya dito. Natagpuan na lang niya ang sarili na siya na ang Mommy ng baby nito. Magkakasama sila sa iisang bubong, mapigilan niya kaya kung may pag-ibig na umusbong?

"If you want a divorce, sabihin mo lang, and I will give it to you." "Tapos ano? Mawawalan ako ng karapatan sa bahay natin na milyun-milyon ang kontribusyon ko? 'Di na lang, uy! Magtiis tayo sa isa't-isa, sa hirap at ginhawa, araw at gabi, magpakailan-kailanman. Amen!" Hope Ryker Lee, the ultimate prankster, is set to marry Elisse Garcia, an heiress with a temper hotter than the sun and social skills colder than Antarctica. Hope wanted a partner as fun and lively as he is, but Elisse is introverted, snarky, and definitely not interested in playing along with Hope's high-energy antics. For Elisse, the marriage is purely a means to secure her inheritance. So, her master plan? Marry Hope, take over the company, and then kick him out of her life. Simple, right? Not quite. There's a catch: whoever calls it quits first loses their claim to their multi-million house. When Hope discovers her scheme, the real fun begins. Hilarious and heated war of pranks, sabotage, and emotional showdowns turn their home into an epic battlefield. Can they survive the chaos, or will they stumble into love amidst the madness? Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughs, schemes, and surprising twists in this comedic clash of opposites!

Nagkaroon ng kaguluhan sa coffee shop na pinagtratrabahuhan ni Sabina, isang guwapong customer ang tinamaan ng baril. Duguan itong gumapang sa pinagtataguan niya at hiniling na itago niya at pakaingatan ang maliit na box. Ngunit parang nanadya ang tadhana ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos ng pangyayari ay tumawag naman ang step-mother niya para sabihing naaksidente ang Papa niya. Hindi na natapos pa ang kanyang kamalasan simula ng araw na iyon. Pagkatapos maratay ng Papa niya sa ospital ng ilang linggo ay binawian na rin ito ng buhay. Pagkatapos ay pinalayas siya ng kanyang madrasta sa kanilang bahay at ibenenta nito ang bahay na pag-aari ng kanyang mga magulang. Hindi pa duon natapos ang kasamaan nito. Nadiskubre niyang hindi aksidente ang nangyari sa Papa niya. Ipinapatay ito ng madrasta niya para makuha nito ang insurance ng Papa niya. Sa sobrang galit at naisipan niyang maghiganti. Aakitin niya ang bilyonaryong fiance ng step-sister niya. Laking gulat niya nang mapagtantong ang fiance nito ay ang guwapong cutomer niya sa coffee shop! At hinahanap nito sa kanya ang ipinatago nitong box. Ang problema, hindi na niya maalala kung saan niya nailagay iyon! Nanganganib ang buhay ng guwapong lalaki kapag hindi niya nahanap ang box. Ngunit mas nanganganib ang puso niya dahil napagtanto niyang umiibig na pala siya sa guwapong lalaki na nadiskubre niyang isa palang Mafia Boss.

WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised. Contains graphic sex scenes, adult language and situation intended for mature readers only. R-18 "Touch me. Devour me. Savor in me and enjoy every minute of pleasure, Wade," - Rosenda Dela Vega Lahat tayo ay may kanya-kanyang swerte sa buhay, nasa atin na lamang kung paano natin hahanapin ito. Lumaki si Rosenda sa bahay ampunan ngunit dumating ang swerte sa kanyang buhay nang ampunin siya ng isang mayamang negosyante at haciendero na si Joaquin Dela Vega. Rosenda has it all. Fame. Money. Beauty. Power. Perfect heir to the Dela Vega Empire. Ngunit ito ay may isang kontrobersyal na sikreto. In-love siya kay Wade Dela Vega na nakababatang kapatid ng kanyang amain na si Joaquin but Wade is a womanizer, a strict Professor of the University that she's into and a cold hearted person kung kaya't sinubukan niyang akitin ito at makipaglaro ng apoy rito but over all he wanted his love more than anything else and not only lust. Magtagumpay kaya si Rosenda na baguhin ang isang katulad ni Wade?

Triana Allende was living a fairy tale life until her father passed away. Everything fell apart when her mother arranged her marriage to the only son of a conglomerate to save their dying business—Devance Chaudhary. Meanwhile, Devance is against arranged marriage, but his father threatens to disinherit him if he doesn’t marry the daughter of his old friend. Devance is prepared to move heaven and hell to oppose his marriage to a stranger until he meets Triana. He bids the highest price that she could not refuse, even though she is engaged to someone else. Can love blossom between them? Because their presence together spells disaster!

Kate Artemis Herrera was an only daughter of a single mother who loved her from the moon and back. She would do anything for her mother even if she sold herself. But an unexpected tragedy happened, and her mother was accidentally lacerated on her neck by an addict while selling Balut on the street. With that, she urgently needed a sum of money for her mother’s operation who was on the verge of death. In that night, desperation and fear of losing her mother. Closed eyes, she went to the Goddess of Pleasure, an Elite Cabarete who gave comfort to powerful men. She begged Head Mistress Cleopatra to let her be one of the comfort women in the auction just to have a huge sum of money for her mother’s operation. She sold herself and surrendered her virginity to the mysterious man that had an alias of Don Apollo, who bought her for one billion pesos just a night, and they went to his mansion to have sex. But she put in her mind that after that night, she would run away, and never crossed-paths again with the mysterious man who claimed her virginity, and accidentally got her pregnant. But little did she know that she was carrying inside her womb the babies of the mysterious man who wasn’t just an ordinary powerful man, because he was a Mafia Lord named Orion Dio del Sole that would hunt her, and make her life upside down.

Peterson VillaGracia isang batang bilyonaryo sa edad niyang twenty-eighth years old marami na siyang napatunayan sa buhay. Pero isang lihim ang kaniyang pinakatago-tago na ayaw ibunyag sa ngayon dahil nag hihintay siya nang tamang pagkakataon. Ngunit paano kong ang lihim niya ay mabunyag sa lipunan, ano kaya ang kaya niyang gawin para ma protektahan lamang ang kaniyang mahal pati na rin ang kaniyang reputasyon?