Family Quotes Funny

Two months after I died, it finally occurred to my parents that they'd forgotten to bring me back from their trip. My father scowled in frustration. "She was supposed to walk back herself. Does she really need to make such a big deal out of it?" My brother, ever smug, opened our chat and sent an emoji, along with a message. [You'd better die out there. That way, Scarlett and I will split Grandma's inheritance.] He received no reply. With a frosty expression, my mother said, "Tell her if she shows up for her grandmother's birthday on time, I'll let the whole pushing-Scarlett-into-the-water thing go." They never believed I hadn't made it out of those woods. After digging six feet into the ground, they finally found my bones deep in the forest.

“I, Alpha Alessandro D’Almerita, reject you, wolf huntress Valerie Morozov, as my mate and Luna.” He said, glaring at the woman, his mate, as she lay bare on the bed that they shared the other night. “I, Valerie Morozov, accept your rejection, Alpha Alessandro D’Almerita.” ************************ Rejected, torn, pregnant, and angry. But when a wolf turns up in her infirmary, injured, beaten, and shot, Valerie is surprised that it is no other than the Alpha, her family’s sworn enemy, who rejected her. None other than Alpha Alessandro…

A year ago, Aveline Young found a man with amnesia on the side of the road and brought him home. This man was strikingly handsome, with broad shoulders, long legs, and a face that could easily earn a fortune in modeling. Aveline felt an embarrassing flutter in her heart and on a whim, they quickly got married. However, once the man recovered his memory, his first action was to divorce her, claiming he needed to go back and take over his family's business. Aveline was stunned but accepted the divorce, thinking that money was more important and that she shouldn't be tied to one man when there were plenty of younger options available. On the day they finalized their divorce, Aveline shocked everyone in Cloudflare City with a bold statement in the divorce papers: "He’s no good, so I got bored." Post-divorce, Aveline was never short of attention from young, attractive men. At one social event, a friend inquired whether she would ever consider reconciling. Aveline scoffed. "The one who brings up getting back together is a dog!" Late one night, her phone rang. "Who's this?" "Woof!"

We’ve all read the books where the Alpha’s mate is hurt or gets kidnapped and the Alpha has to save them. But what happens when it’s the strong Alpha that gets taken? And something so traumatic happens to him, that he’s left completely broken. Left as only a shell of who he once was. And it’s his Luna that needs to rescue him… Maddox is the Alpha of the Night Wolf Pack. He was once full of life, a jokester and known for pranking his loved ones. Addison is a rare, enchanted witch & his beloved Luna. His pack was once abused and tortured until it’s previous Alpha was killed and it’s people set free. Maddox is now determined to bring peace to his new pack. However, things take a turn for the worst when someone close to the old Alpha seeks revenge. And he plans to take that revenge out on the new Alpha. Finn is an abused pack slave. His only dream is that one day his mate will find him and rescue him. But what happens when his mate wants absolutely nothing to do with him? Will he ever know freedom? Find out, in this journey where they discover what the true meaning of family, friendship, love and loyalty really is. ** Trigger Warning! Abuse, rape, torture. ** This is book 3 of A Broken Alpha series. This book can be read as a standalone.

“I want a divorce!” Angela said, staring at her young and handsome husband with her head high. “You had the nerve to tell me that? Fine! Who wants to stay married to an ugly and stupid woman?” Sky Mars scoffed, looking at her from head to toe. “How much do you want from me?” He asked, thinking she only married him for his money. “I don’t need your money, Sky. Only that,” Angela pointed at the beautiful handmade quilt on the bed. “Not only you’re ugly and stupid, but you’re also crazy. Take this, sign the divorce papers, and don’t ever come back,” He took the blue peacock design comforter on the bed, throwing it at her. She picked up the quilt that landed on the floor and turned her back on him, hugging the soft fabric as she walked toward the door. She did not bother correcting him that she is not ugly and stupid, but crazy? Maybe. She was probably insane falling in love with Sky, that not only the name and status is beyond her reach but also his heart.

*BOOK 1: THE ALPHA KINGPIN TWINS* Navigating the harsh criminal underworld is no easy task, especially for women. Mira, an unwanted omega born from an Alpha's mistress, has experienced this reality firsthand. Deemed worthless, Mira is sold to the merciless Russian Alpha, Mikhail Popov, who subjects her to unimaginable cruelty. Forsaken by her family, Mira faces a life of suffering and violence under Popov's control. But Mira has a plan. On a fateful night, she seizes the opportunity to escape, taking with her secrets that could destroy Popov. Mira believes she has found freedom, but instead, she stumbles into the lair of Alpha Nikolaos Ioannides, a Greek Alpha with an even darker reputation. As a brutal pack war rages around them, Mira's options grow scarce. However, Alpha Nikolaos makes her an offer: her freedom and independence in exchange for one thing – giving him an Alpha heir. Mira is left with a crucial decision: is she willing to bear a child for the fearsome Alpha in exchange for her freedom? And perhaps more importantly, will she even have a choice? *** “You want to breed me?” He winces at the term, but nods.“Yes. I need an Alpha heir but in my position, I don't have time to go out looking for a mate nor do I want a Luna.” Mate; the one thing every wolf wants but no one seems to have. The Mate Bond is so obscure that many wolves have decided not to chase after it anymore. Would I even still be fertile after all the abuse I've suffered? What tests did the doctor run that she concluded I was fit to bear an Alpha's pup? *** Side Stories Included: Beta's Runaway Bride - Completed BITTERSWEET: The Gamma's Stories - Ongoing

Isabella Martinez's father died when she was eighteen years old. She had been separated from her mother at an early age and had no knowledge of the business her mother was involved in with her new husband. After her father's death, she is pushed into her mother's world, where she meets her husband and her husband's son, Alex. Alex is unlike any male she has ever encountered; he is cruel and demanding. He's harsh and intimidating. Alex was known to instill dread in individuals merely by glancing at them. Isabella is unaware that he is the world's most dreaded Mafia Don. Alex claims Isabella is his own the instant his eyes meet hers. Her stepbrother is a womanizer who astonished everyone when he claimed Isabella. Isabella is terrified and despairing; will she learn to accept her stepbrother into her heart? She shouted out, "Y-You can't do that." ❝You are my brother.❞ He chuckled at her as his fingers gripped her tiny lace underwear. ❝I am not your brother, neonata.❞ His lips were on her neck, nibbling her skin and moving down to her breast. ❝ Why are you doing this? She asked, biting her lip as his tongue touched her bud. ❝ Because you are mine.

"Dear wifey. I think we have unfinished business," Evan said, the moment he saw the gorgeous lady standing before him. "Sorry, Mr. Walton. Have we ever met before?" She chipped in with an impassive expression on her face. ....... One thing was to get married to the person she loved so much, another thing was to get him to love her back. Ava's life became miserable and fell to rock bottom, when she finally got married to the man of her dreams after her family went bankrupt. For that situation, every of her emotions were treated as insincere and she was regarded filth as well as treated with so much revulsion. Five years later after being mercilessly ousted from everyone's lives by divorce and family disownment, a new brand stepped out to take the spotlight from everyone. Ava Carson became powerful, wealthy, and also the best mum. "Mummy we want our daddy," her two adorable darlings clamoured the same words, ever since they saw their mother in a picture with a familiar man of similar resemblance. ***"**** "Dear wifey. I want you to love me again," Ethan knelt before her. "Ex-wife," she corrected him. (Ding! Chapters are updated daily!)

When your best friend/lover betrays you and rejects your sincere feelings to marry your sister, the only thing left to do is to run away and never see either of them ever again, right? Well, I don't know if that's the best idea, but that's what I did. Daniel Griffin used me, betrayed me and to make it all worse, he got me pregnant. Now, years later, I still hate Daniel, but with a child on the mix and plenty of family problems, I can't ignore him anymore. Not to mention that fate decided to make us compatible and I can't be around him without wanting to jump him.

Everleigh, the Alpha's daughter, never had the life she dreamed of. Once she turned everything changed. She was treated as a slave by her family and higher up pack members. On her and her twin brother's birthday the soon to be Beta tries to hurt her. Somehow he ends up knocked out before any damage could be done. In the blink of an eye she runs as far and as fast as she can not knowing were to go. She ends up in the territory of Alpha Zayden. A ruthless ruler. When he see this little woman he realizes she is his mate. What neither of them expected was for someone to be hiding in the shadows watching her. Waiting for the right moment to get to her. Will she end up in the same situation as before or will he show her the love he has for her and keep her safe from the evil forces that are in waiting?