Filipino Jokes One Liner

The doctors said it was over—stage four, nothing left to fight. I had three days, max. I signed the organ donor papers myself. If I was gonna die, at least someone else could get a second shot. Told my family I was sick. But my so-called sister—the doctor—shrugged it off like I was making it up. She convinced them I was losing it, not dying. My parents and fiancé fell for it. Handed me over like she was some hero. She wasn't. She pushed me closer to the end. And when I finally died, the same people who wouldn't listen cried like they hadn't let it happen.

As the heir to the North's most powerful pack, I must choose my mate from the three rival Alphas. My heart had already chosen. Alpha Ethan. He was my destiny. Our mate bond was a roaring fire, impossible to ignore. But just days before the Mating Ceremony, we were ambushed by rogues. Everything went black. When I woke up, a new wolf was howling in my soul. Nyx. She claimed to be from my past life. And she was screaming in my head, begging me not to choose Ethan. "He'll kill you! Him and that bitch Clara. They'll steal everything you have! Arthur is the one you have to choose!" Arthur? The cursed Alpha doomed to die before he turns twenty-five?

Jasper, the son of the alpha of the Crimson Claws Pack, couldn't find his mate in the Werewolf World in his eighteen years. And although he doesn't worry about it at first, the possibility of his wolf getting out of control and his human form being affected by staying too long without finding his mate makes him follow his father's instructions and go to the Human Word, to look for his future Luna. And to accomplish this, he decides to look for his mate in the human schools. However, when Jasper meets a mysterious and very attractive girl in a club, his interest is immediately caught, especially after they have a one-night stand, and she disappears before dawn, without leaving a single note. It turns out that the girl who caught his eye is Scarlett Davis, a nerd who has just been cheated on by her boyfriend. Scarlett doesn't want to face his one-night stand, but she doesn't expect him to be the new transfer student in her class, who is actually willing to win her over and, for that, starts a passionate pursuit of her. However, Scarlett doesn't know that Jasper is a werewolf… and that even her identity is shrouded in deep secrets and mysteries that involve her own family — and Jasper's as well.

Tristan Lee has only three things he values in his life: his friends, money, and his beloved mother. He comes from a family of entrepreneurs who only focus on benefits and profits. Like every other heir, his life is already planned from a young age. He will inherit his family business, and he needs the right education for that. As the good, obedient son that he is, Tristan Lee takes up Bachelor of Science in Business Administration majoring in Financial Management at one of the country's top schools, De La Salle University. He relentlessly pursued excellence. Tristan believes that his life is on the right track with his high grades as a Dean's Lister and good reputation at the university, until he meets Kai Alvaro, the person who makes him question everything that he believes in and the one who turns his carefully crafted world upside down. Tristan finds himself torn between his family's expectations and a love he never knew he needed. _9HEARTS

Love is an overrated word, and just like a spell that brainwashes our system, people are bound to search for their true love -- but not in Marion’s case. Her adoptive family, together with her biological father, wants her to have a child of her own. And when the dazzling one hundred billion pesos inheritance is on the line, she will trample her beliefs and desperately search for a man that will give her outstanding genes for her ‘one hundred billion pesos baby.’

นายนิโคลัส เคลดัลซ่าร์ คนสนิทมักเรียกเขาว่านิค อายุ 32 ปี เขาเป็นผู้ชายที่มีเสน่ห์น่าค้นหา ด้วยหน้าตาที่เป็นลูกครึ่งไทยอังกฤษ ยิ่งทำให้น่าหลงใหล เขามีรูปร่างสูงใหญ่กำยำ จมูกโด่งเป็นสันนัยน์ตาสีฟ้า สะกดทุกสายตาที่จ้องมอง เขามีน้องสาวหนึ่งคนชื่อนิโคล เมื่อบิดาเสียชีวิตลงด้วยโรคร้าย เขาจึงกลับมาดูแลและสานต่อธุรกิจที่เมืองไทย ครอบครัวของเขาทำเกี่ยวกับผลไม้แปรรูปหลายชนิด เขาเป็นชายหนุ่มที่สาวๆ ต่างก็หมายตา แต่ดูเหมือนว่าเขานั้นจะไม่เคยมองใคร นางสาวพริมโรส มารยาทงามเลิศ ทุกคนมักจะเรียกเธอว่าพิมพ์ เธออายุ 23 ปี เรียนมหา'ลัยปีสุดท้าย อีกไม่นานเดือนกว่าก็จะจบแล้ว เธอเป็นสาวสวยหุ่นเซ็กซี่ ลูกครึ่งไทยเยอร เธอถูกอบรมเลี้ยงดูแบบไทยแท้ มารดาของเธอสอนให้รักนวลสงวนตัว เมื่อนางเคยพลาดพลั้งมีอะไรกับบิดาของพริมโรสจนตั้งครรภ์ เพราะความรักทำให้คนตาบอด เมื่อมารดาของเธอได้รู้ความจริงว่าชายอันเป็นที่รักนั้น เขาแค่หลอกลวงหวังแค่เสพสมจากกายของเธอ เขาไม่ยอมรับทารกน้อยในครรภ์ แต่นางก็อดทนกล้ำกลืนเลี้ยงดูพริมโรสจนเติบใหญ่ ได้อย่างสง่างามเธอสวยอย่างมีคุณภาพและทรงคุณค่าในตัว

Elena Bennett, the illegitimate daughter of the Bennetts, was never supposed to matter. The unwanted daughter of a powerful family, hidden away like a dirty secret. But one night—one reckless, alcohol-soaked night—changed everything. Elias Vanguard, billionaire bad boy, notorious womanizer, and a man with enough family drama to sink an empire. Their drunken encounter becomes front-page news, and suddenly, they’re both drowning in a scandal neither of them wants. His solution? A fake marriage to clean up his reputation. Her motivation? The chance to finally claw her way out of the shadows and show everyone who they messed with. But playing house with a man who treats her like dirt wasn't part of the fantasy. Elias brings home his mistresses like it’s nothing, and with every insult, Elena’s heart cracks a little more. Until one day, he shoves divorce papers at her—because his precious mistress is supposedly pregnant. Elena signs the papers, disappears, and rebuilds herself from the ashes. Five years later, she’s a tech powerhouse, running the biggest company in the States, raising her son alone. Meanwhile, Elias is down on his luck, crippled from an accident, and abandoned by everyone he thought he could trust. When fate brings their worlds crashing together again, Elias isn’t the man he used to be. And Elena? Well, she’s the woman he should’ve never let go. But with betrayal, heartbreak, and an empire of her own to protect, forgiveness isn’t on her list of priorities. He wants her back. But this time, Elena's playing by her own rules.

Matapos malaman ni Mallory Natividad na ang kapatid at boyfriend niya ay may relasyon at suportado pa ito ng mga magulang niya ay naisipan niyang pumunta sa isang bar sa pag-asang makakalimutan niya ang nakita at ilabas lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman niya. Pero nagkakamali siya dahil kahit ilang baso na ang nainom niya ay hindi pa rin siya nakakalimot. Naglasing siya nang naglasing hanggang sa may lumapit sa kaniya na lalaki. Sa sobrang kalasingan niya ay hindi na siya umangal nang inaya siya nito papunta sa kung saan. May ideya na siya sa kung anong mangyayari sa kanilang dalawa pero sa halip na matakot siya ay para bang gusto niya rin ito. Ang gabi nila ay parehong nagtapos sa isang mainit at masarap nang magkasama sa iisang kama. Kinabukasan, nang makita niya ang lalaking nakasiping niya ay hindi siya makapaniwala nang nakilala niya ito. Ito ay si Cargorios Mertimor, kilala bilang isa sa pinakabata at pinakamayaman sa buong mundo— at higit sa lahat ay kilala bilang isang womanizer. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang gagawin niya kaya dali-dali na lang siyang umalis nang hindi nagigising ang lalaki. Ilang linggo lang ang nakalipas ay hindi niya inaasahan na magbubunga pala ang nangyari sa kanila at mas lalong hindi niya aakalain na magtatapong muli ang landas nila. Inaakala niyang magiging maayos lang ang lahat nang sumama siya kay Cargorios, pero hindi niya aakalain na ito na pala ang simula ng pagkagulo ng buhay niya. Hindi niya inaasahan ang natuklasan niyang plano ni Cargorios na nagpawasak sa kaniyang puso. Dahil doon ay kailangan niyang mamili. Pipiliin niya ba ang sarili niyang kasiyahan, o ang kapakanan ng kaniyang anak na nasa kaniyang sinapupunan?

After being betrayed by her boyfriend and best friend, Mary Sampson moved to the hotel she had booked earlier for herself and her boyfriend to stay after he had proposed. As she is masturbating to get over her plight, a smoking hot handsome young man walks in, disrupting her pleasure. After a while of argument, it is discovered that due to some system error in the hotel, the room is mistakenly booked twice and the room actually belongs to the handsome young man. Mary is refunded, despite the handsome man offering to allow her to share the room, she insists she will find another room. However, she doesn't find any other hotel room as all the hotels in the whole town have been booked. She reluctantly returns to the handsome man and they play poker to while away the time. The poker soon turns to a stripping poker and the smoking hot man stripteases her, turning her on. Eventually, they have a hot night together and Mary drops her phone number, hoping they may see each other again. After waiting for two years without getting a call from him, she forgot about him. Only to run into him at her workplace the next day… The smoking hot man is her boss.

'He tried to force her to submit, but he wasn’t her Alpha. No, SHE was his.' Becoming an Alpha seemed like too much responsibility for a newly turned teenaged werewolf, but life doesn’t always go the way we planned. It was a lesson that Alexa Winters had to learn, and fast because the world continued to spin even when she was falling apart, and it wasn’t going to wait for her to catch up. And ready or not she was the Alpha. Learning to lead whilst fighting enhanced emotions makes for a really stressed, she-wolf. Add super strength to the mix and you have disaster, and a lot of broken furniture. Well, at least she was keeping the handymen busy. Just when she starts getting the hang of things the nightmare from her very recent past comes back, and this time he isn’t planning on leaving empty handed. With events from her family’s past coming to light and secrets making themselves known they have to face something much older, crueler, and so much stronger than she could ever hope to be. With Aiden at her side, she just might be able to do it. Can she learn to control this newfound power before her enemies succeed in their mission to take it from her?