Funny Deer Blind Dad Jokes

"You want me to fuck you like a whore, is that it?" His eyes darkened as they narrowed on me while I swallowed hard, realizing I had been backed up against the edge of the desk as desire zinged through me. "Yes," I answered, breathlessly. He leaned forward slightly and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I tried not to shiver at the sudden chill that ran through me. My eyes flitted up to meet his hazel orbs, they were burning with hunger and a dark fire. “My kitten…” He purred, tracing his hand over my boobs. The rattling sound of his belt was what I heard next. Bunching up my dress to my waist, the first slap landed on my ass cheeks eliciting a moan from me. Grabbing my waist, he plunged his cock into me in one harsh thrust. A soft whimper escaped my lips as he slammed into me again. ** ** ** When Angelina Bryant finds out her boyfriend who uses insensitive words on her was actually a cheat, and her best friend was a backstabber, it coincides with the period a new neighbor, Kade Ashton moves into the mansion opposite their house. They're unable to deny their chemistry and so they give in to the fire raging between them. When Elva Ashton who is Angelina's new bestie finds out she is f*cking her father, hell is let loose. What happens when everyone they hold dear is against their forbidden relationship? Will their love die out or make a strong comeback? Warning : This book is an age gap romance filled with explicit erotic content. If you aren't comfortable with rated scenes, kindly drop it, it's not too late. However if you choose to read this, prepare to be blown away by Angela and Kade's story.

Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann are so very happy with their love affair. They have had five years of being alone with each other, and they have talked about having a third party in their relationship. Being bisexual they both love women but they both agree it would take someone so special to love both of them. All Millie Ashton wants is a family who loves her. Her mother has zero maternal instinct, and her two older half-sisters, twins and fashion models Pearl and Ruby, use her as a slave! After a massive row over a ruined top, Millie leaves home. On a wet and windy March day, Millie walks into what seems to be akin to a tiger's den. Superstar rock-god musicians Nick Henderson and Gabriel Swann, need a housekeeper. Was looking after the twins a case of better the devil you know, or will Millie find the most wonderful family.

Laura Walker was forced to marry an old man by her mother so that her bride price could be used for her younger brother's wedding. However, Laura felt that she should be in control of her own life.Her blind date didn't go as planned. Instead, she ended up getting married to a stranger.The two of them had undergone a flash marriage and planned on setting guidelines so that they wouldn't disturb each other's lives. However, Laura didn't expect the man to cook for her, put her to bed and force her to call him "Honey"."Honey, I want a kiss.""Honey, I want a hug."Laura had thought that her husband was just a normal working class, so she had planned out their future in detail.That was until she realized that her husband had a garage full of luxury cars.Not only that, her husband looked identical to the richest man in Empfield!

Getting a job to work as the agent of a top artist in the country, Lyron is excited for the extra pay to cater to his siblings' needs. But when his boss, Amil and him find themselves on a rollercoaster of feelings harbored towards each other, starting with dislike and hate, they both do not expect to be bound by these feelings especially when Amil is betrothed to marry the daughter of his family's friend. Lyron is pregnant but emotionally broken. Amil keeps denying his sexual orientation and feelings for Lyron. What happens between these two lovers when fate comes into play?

"Mr Charlie, your son fought in school again" Charlie's assistant reported, Charlie was shocked, he didn't remember having another son in College again. "You fulfilled your promise, so, I will make you my wife no matter what, and I won't take a no for an answer," Charlie told Margret without mincing words. Margret didn't expect her return to Houston with two of her triplets will be very dramatic, a man she doesn't recognise claiming she promised to give him triplets, and another man who wanted to snatch her children from her. And her other son, who doesn't recognise her as his mother.

I fall in love with my father's friend, an Alpha 20 years my senior. I'm only eight when I first meet him. It happens at a banquet for the upper echelons of the werewolf pack. My father brings me with him. Layson Romanov instantly catches my eye. He stands tall at six feet and two inches, and his toned figure shows through his black suit. He exudes a natural dominance. My father introduces me to him, and he caresses my hair with a smile. Then, he gives me a pink dress adorned with pearls and pink diamonds. "You'll look beautiful when you're old enough to wear this." Back then, I didn't understand what he meant. … Ten years later, I put on that dress and enter his room. He's drugged after falling into someone's trap, and his wolf is out of control. His usually calm eyes are filled with mania. I know that he'll go insane—even lose his life—if he doesn't have an antidote. So, I give him my pure, untainted body. I become his antidote. We later marry, and he loves me as my father would've done. However, when I'm four months pregnant, I discover that his personal secretary, Grace Parker, is also pregnant. "I'm sorry to have put you through this, Grace. Everyone knows I only married Charlotte out of duty. I'll make sure our child is my only heir," he says. It all makes sense now—no wonder Layson refused to mark me despite us being married. Grace is the one he loves. I'm heartbroken. I ingest a large amount of wolfsbane, leading to a miscarriage. I ultimately die of blood loss. Intense regret washes over me as I breathe my last breath. When I open my eyes again, I find that I've been reborn. I'm taken back to the day Layson is drugged…

‘Callie,’ he began, his voice husky, ‘crying over your ex-boyfriend won’t solve anything.’ Confusion etched across her face, Callie furrowed her brows. ‘Then what will? ’ she demanded, her voice tinged with frustration. Elias leaned closer, his warm breath caressing her cheek. ‘You need to show him what he’s lost. Find a man who’s more handsome, more powerful, and richer than him. Then, make a grand entrance into his life with your new partner.’ Callie scoffed, her eyes rolling in disbelief. ‘Where am I supposed to find someone like that? ’ Elias’s fingers gently lifted her chin, locking their gazes together. ‘I can be that man,’ he said. ‘If you agree to be with me, I’ll protect you from any harm, including your ex-boyfriend.’ ********************************************** Elias Westwood, billionaire heir turned professional solider, a commanding presence on the battlefield, conceals a tender heart that beats for only one woman——Callie Hawthorne, a fearless surgical resident, possesses an innocent charm and wields her skills like a warrior in the operating theatre. Their first encounter thrusts them into a dangerous game of deception. Elias uses Callie as a pawn, their lips locked in a passionate kiss, fooling his pursuers. In that moment, Callie feels the allure of the enigmatic soldier, and a strange connection sparks between them. An impulsive decision seals their fate—a hasty marriage to escape an arranged union and prove Callie’s readiness to move on from a past love. Little did they know, this act would propel them onto an unforeseen path. Will Elias and Callie emerge unscathed from the shadows, or will their sacrifices shatter their dreams forever? Discover their fight for a future filled with hope, trust, and the promise of a happy ending.

Palermo is a feared Mafia boss, commanding respect throughout the criminal underworld. He's a strikingly handsome and heavily tattooed man who exudes charisma, leaving women enraptured. As a wealthy and ruthless leader of the Mafia, he's unflinchingly willing to take lives. He's a figure who cares not for the concept of sin, but even he couldn't believe he'd fall in love at first sight with a woman he had only just laid eyes on. She was stunningly beautiful, and in his eyes, Ysabel was the only woman who truly held his attention. She was the first woman he wished to protect and cherish, and he never anticipated developing an interest in her, an interest that compelled him to know her, to draw close to her, and to become a part of her life. However, it was beyond belief that in the midst of violence, near-death experiences, and imminent peril, he found and came to know the captivating Ysabel. To his surprise, she even managed to steal his heart. It may sound peculiar and humorous, doesn't it? He was on the brink of death, yet he still managed to fall in love at first sight with this woman of extraordinary beauty whom he had just met. But he is Palermo Lazarus, a Mafia leader who would stop at nothing to possess and claim the woman who had entranced him and breathed life into a heart he once believed was as cold as stone. He became possessively infatuated with her and was resolute in making her his own.

In order to take away her father's equity,she was frame by her husband and girlfriend. A paper divorce thrown on her face,she was force to go out of the house. Four years later she return with her son. "Mummy ",I heard that it is popular now,you wait, I will recognize one to support you!!! A few days later the son took back as super handsome guy who looks exactly like him.. "Mummy, you can rest assured, I checked, and ranked first in the global rich list, specializing in all kinds of dissatisfaction! Said her son confidently. Looking at the stunned woman gong ye thrown a paternity test coldly " Woman , when did you steal my spicies?" "Cheng liyue anger, which bastard slept four years ago self-repossible?!!......

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?