Funny Long Jokes

A year after my divorce, my ex-husband, Harvey Fisher, pings me in a group chat. "This cold war has gone on for long enough. Come home—let's remarry." I reply, "Have you lost your mind?" Everyone in the group chat tries to convince me to take Harvey back. Meanwhile, he asks, "What have you been doing without me in your life?" I turn to look at my current husband, who's putting our child to sleep. I reply, "Recovering after having a child." The group chat members are initially excited, but they instantly fall silent at my words. Harvey angrily calls me countless times, but I ignore him. His mind is not the only thing he's lost—he's also lost the young woman who once loved him more than life itself.

“There was a fucking earthquake. It caused an avalanche on the mountain. Didn’t you feel it, you lazy piece of shit?” I yell at Kaleb. “No, I didn’t. I was fucking sleeping. Quit bitching at me.” he says. He’s wearing nothing but grey sweats that hang low on his waist. God, how can someone so fucking hot be so fucking annoying? “We are stuck here. There’s at least 25 feet of snow blocking us in this cabin. Lily and your parents can’t get back either.” I tell him. “Thanks for the observation. If we can’t get out, they obviously can’t get in.” “Can you not be a snarky asshole for 2 minutes?! We are literally fucking stuck in this cabin together for god knows how long!” I yell at Kaleb. He’s so infuriating sometimes. “Relax. I’m sure we’ll probably be out in a few hours.” “Oh you’re sure, are you? Well, guess what dipshit? The guy on the radio said they’re focusing on the surrounding areas first and then they’ll be working on the mountain. That could take fucking days, Kaleb.” Kaleb takes a step closer to me. “Don’t talk to me like I’m fucking stupid, Riley.” “Oh yeah? What are you doing to do?” “If you don’t stop with this bratty attitude, I’m going to fuck it out of you.”

Sleeping with my best friend was something that shouldn’t have happened. We made a promise to each other when we were young, but it was long forgotten, at least by him, but not by me. I didn’t forget that he was my prince charming. He dated girls, which I didn’t mind because I was still underage. We slept in the same bed until this date, but we have never crossed the line. The problem started when his fiancée failed to appear for their wedding, and I had to play the role of his bride for the day just to save his face. That was the date everything changed. We had the steamiest night, and he told me it shouldn’t have happened because he was dating my best friend, Candice. That struck me dead in the gut. I should have known that our promises were long forgotten. He took my innocence and told me it shouldn’t have happened. That hurts, but nothing hurts more than learning you’re pregnant with your best friend’s child and you can’t tell him because he is in love with your friend. !Daily updates!

“Your body betrays you, Sera. I can feel the heat between your legs. You look so pretty when you're desperate to be fu.cked.” Artemis whispered darkly into my ear, pushing my panties aside and sliding his finger into my wet core. *** In the hallway of a werewolf high school, Seraphina defies all rules by becoming the first human to run with the wolves. But it doesn't take long before she becomes the object of Artemis' dark obsession, his hatred and desires. Forcefully marked and claimed as his own, she's forced to share a dorm room with the brooding Alpha prince and play the role of his fake lover. As their charade deepens, a dangerous chemistry ignites, blurring the line between hatred and desire. *** Join my Fa. ce. book gro. up for the update schedule, character face claims, and lots of fun: NADIA'S WOLF DEN.

At the height of my love for Seth Scott, he gave his heart to someone else. The winter chill seeped through the walls, and I lay beneath my blankets, trembling through the long, dark hours. He was out there, holding another woman close, warming her feet against his chest. He dismissed me as dramatic, refusing even a final glance. But what he didn’t realize was that I was dying. And he would never have the chance to see me again.

Ever read a story that made you laugh and cry hard?Jace Roger is the world's biggest flirt and has always succeeded in getting what he wanted with little to no effort at all. He just knew all the right moves and all the right words to say when it came to getting women to do what he wanted. His perfect bachelor world crashes when Ashley comes into his sights. When he is denied and given no reward for his efforts, Jace begins to fear that he has met his match. Determined to get Ashley to at least notice him, he spends every waking moment unleashing every trick in the book to get her to fall for him. In his mission of a lifetime, he begins to discover the very meaning of life and what it means to actually try and put effort in a relationship. Jace's world is turned upside down and he has no idea what to do next. Will he run for the hills in the end or will he begin enjoying her play Hard To Get?

[R-18] No Rape. On her wedding day, he kidnapped Anna; when she woke up, she discovered herself on an unknown island, in the middle of an ocean. She tried her best to escape from there. But will he let that happen since he finally got her after so long? What will be her reaction after seeing him? Will she fall apart? Anna refused to do that; she tried to stay strong with her hatred for him these years. But will he let her keep hating him, or something going to change between them, but how, since he hid so many secrets from her, can she accept everything when the truth comes to light? What she's going to do when she's bound to know some truth, she never imagined her dream. Follow me on Insta to learn more about my work "tsi-author-official."

Luka was the best Alpha the Brightwater Pack ever had. That is, until he loses his mate and everything comes crashing down. Having lost everything he loved and his one real reason for living, he attempts suicide on a human territory, when Victoria intervenes and ruin his plans. She makes it her duty to help the man that 'couldn't be saved', after he constantly refuses her help. What happens when she uncovers his secrets one by one? Will Victoria give up on him, or will she surprise them both? Who would've thought that she could save him just in the nick of time? Or does she....

Damien was in love with Emma for as long as he could remember. His love for her was pure and he could do anything for her and he hoped to confess to her how he felt but as they say, not everything in life goes the way we want. On hearing about her upcoming wedding, his pure love for her turned into an obsession and vowing to make her his at any costs.

Maya had never imagined one day she would be babysitting her ex-fiance's son- the very fiance she had begged to call off their wedding on the eve of their big day. After few years Maya finally escapes her abusive marriage only to collide with Dante. Dante Martinez is a man of few words. He is ravishingly handsome and is a top businessman. He doesn't talk much, he only has one friend and prefers to live alone. People dub him a cold CEO because no one has seen him smiling, not even a crack. He had a baby through surrogacy after his first love- Maya Diaz left him on their wedding eve. However, things begin to take an interesting turn when she returns all of a sudden. She asks him to let her stay with him until she finds a place to stay. Little does she know Dante has always been in love with her. He offers her to babysit his son and she takes up the offer. The more she stays with him, the more she realizes he is more than his cold exterior. There is a beautiful heart throbbing underneath his icy facade. The attraction between them intensifies, leading to the inevitable question: How long can two people who are immensely attracted to each other can resist the pull?