Good Fat Jokes

"I believe we spoke on the phone today. I hope everything is in order?" As smooth in person as on the phone I turned and was met with the full force of his good looks. Just have me right now my inner wolf screamed. Dark rich hair, just long enough for a few curls to tease his forehead, coffee-coloured eyes, and olive skin. Several inches taller than me and was built like a Greek statue. Perfection. The crushing disappointment of his good looks hit me. He was definitely a shifter and therefore totally, immediately and forever off limits. Human’s just never look that good. Selene doesn't want a mate. She's ambitious, determined and independent. To end up shackled to a man who won't support her dreams like her sisters is her worst nightmare. The mate-bonds monthly heat, overwhelming lust-fuelled insanity terrifies her control-freak nature. Rocco doesn't want a mate either. Running a buzzing casino gives him ample opportunity to sleep with all the beautiful human women the city has to offer. Shifters are a hassle. Even beautiful, blonde haired wonders like Selene. Yet when their paths cross sparks fly. However the local Alpha loves taking proud women down a peg, his head Beta desires Selene and Rocco wants to kill them both. They are fighting against the very thing that may keep them alive as the cruelty of the pack's leadership turns against Selene. Her trick of hiding in a hotel and lying to her family every full moon can only last for so long...

Sharlynn Carter lived quietly in Hollow hills for two years and her only problem as a seventeen year old was how to earn money to support her family. But when three supernatural families; the Ridge, Toody and Saunders return to Hollow hills, her life takes a drastic turn when they realize that she is the very person they have been searching for for five centuries. As she tries to elude death, friendships are formed, enemies identified, intoxicating romance develops and as war breaks out, Sharlynn discovers who she is and why exactly she should be feared as the reincarnation of the Tri-mate goddess. The hunted becomes the hunter.

My three-year-old son looked nothing like my husband. Suspicious, my father-in-law secretly took my son for a paternity test. The results showed that there was no biological relationship between them. Furious and humiliated, my father-in-law erupted in anger, hurling insults at me and even threatening to kill us. My husband, just as enraged, slapped me hard across the face. "You shameless wrench! You've made me raise another man's child for three years!" As I stared at their accusing faces, I calmly produced another report—the paternity test between my husband and his father. It confirmed they weren't biologically related either. Their expressions froze in shock. With a faint smile, I said, "Looks like we don't know for sure who isn't part of this family, do we?"

“You better be as long as the lengths you go to avoid me.” “Miss Patterson?!” he sounds flabbergasted. My eyes start to adjust to the darkness and I see that he is at the far corner, sitting on one of two seats in the room. “Is that what you’ve chosen to call me? Can you moan that?” “Miss Patterson!! I am your priest! You ought not to show up like this in front of me and say vulgar things to me.” He tries and fails to sound stern. He was practically drooling. “Yet all you want to do is clasp your hand on my chest and listen to me sing praises to you.” “You are of the devil.” I nod, “I’ve been called worse. But is it okay for a priest to moan about the devil while inside me?” “Will you stop??” “I will, after I’ve had my fill with you.” Melanie Rose Patterson wants her priest, and will stop at nothing to get into his pants. Because no matter what his mouth says, his body wants her. What Melanie wants, Melanie always gets... until now.

Grace was living her normal life with a decent job in New York City until she met Aldrik Kingsley the CEO of the Kingsley architecture and design. Aldrik was orphan who has worked hard to reach on the top of the world. Their journey starts when Aldrik's past decided to came back to him and Grace accidentally become a part of it. They don't have any other choice but to face it together. Is it was a accident or their fate decided to bring them together. Join Aldrik Kingsley and Grace Alder to see what fate has planned for them.

I was just a normal girl, despite not being human. Growing up my life was shitty, but still I was glad to be alive despite how dead I felt inside. There wasn't a single person in the world that I could trust. Not a single person that I cared for. Until HE came. My boring life soon vanished, werewolves hunt me from all corners of the earth. Rogues,Alphas, and kings alike. I was kidnapped, despite him telling people differently. Everyone told me he was a monster, the beast that never loved, he didn't feel pain, or remorse. For a while I believed the stories and rumours, until I came to realise that the beast simply acted on the assumptions of others. They called him a beast. They treated him like an animal. So the animal he became. But I could see the pain, the agony that he feels every day of his life. Unable to see the world in colour ever again, completely blind in human form. Slowly I was falling for the Lycan, not realising that he was waiting to catch me.

KEIRA I had just limited time left to waste my tears on a man that didn't deserve me. I'm making the most out of my life before I finally die. I'm going to try everything I have been hindering myself from doing because I was busy being the good girl. When I saw him at the bar that night, he ignited a spark I couldn't quench. A fire only I knew how it burned through me. He was twice my age but I didn't care. I wanted him and I knew it. I had just activated a new me and I'm loving it. I made the first move and his dominating aura took over. “I like your spark Bambi and I think I know what a lady in distress needs” He rasped, his voice lacing with possessiveness that sent shivers down my spine. GEORGE My heart leaped for Joy the moment she pecked my lips. I never thought she would have this so much effect on me. Every ounce of me desired her. She was so hot. I couldn't take my eyes off her after meeting her at the bar that night. Even after realizing she was my son's ex-wife, I was determined to make her mine and she was just about falling into my trap.

«Verily, after every difficulty is ease».«I plan, You plan, We all plan but Allah's plan is the best». ~**~"Yeah, I know. I was your wife before but now I'm my husband's wife. And if you really love me as you said, you will let me go because I've let you go a long time ago. If you really love someone, you will do anything or everything for his or her happiness even if it means you let go" I wrote and mouthed to my husband "let's go". My husband carried me out in bridal styles leaving him who was crouching on the floor crying his bleeding heart out. ~**~No one is perfect, we mistakes, we break, we give up, we failed and we succeed. Follow Sophia through the journey of her life with every pains, twists, cries, betrayals, loves, hardship, revenges, heartbreaks emotional rollercoasters.

Just Right - It’s my birthright to go to Beta Academy. No matter what my stepmother thinks. According to her, I’m not worthy, as I am not the child of a fated union. But as the daughter of the Beta. I am guaranteed a place. Days before, my 18th birthday. I meet an Alpha Wolf who makes my life a little less boring. One day, he’s hot-headed and harsh. The next, he’s gentle and sweet. Is he the man for me? Who knows? Who cares? I just want a little fun before I leave. Because that is when my life will truly begin. Beauty Sleep - To keep her safe from Millicent. Ora’s parents trust three guardians to care for their daughter until her 18th birthday. Taken to an undisclosed location, Ora grows up under the careful supervision of her guardians in the human world. Following a fatal attack on their home. Ora and her last remaining guardian find themselves at Beta Academy. This is when Ora finally finds out the truth about herself and why she has lived a sheltered life. Can her guardian fulfill her oath and keep Ora safe, or will Millicent find her? Cold as Ice - As if being responsible for my parent’s death wasn’t traumatic enough. Millicent the witch that murdered them wants me for my powers. My only hope is for me to kill Millicent before she kills me. Leaving my sister and my home behind, I embarked on a quest for revenge. Now I’m older, wiser, stronger. But I’m still not strong enough. I need allies. To rid the world of the most wicked witch the world has ever known. If we fail. It’s not just my loved ones who will suffer. Everyone will.

"Where will you hide, doll?" His deep raspy voice resonated in an empty, dark classroom. Her heart thudded in her ears. Her feet involuntarily moved back, shoulders shrinking in fear as he took threatening steps towards her like a predator. "N-no..." She stuttered, chin-wobbling, lips trembling. The certainty of her being alone in the presence of this beast-like man had her legs going jello. Emma was scared. So damn scared. "You can't deny me, Belle. I'm your mate. You're fucking mine!" He growled. * Emma Belle Richardson is a 17-year-old nerd who dedicates herself to schoolwork and books rather than socializing. She doesn't have any friends and is an outcast. She has more to her than anyone can imagine. She prefers to stay under the radar, but what happens when she'll catch the eyes of the man who will cause catastrophe in her peaceful life. Xander Colt is a 27-year-old mysterious man with extremely good looks. There was nothing known about him. The Greek God-like man with sharp green eyes, and dark tattoos, who could easily be considered a top-notch model or a beast-like warrior came as a mathematics teacher in the middle of a semester. Strange wasn't it! Naive girl Alpha male Erotica Hot Romance Student and Teacher Werewolf Warning ️ 18+