Good Roast Lines Novels & Stories

I was sent back in time to the very day my sister and I had to choose our mafia husbands. This time, though, I discovered I could hear people’s thoughts. In my previous life, my sister married Caspian, a violent brute. She lived every day in fear, trapped in a nightmare she could never escape. I, on the other hand, married Arnold—the gentleman everyone admired, living a life others envied. However, my sister had also been sent back in time, and this time, she made her move first. She chose Arnold, the “perfect husband” she had always coveted. At that moment, her thoughts echoed clearly in my mind. ‘Elysia shall suffer instead. This time, I’ll make sure I choose the good husband first.’ Her malice was unmistakable. My dear sister, did you really think I was happy in my last life? Since you want that life so badly, I’ll hand it to you myself.

At the New Year's Eve dinner, my mom suddenly assigns some rules to me and my siblings. She claims that those who don't fit the criteria aren't allowed to eat at the table. Rule number one: One must have spent at least 50% of their time keeping Mom company at home last year. Rule number two: One must have gone shopping with Mom all the time. Rule number three: One must keep giving Mom allowance. But it appears that I, the oldest sibling, am the only one who doesn't meet the requirements. My little sister, Chelsea Cage, begins acting coquettish immediately. "All Cassidy cares about is her business, unlike me, Mom! I care about you!" Meanwhile, my younger brother, Cameron Cage, lectures me with a frown, "What's the point of you being able to earn more money than average people? No matter how good a breadwinner you are, the fact that you don't care about Mom completely nullifies it!" My mom tells my siblings to sit around her happily. Then, she criticizes me in a sarcastic tone. "As parents, when we become old, what we need is our children's company, not cold hard cash." I'm pissed off, to say the least. I'm the breadwinner of this family, and yet these freeloaders get to put on airs in front of me. The reason why I don't go shopping with my mom is that she's never satisfied with whatever gifts I've picked out for her during the times I did go out with her. That's why I gave her money straight away. I didn't give my mom any allowance at all because all the money is regularly deposited into the supplementary card, which she has. Since my long-term efforts are worth nothing compared to my siblings' sweet talk, I suppose I can quit being the ATM of this family.

I came home from abroad to save my nephew's company from going bust, and also to attend his wedding with his sweetheart. But just as the banquet was about to start, a barrage of comments suddenly popped up before my eyes: [Thank goodness the sweetheart is clever and came up with the idea of framing the substitute for poisoning! The male lead will definitely be over with the substitute after this!] [Exactly! So what if the substitute has stayed by his side for ten years? The male lead still loves his sweetheart the most!] Elaine Geston, decked out in a luxury wedding gown, strutted up to me with her nose in the air, looking smug. "So you're the woman Nolan has cherished for ten years? I hate to break it to you, but you're just a substitute for me! You should get lost if you know what's good for you!" I glanced down at my phone, checking the stock prices, not in the mood to deal with her. She suddenly looked shocked. She picked up one of the two glasses of wine prepared for the newlyweds, sniffed it, then pointed a finger at me and yelled, "What a vile woman! You actually poisoned the wine! Just because Nolan loves me, you want to kill us both!" Hearing this, the security guards instantly surrounded me, looking hostile. I was totally baffled. I pointed at my nephew, who was chatting with guests outside the venue, and said, "What substitute? Ask your husband if he dares to treat his own aunt as a substitute. Does he want his whole family to beat him up? Does he want his company to go bankrupt?" The comments went wild. [Oh crap, she's not a substitute but his aunt? The sweetheart's messed up big time!]

In the final minute before the exam, my childhood friend, the one who was supposed to bring both of our exam documents, handed in only his own admission ticket. When it was my turn, his hands were empty. He said matter-of-factly, “Your exam ticket and ID aren’t here. Skip a subject and give your Cornell slot to Summer.” I froze. I couldn’t believe he would sabotage my college exam just to help Summer. Summer Hayes was the class beauty, but my grades had consistently outshined hers throughout high school. I looked at the boy I had known for eighteen years. Anger and disbelief bubbled up, making me laugh bitterly. Then I turned and walked away. Behind me, Jason Turner shouted, exasperated. “You are so good at school. So what if you repeat a year? “And now you are skipping the exam on a whim. How will that make Summer look? Are you really letting everyone think she forced you?” I didn’t even glance back. Skipping the exam on a whim. He had no idea. Two weeks ago, I had already secured an Early Admission spot in Harvard’s Physics Talent Program. Coming to the college entrance exam today was just a gesture of our eighteen-year friendship, going through the motions with him. Since he didn’t care, that friendship ended here.

When the girlfriend of my childhood friend, Shane Sheridan, comes over for the first time, I help to prepare a feast to welcome her. Lydia Forestwood glances at the garlic butter shrimp and suddenly flies into a rage. "You deliberately made something I'm allergic to! You want to embarrass and badmouth me in front of my boyfriend so you can take my place. Stop dreaming! If he were ever interested in you, then I wouldn't be here." I'm confused and quickly explain that his mom broke her leg and asked me to come and help. I also explain that I already have a fiancé and have zero interest in Shane. She lets out a cold laugh. "Stop playing hard to get. I can spot a scheming woman in a glance. You cling to my boyfriend shamelessly by claiming to be his close childhood friend every day. It's disgusting! "Take a good look at yourself. You're old and ugly. What man would ever want you? If there's one, he'd have to be blind." Shane is holding back laughter the whole time. Just as I clench my fists, ready to lose my temper, he wraps an arm around his girlfriend and shows off smugly. He says, "She has a sharp tongue, doesn't she? Finally, there is someone who can put you in your place. You won't be able to bully me from now on." I stare at his indifferent expression and slap him hard across the face. "Get lost! Both you and your girlfriend aren't even worthy of my time!"

The new security guard watching over the neighborhood is a university student named Jake Gould, who happens to be sponsored by my wife, Jenna Hudgens. My mother-in-law's illness suddenly gets triggered for no reason. But Jake has the audacity to have my car clamped over the excuse that I've illegally parked it. I'm worried that my mother-in-law's condition will take a turn for the worse, so I quickly call an ambulance. But as soon as I leave the apartment block, I see the ambulance's tires getting clamped down as well. Furious, I yell, "How dare you clamp an ambulance! If anything happens to Mom, I will never let you off the hook! Now unclamp the ambulance right now!" Jake looks at me with an aggrieved expression. "Mitch, I was just doing my job according to the policy. Can you please not make it difficult for me to do my job?" Jenna begins shifting the blame to me coldly. "Jake is a newbie, which means he must be listening to his boss' instructions. Why are you acting like a madman for no reason? "Besides, your mom seems to be in good health. Why does she even need an ambulance, to begin with? From the way I see it, she's just kicking up a fuss!" At that moment, the doctor suddenly yells, "The patient's heart has just stopped! She won't make it if we don't go to the hospital right now!" Jake's expression goes stark white immediately. He then rushes off to remove the clamps.

Three years after Alpha King Damien Caldwell marks me, Drake Whitaker finally remembers I exist. Turns out he really believes I'll "wait for him forever." Twenty black SUVs clog the private road into Ridgefield pack territory, trunks crammed with moonstone jewelry, old talismans, and rare herbs. Drake steps out of the tricked-out Hummer, wearing a smug smile and clutching a stack of parchment contracts. "Aria," he calls up, like some medieval knight, "I told you once the Silvermoon Coalition was official and Kenneth's supply lines were stable, I'd bring you to my pack. "The High Council finalized five packs yesterday. I came first thing this morning to show you I mean it." I sit in the upstairs study, watching a video Damien just sent of him playing with our son, then glance through the blinds at the ridiculous scene unfolding below. Drake lifts his face toward the second floor. "I know you're upset, but Kenneth controls the biggest timber in the Eastvale region. I had to mark Isabella. It was politics. You get that. Feelings don't need a mark anyway. I'll treat you better than a Luna." His words made my skin crawl. I pressed the intercom button on the desk. "Clear the drive. Tell security someone's trespassing." What a day! I've just taken my son to the medical center for his one-month checkup. Damien sends me back to Ridgefield pack for a week to rest. Instead, I get this mess on my doorstep.

On the day of our wedding, Henry Zander, my fiance, gets his legs broken in a car crash in his attempt of playing the knight in shining armor who intends to rescue the damsel in distress. So, I terminate our wedding on the spot. Both families surround me, trying to convince me to prioritize the bigger picture. My future mother-in-law cries her heart out as she takes my hand. "Winona, Henry got crippled because of his acts of heroism! He's the real hero here! If you head over to the hospital and take good care of him from now on, we'll still be a family!" My mom hugs me as well, her voice lowered. "You're still pregnant with the Zanders' heir, Winona. Do you have the heart to deliver your baby to this world without a father in their life? Hurry up and apologize to the Zanders so that this incident can be water under the bridge!" My dad acts more impulsively by slapping me on the spot and calling me an insensitive bastard who humiliates the family. Regardless, I walk over to the emcee calmly and pick up the microphone. "I'll give the 880-thousand-dollar wedding gifts meant for Henry and me to the driver involved in this car accident."

I was the top repair specialist at a luxury goods store. Ninety percent of the shop's revenue came from my work alone. In three years, I turned a run-down little shop on the brink of closing into a nationwide chain. All because I clocked in two minutes late one morning, the newly appointed supervisor, Tom Menzie, locked the front doors and announced he was taking everyone on a company trip. I asked why no one bothered to tell me. Tom sneered, "Well, those who can do more are trusted with more. We're going on vacation. You stay and work overtime. If you can't handle it, then get the hell out!" I was so mad that I laughed. I called the owner directly. "I heard you're firing me."

The day before my fifth wedding anniversary to my husband, the jewelry store manager called me. He reported that the expensive jewelry I had commissioned for my husband had been accidentally damaged by the staff. However, the shop was willing to pay a penalty for breach of contract. He hung up before I could lose my temper. I immediately received a message from my husband and $6 million in compensation. [So you're the shameless homewrecker. How dare you keep my husband's contact information! I'm warning you: I've given you the money, now get lost! Otherwise, I'll have to teach you a lesson!] The woman smugly sent me an intimate photo to follow up on her threats. Looking at the familiar side profile, I immediately called my biological parents, who were high-ranking businesspeople. "Dad, Mom, put the Shelby family's investment on hold for now. I'm getting a big gift ready for them!"