Novel & Cerita Hopelessly Obsessed

Not like now, where I can’t replay his images of him in my head. I walk out the door not forgetting to delete my Reddit account. It's better to forget it all. I'm driving home but those words still echo in my mind. “Never get obsessed again, son. Don’t get caught.” Aunt Sarah had made sure she ingrained those words into my head and those very words have been my mantra for years. I should take a step back, because, holy fuck, this whole obsession thing is new. I didn’t know I could be this hyperfixated on a person until it becomes a noose that’s getting tighter around my throat with each passing day.

Hayden snapped, his voice sharp like broken glass. I stood there, staring at my hands. My skin was sticky now from his blood. It was on me. His pain. His choices. All of it bleeding onto me like it somehow belonged to both of us. “There’s something wrong with you, Hayden. I don’t think I can handle this. I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself, or to me.” My voice lowered. “Why would I want to waste my life because of Maddox?” His head snapped up. His jaw clenched hard enough that I could see the muscles twitch.

Ethan’s hands twitched on his thighs but he didn’t stop her. She moved through them fast.delete, delete, delete. until the folder emptied. Then she opened his account. The newest post was still live. She handed him the phone. “Take it down. All of them.” He hesitated for maybe five seconds, then started removing posts. Each time the confirmation screen popped up he tapped yes without argument. When the last one vanished he set the phone on the comforter and looked up at her. “I got jealous,” he said. “Every time some guy stared too long I wanted to show them what they couldn’t have. Then it stopped being about them and started being about the numbers. I got greedy.”

“The look in your eyes says you want more than just partnership.” I rolled my eyes and let out a scoff at the same time. “You just keep twisting my words, man.” I placed my glass down. “I have no interest in Jolene. She just happens to be everywhere. That’s why I’m always talking about her, making me seem like an obsessed teenager.” I shook my head. “No matter how much I talk about her and the whole Beaumont-Whitmore situation, it doesn’t mean that I’ve suddenly started liking her or that I want her back in my life.”

I could imagine a thousand scenarios with him and me in that small studio and never stop the fantasies. Each visit, I got a little more obsessed; each visit made me just a bit more scared of myself, yet I was like a drug addict hooked on fentanyl... as much as I wanted to stop, my body was stronger than me. My feelings, my mind, everything worked against my will. So I was just left standing there... behind my canvas, dreaming about him and painting the interpretation of that on the white fabric in front of me. And then, one day, I got my opportunity.

Lily's POV An alarm that shrieked at 6:00 a.m. like it had a personal vendetta against her peace. A five-minute internal argument about quitting life and becoming a houseplant. A cold shower that attacked her like it had been waiting all night to do exactly that. And finally the ritual. A silent, desperate plea to the universe. Please. Not a bad mood today. Not even a good one. Just… neutral. Neutral is fine. Neutral I can work with.

She used me for her pleasure and when she came, I was the one high, not her. Now, I'm in a position where I'm even more pitifully obsessed with her. I'm so desperately obsessed that I don't mind going to extreme lengths or taking extreme measures just to make sure she ends up with me. I had no idea how possible it was for someone to be this obsessed, especially someone who claims to feel nothing at all but I'm utterly addicted and consumed by her. Do I have a plan on how I can get myself out of this mess? Not by a long shot. I just know that I would rather kill every breathing man than allow her to be with anyone else but me.

I promised myself. I squeezed the piece of mirror even harder, ensuring it dug into my palm. Being drunk hadn't been enough to help control my emotions, however, hurting myself was the solution. Yes, I was ready for this. They had to know this one thing; Celina had just gotten started. Indeed, I was a lunatic; I was living in my obsession; injected with my obsession, as well, ready to die in my obsession. Again, I'd say, Celina just got started. ***

I said. “Yeah well now I’m pissed because why have you not eaten. I’m very sure that twat Ife is responsible for this. I’m sorry baby..” he said and put his hand on my face. I almost flinched away but man, I was trying very hard to be very careful with this man. He was going to snap if I did anything stupid. In his eyes I could see someone who was deranged. His mind was broken at this point. He was troubled. This frantic pursuit of me was not because he loved me but it was much deeper than that. He was obsessed. And obsession could make people do crazy things that they in their right mind would not normally do.

I walked to the casket of both my mother and Caramel, letting out all the words that I needed to let out. "Don't worry, everything will be fine." Someone said, patting my back from behind. I didn't bother to further know who the person was when I looked at the person but only nodded and moved away, returning to my seat. Justin, how could you?! I shook my head, still finding it difficult to believe that Justin could murder my loved ones just so he could have me. What sort of stupid obsession was this? Why couldn't he just let me be and let's go our separate ways?