Humor Quotes Funny

A businessman. A stalker. An FBI agent. What do they have in common? Unfortunately, they all have ties to Evangeline Becker. A sassy, no filter, attention seeker author who has dated almost every man in the entertainment sector. The prettier they are, the more determined she is to make them like her. But when they eventually do, she discards them faster than anyone can say run. However, when she meets Mason, the tables turn. She finds herself falling for him and is desperate to make him love her back. But there's one teeny tiny problem. She can't let him find out who the real woman behind the mask is. Will Eva take off the mask and let Mason see the real her or will she do what she always does when relationships start getting serious? Run

Heiress Jovie Wimberly has a stealing problem. She steals from stores, people, and even her parents. When she's sent to group therapy to get to the root of her issue, she doesn't count on stealing Reno's heart. Reno Valenzuela has a gambling problem. He's lost all his money to casinos, horse races and ridiculous bets. What he doesn't bet on is falling head over heels for Jovie. When Reno's debt catches up with him and Jovie decides to leave her fiance, they head on a cross country trip to save Reno's life. With hitmen and Jovie's fiancé after them, they embark on a crime-filled, life changing journey that might actually change them for the better. Will the hitmen get to Reno? Will Jovie's fiancé bring her back home? Should they have just stayed in group therapy?

IT WAS late afternoon when Andy began to pick up the clothes she had hung up this morning, but she stopped what she was doing when she heard shouts and footsteps outside their backyard as if those people are in a hurry. So she peeked through the hole in their wall that is already brittle. But to her surprised, someone suddenly jumped out from the outside and entered their yard-- a man wearing a black hoody jacket. "W-who are you?!" Andy managed to ask, so the man turned slightly to her which caused her to see the man’s face. "Shit," that's all the man said and ran away... carrying her... "Hey, shit! My panties, give them back to me!" Andy shouted but he didn’t look at her again. Her panty which was hung outside was taken by a stranger. And now, the question running to Andy’s mind is… ‘Who’s that guy who stole my panty?’

Calvin walked unsteadily towards Emily with a sly grin. A faint smile remained on his lips until Calvin stood right in front of Emily. "Is there something wrong if I change clothes in my own room?" Calvin stopped right in front of Hasna without breaking their eye contact at all. "After all, we are husband and wife, it's fine for me to be naked in front of you, right?" Calvin teased as he pried open Emily's hands which were still covering her face. "I'm not ready yet, Calvin, will you shut up your finches first?" Emily demanded, still keeping both hands covering her eyes. "Hahaha, this is Emily's eagle, not a finch," Calvin corrected because he felt insulted if the heirloom weapon he had carefully guarded for 29 years was called a finch. "Come on, open it! Take a look at my eagle!"

[WWARNING: MATURE CONTENT] "I... I'm not sure what I'm asking for," Serena admitted. "But I know I want you. Even if it scares me to death." Her voice trembled slightly. His hand covered hers, pressing it more firmly against his hardened length. "Tell me to stop. Tell me now, or I won't be able to hold back." his tone was both a challenge and a plea. Serena swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest at the electric tension between them. "I don't want you to stop," she breathed, barely recognizing her own voice. His eyes darkened even more. So much so that the ambers in them completely disappeared. He gnashed his teeth so hard as he fought for control. Serena could feel the tension radiating off him in waves like a spring ready to snap. "You don't know what you're doing to me," he growled roughly. She bit her lip, both thrilled and intimidated by the raw need in his voice. Her fingers trailed along the hard line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. "Show me," she challenged. His breathing grew even more ragged. Serena could see the struggle on his face - the battle between his overwhelming desire and his need to protect her from his own intensity. "I could hurt you," he warned again. "I'm not sure I can ever be gentle with you. I’m rough. My kind of sex is brutal." --------- Serena's life hit rock bottom when she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She decided to lose herself in a bar, hoping to wash away her pain. However, life has this funny way of messing up plans – she ended up in a one-night stand that only added more trouble to her already chaotic reality.

"Life and Death are like green and red: you can't be both, but you can be neither. " Will you accept if you were given a chance to live forever? Or would you rather live with the fact that life ends with death? For Simon, there is no other choice than to live until everyone dies. All he wants is to be dead, but how?

Reese gets rejected by her mate on her eighteenth birthday. She vows not to let the rejection rule her but her father has other ideas. Being rejected is a shame, one he intends to rectify when he agrees to the arranged marriage proposed by Alpha Troy Madden.Reese goes out with a plan. A one night stand to prove she can play the game as well as her playboy fiancé. Things don't go exactly according to plan and Reese soon finds herself in Black Claw territory.Troy Madden is not what she expected. He had intended to marry her to save his pack, but now she might just save him as well.Will Reese allow her heart to heal and give Troy what he needs or will she harden her heart after many truths are revealed?

"Please, I am in pain." My pleas fell on deaf ears as his grip on my hair intensified. "I know you felt it too, the connection between us. I want to make one thing clear," he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "Don't get any funny ideas. I can never mark you as my mate! You are a mere slave, and that is all you will be—a slave I can bed whenever I want." His finger trailed down my face and neck, pausing briefly at my bosom, which responded involuntarily. "Just like I will tonight," he snarled before releasing my hair. I immediately crumpled to the hard ground. Athena, an 18-year-old Omega, was offered to the cruel Alpha king by her stepfather, who cared nothing about her, in exchange for a debt he owed the king. Upon meeting the cruel Alpha king, Sebastian, they felt a connection that indicated they were each other's mate. The cruel king rejects her immediately and subjects her to his sexual pleasures. Torn and broken, Athena decides to flee the pack with her unborn child, as the cruel king's palace was not a fit place to raise her child. She vowed to give her baby all the love and care she was deprived of, even as a child, something it would never get from its father or his kingdom. What would happen when she falls right into the hands of a Lycan king in need of an heir? What would happen when Sabastain decides he wants her back? What would happen when she discovers a secret that would play a huge role in determining whether she lives or dies, one that has been hidden from her all her life? Find out in this thrilling werewolf romance novel, "Offered to the Cruel Alpha King."

Summer Haynes, a.k.a 'Ms. Clumsy'. A lazy Tomboy trying to get her crush's attention with the help from her former ex bully. This is not the best idea to start with...

How did this even happen? The girl whom she thought of as her best friend, the girl with whom she's sharing her room, is actually a guy? Hazel stood there with her feet rooted to the white marble floor, not even bothering to fake that utterly shook expression of hers by watching the handsome man dressed in woman's clothes. "She's a guy!?" Finally Hazel let it out straighning her mind. Tristan Sanchez is an undercover cop who by bad luck had to pretend as a sexy paino teacher According to his Cheif's orders. What would happen if the most dedicated and cold officer of the department falls in love with the clumsiest and cheerful girl ever. Can he complete his mission to find the culprit he's looking for? Or he will get distracted by the feeling called love.