Humor Quotes Funny

Calvin walked unsteadily towards Emily with a sly grin. A faint smile remained on his lips until Calvin stood right in front of Emily. "Is there something wrong if I change clothes in my own room?" Calvin stopped right in front of Hasna without breaking their eye contact at all. "After all, we are husband and wife, it's fine for me to be naked in front of you, right?" Calvin teased as he pried open Emily's hands which were still covering her face. "I'm not ready yet, Calvin, will you shut up your finches first?" Emily demanded, still keeping both hands covering her eyes. "Hahaha, this is Emily's eagle, not a finch," Calvin corrected because he felt insulted if the heirloom weapon he had carefully guarded for 29 years was called a finch. "Come on, open it! Take a look at my eagle!"

"Life and Death are like green and red: you can't be both, but you can be neither. " Will you accept if you were given a chance to live forever? Or would you rather live with the fact that life ends with death? For Simon, there is no other choice than to live until everyone dies. All he wants is to be dead, but how?

At the staff meeting, I was singled out and criticized by the supervisor. The supervisor said that someone had reported issues with my work attitude and demanded an immediate explanation. My face was displayed on the big screen at the meeting, subjected to public scrutiny. Just as I was feeling overwhelmed, the face of our boss appeared in my camera frame."Tell me what’s the problem.”

[WWARNING: MATURE CONTENT] "I... I'm not sure what I'm asking for," Serena admitted. "But I know I want you. Even if it scares me to death." Her voice trembled slightly. His hand covered hers, pressing it more firmly against his hardened length. "Tell me to stop. Tell me now, or I won't be able to hold back." his tone was both a challenge and a plea. Serena swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest at the electric tension between them. "I don't want you to stop," she breathed, barely recognizing her own voice. His eyes darkened even more. So much so that the ambers in them completely disappeared. He gnashed his teeth so hard as he fought for control. Serena could feel the tension radiating off him in waves like a spring ready to snap. "You don't know what you're doing to me," he growled roughly. She bit her lip, both thrilled and intimidated by the raw need in his voice. Her fingers trailed along the hard line of his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. "Show me," she challenged. His breathing grew even more ragged. Serena could see the struggle on his face - the battle between his overwhelming desire and his need to protect her from his own intensity. "I could hurt you," he warned again. "I'm not sure I can ever be gentle with you. I’m rough. My kind of sex is brutal." --------- Serena's life hit rock bottom when she caught her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She decided to lose herself in a bar, hoping to wash away her pain. However, life has this funny way of messing up plans – she ended up in a one-night stand that only added more trouble to her already chaotic reality.

(Completed short novel)Imperfection is a story of two souls joined together through an arranged marriage. A marriage that was supposed to yield both forgiveness and strength. A marriage that hold a lot of strings to their past. One that helped them find their roots. It's a story of two couples, —two wounded souls who healed just right together.

Vivienne Petrovna has an ordinary genius life in the Ultara Academy, but then something about her begins to change. A presence of a beautiful, yet mysterious girl comes into her school and insists on having her after she discovers one of life's biggest shocks. Going through a strange evolution called Awakening, Vivienne thinks it's the least of her trouble, until she's found out about her family secret and starts to realize the whole world is not what it seems. There are other predatory creatures living among humans- and worse, they want to destroy her.

"Please, I am in pain." My pleas fell on deaf ears as his grip on my hair intensified. "I know you felt it too, the connection between us. I want to make one thing clear," he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "Don't get any funny ideas. I can never mark you as my mate! You are a mere slave, and that is all you will be—a slave I can bed whenever I want." His finger trailed down my face and neck, pausing briefly at my bosom, which responded involuntarily. "Just like I will tonight," he snarled before releasing my hair. I immediately crumpled to the hard ground. Athena, an 18-year-old Omega, was offered to the cruel Alpha king by her stepfather, who cared nothing about her, in exchange for a debt he owed the king. Upon meeting the cruel Alpha king, Sebastian, they felt a connection that indicated they were each other's mate. The cruel king rejects her immediately and subjects her to his sexual pleasures. Torn and broken, Athena decides to flee the pack with her unborn child, as the cruel king's palace was not a fit place to raise her child. She vowed to give her baby all the love and care she was deprived of, even as a child, something it would never get from its father or his kingdom. What would happen when she falls right into the hands of a Lycan king in need of an heir? What would happen when Sabastain decides he wants her back? What would happen when she discovers a secret that would play a huge role in determining whether she lives or dies, one that has been hidden from her all her life? Find out in this thrilling werewolf romance novel, "Offered to the Cruel Alpha King."

How did this even happen? The girl whom she thought of as her best friend, the girl with whom she's sharing her room, is actually a guy? Hazel stood there with her feet rooted to the white marble floor, not even bothering to fake that utterly shook expression of hers by watching the handsome man dressed in woman's clothes. "She's a guy!?" Finally Hazel let it out straighning her mind. Tristan Sanchez is an undercover cop who by bad luck had to pretend as a sexy paino teacher According to his Cheif's orders. What would happen if the most dedicated and cold officer of the department falls in love with the clumsiest and cheerful girl ever. Can he complete his mission to find the culprit he's looking for? Or he will get distracted by the feeling called love.

Everywhere becomes silent as every single pair of eyes turn to us and although I'm used to attention, it's never been in this type of situation and I find myself wondering how to handle it. All worries fly out the window though when Hunter grabs my hand after locking his car. Murmurs erupt in every angle of the school ground at his actions and I glance at Hunter only to see a look of determination on his face. What is he up to? He suddenly turns me towards him and traps me against the car door. "You're right, we need to clear one misunderstanding" he states his breath fanning my face. "And what would that be?" I breath out already dazed by him. Get a grip Daisy, you're out in public! "That you are mine and all other boys can fuck off" He answers hoarsely just as he finally closes the space between us and takes my lips for a world-rocking kiss. ************* Daisy Heart is a friendly heiress with great friends who just wants to have a good high school experience. She thinks everything is beautiful except the heir to the Stone Empire: Hunter Stone. Hunter Stone is a playboy Heir who just wants to have a good time while young before responsibilities come knocking. He thinks everything is fun except the heiress to the Heart group of Hotels: Daisy Heart. After being forced into being partners and roommates for a school camp project, Hunter and Daisy are determined to make each other's life hell. The undeniable attraction between them certainly doesn't help. To make things worse, Hunter also knows that Daisy has feelings for his best friend. Sequel to series of fights, failed pranks and arguments, fate offers to deal a final blow to the situation. An arranged marriage.

"Help, please don't forget." Long ago, in the times of kings and queens. There was a school built inside a king's castle. It was made to educate the most intelligent children of the whole land. A girl named Kathleen gets an invitation to this school. This school was very secretive, with many rules. But the one main rule, not ever to be broken, never to disturb the King. Levi, King of the northern lands, lives a very lonely life. With only his brother to speak to. He has one massive secret-keeping him from the outside world. In order to maintain the high ranking of his kingdom and to cure this lonely feeling he can't help, he builds a school right in his large castle. With his own wing, just for himself. When Kathleen gets invited it was mainly for her musical talent. Being amazing at the Chello. But being that curious person she is she seeks into the King's wing. Knocking his large bedroom door. When the King opens she's presented with the most beautiful man she's ever come across. Then spending every night together after that. Being enchanted by each other. But with her grades dropping she's starts getting swamped with work. They start drifting apart. One year before her graduation she starts getting dreams about her time with the King. She starts investigating, uncovering memories, confronting the King about them. Will she be able to handle her school work, fall in love with the King once more. Will Kathleen be able to handle discovering all these secrets of the king, herself, and the kingdom or will it be too much? Will she leave it all behind? *Clean* ---------------------------