I Love Lucy Bloopers Novels & Stories

BETTY Lucy can barely finish her story before she starts laughing again, loud, messy laughter that turns a few heads from the next table. “I swear to God,” she says between gasps, “I looked at him dead in the eye and said, I think I have to go, and he probably thought it was because of him, you know? Like maybe he said something dumb. But no, I had food poisoning and literally ran out before I shit myself.” I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe, and a snort escapes me before I can stop it, making us laugh even harder until there are actual tears streaming down my cheeks.

“L-Lucy, did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Please tell me Lucy…” Lucy looked at me again then she suddenly laughed as she stood up in front of me. “Did something wrong? You’re asking me if you did something wrong, huh?” I slowly nodded. "Y-Yes..." I was just looking at her, waiting for her response when she suddenly laughed. "You are so funny!!"

When she’d improvised half her lines, her teacher had scolded her later, but she’d known that the laughs she’d gotten from the crowd were something she’d never forget. Now, though, she wondered if her kindergarten self would forgive her for taking the part of Crazed Menstruating Woman. It was a commercial for some PMS medication, and Lucy had snagged the part of a woman who couldn’t stop haranguing her poor husband, crying, and eating cheese puffs because she hadn’t had the foresight to pick up the medication at the local drugstore. “Cut! Lucy, can you really sob this time? Not just a few tears like you’ve watched a sad movie. I mean, crying because your boyfriend dumped you and your dog die

I am so confused. "Take a look at this." Lucy position her laptop properly and then she played a video for me. The camera was on me while I was laying on the bed then a lady was giving instructions to a guy but her face didn't show and the noise in the background makes it very difficult to detect who she is but then the guy came into focus, touched my leg and hovered over me. "Oh my God." But thankfully, the guy stopped when someone entered the room... I kept watching and listening till Lucy came into focus when she hit the guy with her heels. "Oh my God, thank you." I paused the video and gave Lucy a hug. " Thanks for coming to look for me."

Sarah said in approval. “Yes, imagine moaning his name in bed,” Lucy said, biting her lips, swooning over him, “yes, Lockwood, oh Lockwood,” Lucy sighed, her eyes closed in rapture as she continued to fantasize about him and Sarah and Stella began to giggle. It brought back endless memories of Brian and me together, like a sharp jab in the head. “Stop it, that is absolutely disgusting!” I snapped at Lucy. There was deafening silence in the room. Lucy's face went pale, and I knew she could cry any second now.

"You blew up a whole building, Lucy. You nearly killed the father of your child." "Oh, please. Tyler is not Leena’s father." A pause "Now that I have your undivided attention, I hope you understand that I’m not bluffing. That little firework in Brooklyn was just the tip of the iceberg, Sarah. I’m tired of being ignored." "You're crazy," I said, the word barely a whisper. "You need help, Lucy. Bring Caleb back. Give yourself up before this gets even worse." "Crazy?" Lucy laughed again, the sound turning hysterical, jagged and wild. "You haven't seen half of my craziness yet, Sarah. Not even a fraction."

I'm sure he would love to hear some little secrets about the woman with him. “You fool! Didn't you hear what the doctor said? Why are you still smiling to yourself? You're so brainless!” Lucy yelled at me before she roughly bumped her round body into my slender figure. It took me a great amount of self control to stop my hand from hitting the back of her head. Always looking for ways to insult me or body shame me. Fat cow!

"Now, I want you to say, lucy is the most awesome, most cool, badass girl, you have ever met met" "Lucy is the most awesome, most cool, badass girl, you have ever met!" I grin slightly, regaining strength to stand. She scowls at me. "You're unbelievable!" She says and storms off. "Bye lu-lu" I croak after her, in which she proceeds to give me her middle finger. I chuckle. * * * * * * "Hey man", "Yo, bro, what took so long?" Bradley asked as he took me in a man hug.

“You’re a horrible person! I pray you rot in hell for this.” “I haven’t done anything!” I snap back, my control breaking. “I’m always careful—Lucy, you know that! I would never get you pregnant.” “Of course,” Lucy laughs bitterly through her tears, wiping at her face. “Of course you would never make such a mistake.”

“If you had killed Malia, then I would be so sad that Hilda had died for nothing. Thank God you are at my mercy.” “Bastard,” Lucy cursed, making Hailey give her a resounding slap across the face. “I am a bastard ... .Fine,” Hailey spat. “At least I am not a senseless whore who was willing to end her life because of another man’s dick.” “He was so good, especially when his dick was stretching my pussy.” Lucy said and Hailey gave her another resounding slap across the face. “Let me show you a very beautiful video,” Hailey said and played a video on her phone.