Its Chewsday Innit Novels & Stories

"Put that shit away!" "Second," I said tucking the amulet back into my leather bodice. "Ain't nobody jealous of a woman whose man was so strung out, he was on the news for pissing in a Chuck E. Cheese!" "It was a Dave & Busters, bitch! Get it right!" "An adult Chuck E. Cheese." The clapping was probably unnecessary, but it felt good to watch the vein in her head throb. "Now why don't you just stop this Mean Girls level of bullshit and just sit down?"

“I have a very talented, big dick volunteer with me tonight.” “And who am I to you?” Simon questioned, making Chelle smirk. “My man with a big, pretty ass dick that I can’t wait to taste.” Simon tweaked her nipple as a reward for the correct answer. “That’s what I thought I heard you say.” “If you’re new here, I sometimes do product reviews from companies. Today’s product is a peppermint-flavored condom that I’ll be slurping off of this beautiful dick,” Chelle said, gripping his pole. She stroked him a few times, putting on a show for him and the people who’d see it in a few days.

I asked before bopping Chloe on the nose and getting her to giggle. “How are the comments?” Chloe asked. I turned the phone back with a sigh. “Lovely as usual, I’m sure.” GreyGoodies: Are we sure that’s Scott? You can hardly see him. Jane Dayviellers: I knew she was a slut. StylebookSchmybook: OMG her shoes. They’re 2 cute! Diamonds&Purlies: I have the Cavendish Monopoly set. It’s awesome. We should start a group to play online.

Right before the syndicate's power handover, I flew back to New York after a year of studying jewelry design in Europe. But the night before the ceremony, my secret boyfriend of three years—the Rossi family's new second-in-command—sent me a text: [Sorry, Chloe. I lost a card game, and you were my chip. You're his problem now.] Before I could even breathe, I got tagged in the family's encrypted dark-web channel. The top thread was blowing up: [The Mafia Boss Just Won a Fat Pig for a Girlfriend!] Pinned right at the top was an old photo of me from a few years ago. Back when I was 180 pounds. The comment section was ruthless: [If the Boss knew what he actually won, he'd regret making that bet.]

I didn’t see him in the kitchen, so I went to the living room. There he was, eating a bowl of chips while watching morning cartoons. It was still a little bit early, so his other family members must still be sleeping because I think the party ended pretty late. I sat down next to him and popped a potato chip in my mouth. “This isn’t healthy, you know?” I said while munching on the chips. He ruffled my hair and also popped a chip in his mouth. “Who’s eating these unhealthy chips with gusto then.” My cheeks bulged out from the chips in my mouth. I swallowed what was left in my mouth and jokingly glared at him. “You win this time. It’s been about a week since I’ve eaten junk food so consider th