May I Cry Now Novels & Stories

I don't know how long I sit on the floor, my body wracked with sobs, but by the time I finally muster the strength to pick up my phone and silence, it's incessant ringing; my eyes are bloodshot, and my voice is raspy from crying. I try my best to compose myself as I answer Luna Marely's call, not wanting to burden her with the depth of my pain.

“Have you… have you been able to cry?” I looked away, swallowing hard. The truth was, I hadn’t shed a tear ever since I found out I was left with nothing. There was a mountain of grief inside me, but it felt frozen, held back by the fear that if I started crying, I might never stop. “I have way too much to cry for,” I replied, my voice flat and bitter. “If I start, I don’t think I can stop anytime soon.” Mia looked at me, her eyes soft with understanding, but she didn’t push further. Instead, she placed a hand on my arm, squeezing gently.

I said quietly. Maya immediately looked up. For a moment, sadness crossed her face. Then she moved closer and sat beside me. “I know you do.” I stared down at the note. “There are so many things I wish I could ask her.” My voice cracked slightly. I hated that, I hated crying especially lately. Because it felt like I spent half my life crying these days. Maya wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “What would you ask?” she said softly. I laughed sadly. “Everything.”

Pathetic. I climb the stairs to our apartment and sigh once the door is opened and locked behind me. Silence greets me. Sliding down the door, I cradle my knees to my chest, tears soaking the knees of my jeans as I sob. One of those snotty, embarrassing cries. “Are you okay?”

But in the rain? Nobody knows you're crying away your pain. They can't hear the whimpers or sobs and they definitely can't see the fat tears running down my face. In rain, I'm free and can cry in peace. And weirdly that makes me slightly happy. I'm crying because I'm mourning, if that makes sense. I'm mourning the death of my old self, the loss of my family and friends, basically everything. “You're an asshole, Derrick!” A voice yells over the rain and I jump, shocked out of my thoughts. “I can't believe you. I gave you my milkshake and everything! Just yesterday, oh my god! You don't deserve such greatness.” The voice sounds female.

Feeling the urge to burst out crying. "You have no idea, the world would have been total chaos if you hadn't come out there tonight" I smile my tears away, but my tears are not actually going away so I just let myself cry. "What.. What's wrong? Did I say anything wrong?" Craig panics. "Step away from her." Liam growls. I shake my head, "No you said nothing wrong" I am wiping my tears. "I would never have thought" I shake my head. To be loved like this.

Now, I feel embarrassed in front of Kaye. Then I heard her chuckle and say, "No worries, I have no intention of asking you whatever you're going through right now... I hope that you will be able to get over it; I know you can do it, but if you can't handle it, I'm here to listen to whatever you have to say... in case you're ready or if not," Kaye held my hands tightly, then she looked straight into my eyes and smiled again, "it's still okay to cry."

Seeing her crying, he panics and rushes to wipe her tears. "Why are you crying? Is it because of me?” The more Malcolm asks, the more Mia cries. She wipes her tears and cries again, she does not know why she is crying anymore. “Come on… Don't cry, work is too hard for you? Or is it because I haven't called you to my room in a while?" The young man crouches down, his hands constantly wiping away tears. “I… don't know… I don't know why I am so weak… I can’t protect anyone, not even Luna… or myself”

And I'm sure because I can't imagine a future that doesn't have you in it. Quinn: And here I thought I couldn't cry anymore today. There you go, proving me wrong again. As usual. Leo: You're crying? Mia Quinn, why? I didn't want to make you sad. Quinn: You didn't. They're happy tears. Maybe relieved tears. Cleansing tears. Leo: Okay, babe. Have I told you I miss you? Quinn: Not today. Leo: I miss you. So much. Although if I'm going to tell the truth, not sure if I'd want you to see the pitiful, broken man I am just now. You might decide I'm not worth the effort.

“It's all my fault. Everything that happened to you is my fault; I should be the one dead. I'll never be happy, I promise to never be happy.” Tears kept streaming down my face, a quiet, soundless waterfall of sorrow. My body shook slightly, but my mouth was clamped shut, stifling any audible sobs. I cried silently, hiding my pain from the world, as if afraid to let others see the depth of my emotions. Each tear that fell was a testament to the weight I carried, a physical manifestation of the grief, hurt, or frustration that had become too much to bear. My eyes, red-rimmed and puffy, were the only giveaway, a window to the storm raging within.