Not In Love Novels & Stories

The man I love is getting married. And it isn't to me. I've been in love with Jonathan Lewis for as long as I can remember. I loved him as a girl. I loved him as a teenager. I loved him as an adult. I love him still. But he doesn't love me. In fact, I'm fairly sure he doesn't remember I exist. * * * “Something's wrong,” Julie says.

But he kept his hold on it, so with tears in my eyes I looked up. "Noor, just—" Ah—I couldn't forget him for even one moment, could I? Even now, I still remember every single detail, clearly etched on my mind. I loved him dearly, with all my heart and more than I thought I could love anyone. I loved him so much that sometimes the hurt of not being with him turned to physical pain. I missed him for every second that I spent away from him. But I have learnt that in life, after you give up on something, truly give up on it—then you don't care whether it's in your possession or not.

“Not a thing. You’ll get no argument out of me.” “So? Don’t get me wrong, I love you and love sharing a home with you. But what are you doing here if she’s on her way back to New York? Nick, talk to me. I don’t understand this at all. You are so obviously in love with her, and she with you. You do know that, don’t you?” “I know that,” he told her. “Love isn’t our problem.” “If you love each other, then you can work anything out.”

Raw and irrational and almost adolescent in its bitterness. He looked at Luca with open contempt. Then at Damon. And said the cruelest thing he could think of: “When he leaves you, you’ll deserve it.” Silence. Rain. Blood. Damon’s hand steadied. Completely. Because there it was. The thing Matteo had never understood and never would. Love was not leverage. Not a transaction. Not a cage. Not a debt. It was choice. Messy. Risky. Human. And the reason Matteo would always lose was because he couldn’t comprehend being chosen freely.

He looks at me assessingly for a moment and comments, "You must have had a really bad break up at some point." "No, I've never been in a relationship. I have no desire to be in love anytime soon. Maybe when I get older, but right now I know for sure that it's the last thing I want," I explain. He analyzes my expression for a moment then nods. He must see that this is make or break for me so he nods and says, "Done."

Goes back to his coffee like he wins something small and is choosing not to celebrate. Jonathan leans back and looks at us both with the warm certain expression of a man who makes up his mind about something. “I’m sorry,” he says, to the table as much as to us, “but you two are just genuinely in love, aren’t you.” The table laughs warmly. Adrian does not correct him. I do not correct him. We just look at each other for one second. Maybe two. And in that second something that has been building for four months simply, quietly, decides it’s done hiding.

I am happy in love. The End.

“Let's get back together, I mean the love, the affection,the feelings, let's fall in love and date again. This time not a contract marriage, let's be in a relationship” Noah sighed, “I am sorry, there's nothing like that anymore”

I love you. *