Original Star Trek Bloopers Novels & Stories

"I am not old, you little brat." "Then what are you?" Maddox taunts. I amusingly stare at them. They're so chldish. "I am your father." He states deeply. "Yep, my idiot of a father, and will you please stop stating Star Wars lines?" Maddox irritably says. He looks at me for help but I ignore his stare. "You're the idiot. FYI, its Star Trek not Star Wars, get your facts right Dumbo." Alpha Reddox snaps. "God you kids don't know anything."

‘Let’s get The Elvis back to port, and these little beauties to market! He made his way to the wheel-house, slapping the CD player on his way past; the air suddenly filling with bright 1950s rock and roll music. Jimbo cast his eyes to the gull-speckled sky, his intention to make some jibe to his skipper. But he never got the chance. No sooner had the CD kicked into life when the music became disjointed and garbled by bursts of heavy, hissing static.

"Besides, it's just a movie." "Just a movie?!", me and Jimin gasped along in surprise. "I'm telling you Trev, these two are the real chaos makers, not me," Nathan mumbled with a sarcastic smile, pointing his fork at me and then at Jimin. "I understand though." "Oh, I'm aware," Trevor bit back a grin. "but they sure as hell, weren't the one who blew up a whole microwave." He snorted, rolling his eyes when Nathan elbowed him.

Someone tried to joke that Nova Corp must've brought a broken laptop. One look from Keaton shut them up. A second later, the laptop powered back on. Everyone held their breath. The Nova Corp logo slowly appeared on the screen. Keaton and the others had just started to relax— Smoke poured out again. Then— Boom. The laptop exploded right in front of everyone. The room erupted in screams.

Blinking, I looked back and forth between the two in confusion as James made his way over, also chuckling as he sat down with us. “Shitting in people’s cereal again, Blaze?” He asked as he plopped his tray next to his friends. The look on my face must have been something because all three men and Noira burst out laughing even harder. “I thought I heard trouble,” Travis called out as he also made his way to join our group, sitting on the other side of Atlas. “What are you guys laughing about now?”

Tyler nodded encouragingly at him, but Spock just wagged his tail. “Spock, you had this a minute ago!” Tyler took a breath and then repeated the phrase. Spock just wagged his tail harder. “Fine, we'll do it your way,” Tyler conceded. He held the stick like a weapon and pointed it at Spock. “Pew, pew! You're dead!”

The laugh cut off instantly. I frowned, leaning forward on the sofa. Glitch, I told myself. Just a compressed audio error. I unpaused it. The movie continued, but the laughter returned a few seconds later, layered underneath the dialogue. It was mocking, a rhythmic he-he-he that seemed to pulse with a life of its own.

The very next second…“Pfft…” Someone couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. A ripple of muffled chuckles spread through the room. Stellar froze, bewildered, and turned to look at the projector screen, only to see an enormous turtle displayed across it. She stood there, stunned. "Miss Rivers, if you're having trouble with the design, no one’s going to mock you," Joy seized the moment to attack. "But what’s with the turtle? Are you trying to be funny, or do you just not take the project seriously?"

SAD FLUTE ACCURACY: 0%]. The response from the Audience was instantaneous. A wave of psychic laughter, like a billion surprised snorts, rippled through the narrative layer. Our viewer count on the react stream spiked. On screen, Zorval’s segment cut to a flashback—a dramatization of our first meeting. He had me tripping over a celestial root and falling into Jeff’s arms, while a choir of astral children hummed. “Oh, come ON!” I yelled, laughing despite myself. “I did not trip! He was blocking the hatchway with a faulty grav-spanner! I told him to move!”