Arrested Development Bloopers Novels & Stories

If Marcello ever did something, he did it thoroughly. I stepped closer to the screen. “Play it again.” The footage replayed, showing a meeting room. Not ours, though. A different one in a location, probably belonging to a different family. There were three men mid-conversation. Then, a flicker on the screen. Not static or signal loss. Just a clean cut. The image froze for about half a second, then shifted. The camera angle changed slightly higher and wider. Then he appeared. “Dad,” I muttered under my breath.

Reeves went back to the office that night. He didn't plan to. He was driving, halfway home, he turned around and without fully deciding to. Something about that margin note wouldn't leave him alone. He sat down, pulled up the footage from the station and ran it back. The night Angela and Sarah came in, he watched it once, then again and then stopped at the same place both times. Then he saw it…A glitch. It was too easy to miss if you weren't looking for it.

I mocked my own actions. Of course, I kept searching for any signs of him on the footage anyway. I found the moment when I had almost fallen on the floor while he'd been walking through the door. I had seen myself correcting the tilted bell and… the picture went black. The black screen stayed for about a minute of the recording, then some distortion appeared, and the footage went back to normal right after. “What the hell?!” I called, checking it for the third time, “Did he carry some wave disturbing device with him or something?!”

“Carlisle, are we no longer friends? Can't you offer me a seat?” I squinted my eyes at him. “My wife doesn't like you hence, I don't. So speak and then, you may leave.” He cleared his throat and then squared his shoulders. “First off, my detectives and I would like to apologize for the mistakes made during this arrest. Things were done in a haste and mistakes were made. We are all very sorry. You can be rest assured that things will be done in the right fashion this time around.” This time around, meaning that they were still coming after me. That was fine.

Daniel said nothing, just rubbed his temple as if a headache were blooming between his eyebrows. Ella’s soft voice tried to calm everyone down. “Let’s at least hear her out—” But before she could finish, chaos erupted again. Then someone screamed. “OH FUCK!” The yell came from the lower left corner of the screen, Maurice, the head of production. All shouting and questions halted instantly. “Maurice!” I snapped automatically. “watch your anguage.” He looked pale. Sweaty. Eyes wide. “I—I’m sorry, madam Cheryl, but—Mr. Aaron was arrested?”

I scoffed, seeing the small smile slip past his frigid lips. "I drink, and I know things!" we both repeated, breaking the tension between us. Narrowing my eyes on my brother, I took the phone and saw his bad mood ease a little. Squinting to look at the image on screen, it was a video, and I knew before I hit play that it was from the cameras we had installed in Aurora's apartment. I checked the time stamp and saw it was roughly fifteen minutes after our arrest.

I was already getting up as I said the words. “Again? You just peed not quite long again” Devin complained, but he was already picking up the remote to pause the movie. “Aire was sitting on my bladder,” I yelled the words over my shoulder on my way out of the living room. I couldn’t help but smile as I turned the corner and heard Devin say to Kim, “I’ll rewind the movie to where we were before you interrupted us.” I didn’t hear Kim’s retort, but I was sure they’d still be bickering when I got back.

The laugh cut off instantly. I frowned, leaning forward on the sofa. Glitch, I told myself. Just a compressed audio error. I unpaused it. The movie continued, but the laughter returned a few seconds later, layered underneath the dialogue. It was mocking, a rhythmic he-he-he that seemed to pulse with a life of its own.

*** After the wedding, the first to show up and apologize was that pack of trashy friends. Bruce was the one who knocked—bruised face, arm in a sling, eyes serious. The apology actually sounded real. I didn't need to ask what happened. I could guess. Henry stood beside me and said, "You don't have to forgive them." And he was right. I'd started college bright-eyed, full of potential... and slowly got dragged down by the jokes, the dares, the garbage Gideon and his crew pulled at my expense. Before they left, they dropped one last bit of news: Gideon and Olivia were done.

“Shoe size twelve or thirteen. Estimated from the shadow he cast—used Adriano for scale.” Adriano’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t interrupt. “Likely masked,” Jerry continued. “Speech is distorted. But I managed to enhance one clear phrase before the camera went down.” The room held its breath. “‘Sick fucks.’” A chill slid down my spine. “The rest of the audio is compromised—camera got knocked over, probably damaged in the fall and lens cracked. I’ll send through stills of whatever clothing I could pull and keep digging.”