Novel & Cerita Overthinking Kills Your Happiness

To protect the one I love, to harm the one I don’t. Hindsight is a bitch, I guess. And it doesn’t care to keep itself hidden. It’s times like now, when I have nothing better to do than watch Obsidian navigate the borders, that gives me time to think. Or overthink, as Lilith would put it. I think that’s an ailment I suffer from severely. Overthinking everything single thing I do. Did I breathe the wrong way? What did my facial expression reveal? Maybe k shouldn’t have started a conversation with that person, they’ll think I’m weird. Not worthy.

I can feel that they are looking at me while waiting for my answer. “Well, I want to be more courageous about the things I want to do in the next 3 months. I want to conquer all my fears to have an answer to my questions. Overthinking doesn’t help me and it makes me more stressed and frightened. All I want is while I am still alive, I want to do things I won’t regret when I die

I worry that my happiness may soon be replaced by sadness and grief. Although I don't want to go through it, I think that happiness derives from suffering and that happiness comes from pain. The three people actually feel what they do. Clifford and I simply exchanged nods before proceeding to our room. Additionally, I feel like I need to relax because I am growing fatigued rapidly. I was resting there after we had just left the hospital, but I was exhausted. I also worry much too much about unimportant stuff. I overthink things. And I felt so exhausted.

“As what I’ve said, Janice... If that person makes you sad, angry or even sorrowful or miserable every time you think about him, that means he’s not your love; that means he’s merely your obsession. In order to live happily, in order to live within relief as well as exhilaration, one merely thing you can do is to let go of that person.”

"Aleah, don't make things hard for Layne. He's already overwhelmed with work. You've pulled this breakup stunt so many times over the years. Are you only satisfied when he's exhausted? "No wonder Layne says he can only relax when he's with me. He always feels drained when he goes home." For two years, I had tried countless times to talk to Ruby. Her parents had died because of the Harper family. I had no reason to blame her for relying on Layne. I even hired one of the most famous psychologists to help her work through her trauma.

What if he's rude exactly five minutes after being nice to you? What if he's ignoring you after trying to suck your face? What if he texts and talks only when he needs something? What if his friends don't even talk about you to him? What the hell does all this mean? That means you are looking too much into things and spoiling your already spoilt mood. Overthinking causes more problems and kills your happiness. My mind answered.

It's a strange combination of happiness and sadness that defies explanation. When I'm with him, my happiness takes on a new dimension. It's not just the freedom I've been yearning for, but a profound sense of joy that is difficult to put into words. It's as if happiness itself becomes a liberating force in my life. There have been moments of sadness in my life, particularly when my dad fails to appreciate my efforts. But when I consider the possibility of not having met Karious, the sadness becomes even more poignant. It makes me question my own path and the choices I've made.

Yet here I am, drawing circles on her lower back as she drifts in and out of consciousness. Me, though, I'm wide awake. Sated, but awake. And I can't stop thinking about what Mari said earlier about being content. People always talk about chasing their happiness, but what if that's the root of most relationship problems? What if that's been part of my problem? What if there is so much pressure to be happy, when happiness isn't something you can be every minute of every day anyway? What if being content, with lots of sprinkles of happiness, as Mari describes it, is actually a healthier, more realistic goal?

I'm feeling restless. I know if I keep thinking about him, I would go crazy, but after knowing this too, I still can't able to stop myself from thinking about him and wondering if I love him or not, and he loves me or not. I think I should keep myself busy for a few days otherwise I would lose my mind because I'm overthinking now and it is really harmful to think too much about something. It is destructive and mentally draining. I know about this because I have gone through it before.

Is it in the pit of your stomach or the back of your head? Is it real or is it a figment of your imagination? If it’s Happiness, how come I'm stuck in these walls? How come I'm shattered everyday by voices and words I didn't even want to hear. If Happiness is it is, why is there a stream of gunshots and death in areas of our existence? Why do we laugh at every groundbreaking moment and take advantage of its greatness? If it’s Happiness, why is there no smile in the shadows of your movements? Why do we frown and grin at the same time when we say we are happy?