I keep seeing people asking for this, and I always think the same thing: the romance almost always suffers when the world gets too grim. It's like authors feel they have to make the relationship equally brutal to match the setting, which just... isn't my vibe. I want characters who are nuanced despite the horror, not because of it. A book that nailed this for me was 'The Last Hour of Gann' by R. Lee Smith. Sure, the world is utterly merciless and the alien society is horrific, but Amber and Meoraq's relationship develops through shared intellect and stubborn survival, not just shared trauma. Their complexity comes from clashing ideologies and slowly-earned respect. It’s a tough read, emotionally draining, but the character work is phenomenal.
On the flip side, I bounced hard off stuff like 'The Road' (though that’s more literary) because the despair just smothers everything. For a slightly lighter touch, 'Dustwalker' by Tiffany Roberts has a worn-down, dusty world and an android protagonist whose awakening feels genuinely earned alongside the human connection. The harshness is a constant pressure, but the romance feels like a quiet rebellion against it, not another layer of misery.