Remembering 2022

"I’ll make you beg and cry out my name, Father Hale. You won’t even be able to face the altar without remembering how you came apart on my tongue." Vincente terrifying voice admitted curling around the crucifix at my throat as his rough, unforgiving fingers, pinned my wrists above my head. His thigh shoved between mine, spreading me open, and the heavy press of his cock ground against the thin barrier of my underclothes. Mine answered before I could stop it, swelling shamefully through the thin clothes that clung like a second, traitorous skin. "Feel that?" he whispered, rolling slow, merciless circles that tore a broken sound from my throat. "That’s your body confessing louder than any prayer." I tried to twist away, but the movement only dragged my hips harder against him. "Please," I gasped, the word cracking open like a wound. "Vicente —God—" "God’s not here," he growled, his teeth grazing the shell of my ear. "Only me, you don't call God when you are about to sin." His hands slipped under me working on me. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, but the moan slipped out anyway, raw and ragged. "Say it. Say you want me," he demanded, his thumb circling the slick head until my vision blurred. "Beg me to stop. Or beg me not to." A sob tore free as my body arched, chasing the pleasure I hated myself for craving. "Please...Vicente—" He swallowed the broken plea with his mouth, teeth and tongue, sucking the faint copper of my own blood. When he pulled back, his eyes glittered like black glass. "Oh." He smiled, "You mean I can continue?" And my last hope to get him stop chattered.

Sometimes, all I can do is lie in bed and hope to drift away to sleep before I fall apart. I can't seem to get you off my mind. Your love was the only real thing in my small world. Losing you was the worst thing that could happen to me. I've gotten used to it but I still wake up to full consciousness each day remembering what we had. This heartbreak and any other disappointment is just part of life. I thought I had found my soulmate, but it turns out you were just another lesson. Right now, I can't face the world. I thought I had the most fantastic plot, but I was wrong. I have come to terms with what happened between us, but I need some more time to move on past us completely. You have hurt me in ways I never expected or deserved. Thanks to you, I have understood the importance of self-love and self-growth. I have become a better person and a better friend. I know I will find true love once again. I feel shattered and broken because the only time I gave love a chance, I ended up feeling heartbroken. I'm scared and sad because I don't think I'll ever recover from this pain. I'm hoping to move on and try new things. I just really can't be with you or can't be without and I don't think I'll ever love anything else the way I love you. I'm heartbroken! It's surprising how the pain of living without someone can make you feel like you've lost everything that means happiness to you in this world, that's how I feel right now that I'm heartbroken.

When my best friend, Dulcie Quinn, and I went to Westhaven on vacation, my boyfriend, Shane Lewis, got me a lower berth in a soft-sleeper. Before I boarded, he pointed at the dark circles under his eyes. “I spent three days trying to snag you a lower berth so you’d be comfortable on the trip. “So no matter what, don’t give it up to anyone else. Not even Dulcie.” He looked so serious that I nodded and told him I understood. Sure enough, as soon as we boarded, Dulcie, who had the berth above mine, asked if we could switch. Remembering what Shane had told me, I shook my head and said no. I explained it to her too. I never expected something to go wrong that very night. When she climbed down to use the bathroom, she missed the handrail and fell. Clutching her stomach, she screamed, “My baby! My baby’s gone!” I did not even have time to ask when she had gotten pregnant. I rushed her off the train and took her to the nearest hospital. Late that night, Dulcie’s husband, Wallace Lambert, arrived at the hospital with Shane. By then, she had already undergone a D&C. The moment she saw me, she pointed at me and started cursing me out. “Do you have any idea how much I sacrificed for that baby?” Shane blamed me too. “I thought you were just joking when you said you were jealous of Dulcie. I never imagined you’d be cruel enough to do something like this!” I didn’t even get the chance to say a word before Wallace slammed me against the wall and strangled me to death. After I died, Dulcie ended up with Shane. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to three minutes before boarding the train.

"Don't hurt her!" Liliana screams, throwing herself over me ready to give up everything to protect me the same as I will do for her. I whimper at the taste of blood in my mouth making me feel sick knowing the source and what it likely means. "She didn't mean it, I promise she didn't," Liliana cries while looking up at the wolf not afraid for herself, but me, then I catch a glimpse of why. I whimper when my eyes find Benji on the ground with his throat ripped apart making me tear my eyes away to look up at the large familiar wolf. "Raven?" His link connects to mine and my eyes widen not sure why I can hear him knowing I should only be able to hear my pack members. "Beta Embry?" I cry recognizing his voice, looking around I try to figure out what happened as wolves began to show up growling in anger as a few howl. "What did I do? What happened? What did I do?" I almost scream while looking at my hands remembering what it felt like to hurt Benji, feeling his flesh between my teeth and his blood running down my throat.Raven born by a blood moon and Liliana her identical twin born by a hunter's moon. Raven's life feels like a waking dream as she struggles through shifting at an unusually young age, navigating her abilities, becoming an Alpha, and finding her mates. While Liliana struggles with her world crashing down around her, becoming the subject of bullying, abuse, and constantly being overlooked. Follow Raven's journey to protect Liliana above all else while finding herself, her mates, and her purpose in a world full of people who would control or destroy her. Continue book two: Raven's Agony of Desire