Seriously Funny Jokes

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

Isang simpleng probinsyana lamang si Anna Marie Castillo, namumuhay sa isang simpleng lugar, simpleng probinsiya. Pero kahit ganoon, masaya siya sa buhay na mayroon siya kasama ang kaniyang pamilya. Mahirap lang sila at trabahador lang ng pamilya Bautista ang kanyang ama, samantalang ang kanyang ina naman ay nag-e-extra lamang. Ang tahimik niyang buhay sa probinsiya ay magugulo sa pagdating ng anak ng mga Bautista na si Kevyn, isang mayabang at antipatikong lalaki. Ano kaya ang kahihinatnan nila kung sa unang pagtatagpo pa lang nila ay hindi na naging maganda iyon? Ano kayang gagawin niya kapag nalaman niyang siya ang magbabantay sa binata habang nasa probinsya ito? Babalik pa kaya ang katahimikan niya sa probinsiya o lalo lang iyong gugulo?

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

"I promise you if Trinity gives me the slip, then I am pinning her to a tree." Just thinking of her sends shivers up my spine and belief me that they are not the good shivering kind. I love a beautiful woman both in my bed and to look at. To be surrounded by ugly for almost a full day is seriously going to put a damper on my ego. But time to push that thought to the side, for our location has just come up on the right. We slowly cruise up the driveway… But as we step through the doorway… And we turn the corner… There is a tall brunette in what could possibly be the tightest dress I have ever seen. But what strikes me the most is her long slender legs that are held up by deep blood red stilettos. Her long locks of hair fall like waterfalls over her shoulders. Just looking at those plump lips is enough to send me raging. I don't know who she is... Colton Cruz is the best of the best, an ex-Marine, now bodyguard to the Mafia world’s elite. He is a man that lives for the rush and danger that his lifestyle brings. You might find yourself on his speed dial, but you will not be the one that will capture his heart. Trinity Stone is a spoilt brat that becomes Colton's next assignment. She is a pleasure on the eye but an absolute nightmare to be around. This lonely and misunderstood girl is the heir to the Stone Crime Family. And that is where the problem begins… Colton soon finds him desiring what he cannot have, the daughter of a Mafia Boss. How far will he go to get what he desires the most?

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

Anaheim, the Home of Disneyland in California City famous for Hockey stadium, art museum, convention centres. Among them, it is also famous for nightclubs. On a busy night in California Girls Anaheim(Adult Entertainment Club), Nicolas Winston searches for a girl to spend the night with. While looking around, he come across Elena who just undergone a break up, came to the club to get drunk. Nick sees Elena and ask her to sleep with him. In the beginning she rejects him but later she'll accept the offer. Both of them decides to hook up and end up in a hotel. When Nick comes to know that Elena is still virgin, he drops the idea of sleeping with her. Elena gets excited about Nick and ask about his love life since he talked lot about 'first time' and 'virginity'. Nick and Elena share their love story to each other's. They become friends from One nightstand. Nick and Elena meet again and again on different occasions and share their love stories. Nick helps Elena to overcome her truma from her past life and in return Elena helps Nick overcoming his lost love. Soon, they fall for each other without knowing. Nicolas's side story - High School Love. Elena's side story - Office Romance.

Umuwi si Aliya probinsya nila. Gusto niyang ipahinga muna ang sarili sa toxic na mundo ng trabaho niya ang pagiging call center agent. Lalo na at gusto din ng kanyang ama at kapatid na magbakasyon siya. Doon niya makilala ang binatang mekaniko na si Jayson Fuentebella, na kapit bahay din nila. Madaming babaeng umaaligid dito at mga nagpapalipad hangin. Pero ang labis na ipinagtataka ni Aliya, ay ang pagiging masungit nito sa kanya. Habang, hindi naman nagsusungit sa iba at maayos naman ang pakikitungo nito sa ibang kadalagahan na katulad niya. Kapag bumibili siya sa grocery store nito ay palaging pasinghal, at hindi man lang kakikitahan ng lambing tulad sa iba. May pag-asa pa kayang mapalambot ni Aliya ang matigas at masungit na binata? Kung sa simula pa lang na lalapit siya ay itinataboy na siya nito.

He fell in love with the girl he had a one-night stand with. When her true nature revealed, he hated himself for loving her and decided never to see her again. However, his fate took an unexpected turn and entangled him in a contract marriage with her, turning the girl he despised into his temporary wife. Will their love-hate relationship lead to a deeper connection, or will it keep them forever bound by the terms of their contract? * “Stand up and bend over the bench.” I comply with his orders. “Are you yearning for me, Wifey?” “Yes. I want to feel you deep inside me.” “But do you deserve it?” He taps his hardness on my wetness. “Just f**k me, Steve.” “Seriously, you think I’ll listen to you after what you did today?” He asks, rubbing my with his thumbs agonisingly slow. As I grind myself against his hand, he tugs at my hair, pulling my head back. “Stay still if you don’t want me to spank your little this time. Understand?” “Yes.” “Good.” He pulls my hair and jabs deep into me without a warning. “You’re my wife.” He pulls out, but his tip remains inside me before thrusting himself into me again. “You belong to me”

Ethan Lewis has been in the bright lights for as long as he can remember. He’s just turned the cusp of celebrating his twenty-fourth birthday, and yet he feels more like eighty. Living the life of a celebrity isn’t all it is chalked up to be, and dealing with the unruly number of women who are more interested in his billions than who he is as a person is getting old. He has resigned himself to giving up on love and focusing on the only thing that truly gives back – his career. Riley Phillips has always dreamed of being on a big stage with the warmth of the spotlight baring down on her, but she just couldn’t seem to catch the right agent’s attention. After giving a quick commencement speech as Valedictorian of her graduating class at Billmore High, she’s offered something she can’t refuse... The chance to work in Hollywood. It’s not all it’s chalked up to be, but she works hard and finally gets her big break four years down the line. There is a new movie that her agent wants her to audition for, and her co-star? The dreamy Ethan Lewis. She scores the part, but soon regrets it due to his callous, overbearing persona. He’s nothing like the public touts, and she for one isn’t impressed. Funny enough, he is - immensely.