Novel & Cerita Surviving As

Just watchful. The mountain air was damp and sharp, smelling of pine sap and ash. Somewhere nearby, water trickled over stone. A breeze shifted the tarp, rattling the branches overhead. I pulled my knees to my chest and stared at the thin seam of morning light pushing through the trees. My heart thudded with the aftershock of adrenaline, long spent but not forgotten. “We left her,” I whispered, my voice dry. Zerina stirred. “We survived,” she replied. Not cold, but steady. “That was all we could do.”

I said finally, my voice low but steady. His brows drew together, the sharp angles of his face hardening. “Survive? Gloss, what the hell does that even mean?” I stepped forward, trying to keep my balance, not physically, but emotionally. Every nerve in me was screaming, every thought tangled. Stay calm. Keep it together. Just survive. The words ran through my mind like a mantra, but I didn’t let him know the truth. “I… I’m doing what I have to do to keep us both safe,” I said instead, careful with every word.

Soon after Tsao's group reunited, the wolves retreated ending the battle as quickly as it started. Among the survivors there were few standing, making Tsao realize how close they were to end up among the casualties. When he met bob he was about to fight a wolf barehanded and Anne would have been a sacrifice just to earn a couple seconds more to a lowly scum who wouldn't even fight for himself. Some people were mourning the dead while others walked around trying to help any survivors. Tsao noticed that there were those who would die after a single bite and those who survived even the most gruesome wounds, but still perished due to blood loss or lack of treatment.

“But there was nothing. No one.” Jace exhales, rubbing a hand down his face. “We weren’t here. Not then. We had to move, had to hide. The ones who survived… we didn’t know if anyone else had made it out.” He looks at me again, softer this time. “We thought you were dead, too.” “Jace how did you survive… I saw them kill you…” I question, shaking my head at him. “You did… and I thought I was dead… until my Lycan gene awakened… the same with a lot of others.”

Survived—survived even when fate dealt—dealt cruel hands. Even when the Moon Goddess's—Goddess's gift felt more like—like curse than blessing. Even then. Especially—especially then. I'd survive—survive. And hope that Marcus—Marcus would eventually see me—me as worth surviving for—for. **TO BE CONTINUED...** ---

The bullet leaving the chamber. Ciro jumping. The red flower blooming on his chest. He took a bullet for me. He died for me. And I survived. I survived the debt. I survived the mansion. I survived the hit. I am a survivor. And this... this thing inside me... it is a survivor too. It survived the stress. It survived the malnutrition. It survived the violence. It clung to the wall of my womb while I was running for my life. It is tough. It is stubborn. It is a Vitale.

Imperfectly but persistently. Because that’s what survival looked like. Managing impossible things simultaneously. Never doing either perfectly. Just doing both adequately enough to survive. That was all anyone could do. Survive. Keep trying. Hope recovery was possible. Eventually. Someday. Maybe.

I murmured. His brow furrowed slightly. “What?” I shook my head. “Nothing.” But it wasn’t nothing. It was everything. The creature’s words echoed faintly in my mind. You must live with what remains. I looked around again. At the people who had survived. Some were injured, some shaken. All of them, confused. Confused, but alive. And I realized— This was what I had chosen. Not perfection or wholeness But survival. A sudden movement caught my attention.

You didn't starve to death. I could not take it anymore. "Mom, do you know how I've been surviving this semester? On handouts from my roommate and digging through trash for leftover food! And today, if my advisor hadn't been kind enough to buy me a meal, I probably would've collapsed and ended up in the hospital!" I thought hearing about what I had been through might change her mind. Instead, she let out a scornful laugh. "So what, you're trying to brag to me about your good luck? How you ran into a nice roommate and a nice advisor?

My hands will not stop shaking, and my lip is still bleeding. But I am standing. And deep inside of me beneath the exhaustion, pain and the fear, something has shifted. Not hope exactly but something harder that does not need to hope because it is too busy surviving. I walk back toward the building, each step an effort, each breath a small victory. Mark will push me everyday till am strong enough to stand and survive for myself. That is what surviving means.