Novel & Cerita Why Am I Suddenly Stumbling Over My Words

"Now, I want you to tell me what your fucking problem is. I asked you for the page we were reading from today and all you could do was to fucking move away from me. Do I disgust you? What do I do to you?" You do a lot of things to me and I don't understand myself anymore. I wanted to say that aloud but the words couldn't flow out. It suddenly felt like I couldn't find my voice. "You better start talking or else" She came closer to me and I tried to move away only to realize that I was stuck between the wall and her. Somebody help, please! "You... I... I... You..." I stuttered, not knowing the right words to use cause all seemed to skip my memory. "I... I am trying to stay away from you."

Would not happen. How could it? Another sigh escaped my mouth. I was walking up the stairs, thoughts in my head. “Damn it—” My mouth would open at intervals and this word would come out. “Damn it—” I let out again, holding myself back from saying anything else. Why was I speaking too much? “Do you want something?”

The system absorbs what it needed to absorb. And suddenly—there is no emergency to outrun my own exhaustion. That’s when it finds me. It starts small. I forget words mid-sentence. Lose my place in thoughts that used to be sharp. I reread the same paragraph three times and still couldn’t tell you what it said. At first, I tell myself it’s normal. Then my body stops asking. It insists. I wake one morning and can’t move—not because I’m injured, but because everything in me has gone heavy. Like gravity doubled overnight.

I was suddenly stunned when he grabbed my hand. I don't know why my heart is beating so fast now. I shook my head quickly to get rid of this thought. I also shook his hand and hid my hand behind my back. "Okay, fine." I said and was about to open the door to go inside but he preceded me in opening it. I blinked because I was suddenly nervous again. "I-I can open that! I-I have a hand!" That's it! Why am I stuttering! I can't help but feel bad in my mind because of what is happening. I think I'm crazy!

I walked around the room, my smart ass trying to think of what to say or do to appear experienced and sophisticated since I was already in this mess but hell my brain has already turned to mush, and my mouth starts to grow dry as I begin to spit out the most ridiculous stuff. “Should we be doing this? I don’t think we should… because if this was the payment you wanted earlier, I wouldn’t have…” I begin to mumble, my pulse racing. Even though I knew I was babbling nonsense, I couldn’t seem to stop. The words kept spilling out, tripping over one another as nerves tightened in my chest. He watched me quietly, his expression unreadable, and somehow that only made it worse. “I mean, not that I—”

cause maybe I was still drunk, and misunderstanding everything, but immediately I backed away, he bridges the distance again, and walked closer "Eli...Elias?" I parted my lips, to try to ask him what was literally happening right now, but the words stammered out of my lips, and scattered the words I was trying to say, cause my head was confused and blank, so blank that I didn't even know how to think anymore, and he...he...he made it worst, he made my fucking head more blank "I...I.." I heard his voice, and...and it made me look into his eyes surprised again, cause...cause a cold guy like him was actually capable of stammering out?, what?...But no matter how red his face was, he didn't stop

"I compose entire speeches, Anna, walking through the house, in the shower, lying awake at night. By the time I actually find myself in the same room as you, everything I planned to say evaporates completely." "I do the same thing." The admission surprised me with how easily it came, some of the careful guardedness I had maintained since the confrontation finally loosening slightly. "I do not know what I am supposed to say to you anymore. Everything feels either too small or too enormous for actual words, and I never know which one I am supposed to reach for."

“Okay.” The word came easier than I expected. She didn’t waste time after that, slipping an arm lightly around mine to steady me as she guided me through the crowd. The music felt louder as we moved, the lights brighter, everything too much all at once. I kept my eyes down, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Somewhere along the way, I started talking. I didn’t mean to. The words just… slipped out. “Do you ever feel like…” I started, my voice slower, heavier, “…like you’re stuck?”