You So Dumb Jokes

Some lines aren't meant to be crossed. We cross them anyway. A struggling artist signs a contract to become a billionaire's live-in muse, in exchange for her to surrender her body, and even her soul. A college student watches his best friend's father through the window. The father watches back. And puts on a show. A therapist knows every trigger point of his patient's body. Late-night sessions become something far less professional. A man confesses his darkest desires to a priest who's bound by vows to only listen. The priest's restraint shatters. A photographer's lens captures more than boudoir photos. Eventually, he puts down the camera. Two stepbrothers' best friends steal moments in a house full of people who can't know. The risk makes it hotter. A student loses a dare and brings a vibrator to her strictest professor's class. He hacks it. Control it and own her. Two rival lawyers hate each other in court. In hotel rooms, they work out their aggression the only way that satisfies. This isn't romance. This is an obsession collection not for the faint hearted. GET WET. GET WILD. GET LOST IN THE FORBIDDEN.

For five years, Marco Falcone was the perfect man. Or so I thought. The illusion shattered on the night of our engagement party, when his mistress crashed it, a five-year-old boy in tow. The boy ran straight to Marco, crying, "Daddy! Daddy, I finally found you!" It had to be some kind of sick joke. But then Marco turned to me, his voice stripped of all warmth. "This is my son, Leo. A… mistake Sofia and I made five years ago." "Leo is the Falcone heir. I have to legitimize them. That means I'll be engaged to Sofia first." "But Lydia, believe me, I still love you. We can have our engagement party in six months. You're going to be the Donna of the Falcone family. I expect you to be generous and understanding. This is non-negotiable." I laughed, a cold, sharp sound, and slid the engagement ring off my finger. My eyes scanned the room and locked on the man in the corner—Lorenzo Moretti, the most powerful Don in New York. He held another title, one only I knew: the man who’d been trying to make me his. "Don Moretti," I called out, my voice clear and steady. "I find myself in need of a new fiancé. Are you interested?"

When my Alpha mate, Logan noticed I hadn't submitted a single expense request in three days, he reached out to me on his own for the first time ever. "Baby, I've already approved the next phase of your wolf's healing. See? As long as you learn to behave, there's nothing I won't give you." His tone was still so affectionate, as if he were truly a good Alpha, worried sick over his mate. But he didn't know that as his "Baby" flashed across my phone screen, I had already finished drafting the agreement to sever our mate bond. Before I left, the only thing I could take with me was the old T-shirt I had worn when he marked me. No one would ever believe that the beloved Luna of the Blackmoon Pack, in the three years since our bonding ceremony, couldn't even scrape together five decent dresses of her own. Every household expense I incurred had to be approved by the Luna's seal, the very symbol of my power. "Sienna, managing the books is too tiring. It will wear you out." "Just let Chloe handle the tedious work with the seal. All you have to do is be beautiful, be my perfect Luna." And so, the Luna's seal, which should have been mine, became something I had to beg for from Chloe, the Alpha's secretary who was supposedly "handling the tedious work for me." Three days ago, my wolf was on the verge of collapsing. I cried and begged him for the two hundred thousand needed for an emergency intervention. But Chloe deliberately withheld the seal, delaying approval by claiming improper procedure. Finally, my already fractured wolf went completely silent in the depths of my soul. And with that, I was done with this Alpha, too.

To everyone else, I'm the wife of Stefano Pace, the man who runs this city's underworld. To others, I am living the kind of luxury every woman in town envies. But what no one knows is that in three days, I'm leaving my husband for good. It started when I took Stefano's car to wash and spotted a black stocking that wasn't mine wedged in the passenger seat cushions. It was balled up and still reeked of sickly sweet perfume. The sight of it was like a knife to the heart. I knew that perfume. It is Isla Torelli's. She's Stefano's underboss, the only woman besides me who's ever taken the passenger seat. My hand trembled as I gripped the stocking, but I kept my cool. I thought back to our wedding seven years ago, when Stefano stood in front of the whole family and vowed, "If I ever betray you, then betray me a hundredfold!" He probably did not think those words would come true.

Knowing someone who used to be your friend for so long is a blessing for everyone, yet, it's painful somehow. A friend who can rely and cry on you when they needed you the most, yet, they are not there for you when you needed them.

After my rebirth, I vow to stop clinging to my fated mate—the man I grew up with—Damon Hale. When he gathers all the healers in the pack for a party in Alohara, I book a flight to Harborwatch. When he complains that my scent makes him and his wolf sick, I move out and hire a deep-cleaning service for 500 dollars. When he orders me to stay away from his pack, I quit my job as Alpha's private healer and take up freelance work in Coghaven to support myself. Finally, he says my existence might mislead his precious stepsister into thinking he still cares for me. So, I nod and accept Coghaven Alpha's hand in marriage, along with the keys to an 18-million-dollar villa as my wedding gift. Not until the very last moment of my previous life did I realize… he had always loved his stepsister. In this life, I’ll let you be together—and from now on, I’ll live for myself alone.

The day before I am supposed to move into a nursing home, my daughter-in-law, Emily Freeman, cancels the deposit I have already paid without my permission. "It's not easy for Ryan to earn money. Instead of helping us save money, you want to stay somewhere so expensive," Emily complains. I frown and explain that I paid with my own money. Her expression darkens as she rants, "Isn't your money our money? Besides, how much money can you possibly have? Didn't you get all of it from Ryan anyway? "You don't help take care of the kids or do any housework. Now, you're just bleeding us dry so that you can enjoy yourself!" My son, Ryan Pratt, sides with her and criticizes me as well. "Mom, this is such a waste of money. If you ask me, you might as well go to a senior community and get a bed there for ten dollars. Someone will still take care of you." I am so furious that I faint on the spot and am rushed to the hospital. With the refunded money, Ryan takes Emily and goes on vacation abroad with his in-laws. After being discharged, the first thing I do is put the apartment I once gave my son as a wedding gift up for sale with a real estate agent.

A simple omega who tries to finish her studies as quickly as possible to get away from the family and the town that hates her, she is only waiting for her 18th birthday and her transformation. Without expecting that that day would be the worst of her life, she would never meet her wolf but her rejection of hers was destined for her, bringing her to the brink of death but she is not even easy to defeat. "I Andrews Wen, Alpha leader of the Silver pack, reject Anastasia Jason as my destined and moon of the pack." My head spun and my chest hurt, my blurred vision only helped me see when Anastasia cut her omega glands, turning into a simple and vulgar human

If you're looking for a story with sunshine, unicorns, and cliché endings well you won't find it here. Only Disney does those kinds of stuff, actually, this is a story where hopes and dreams are crushed into tiny little pieces, I know what you're thinking this is so over-dramatic but no, it’s not. I'm just simply telling the truth and the truth can be painful sometimes, anyway this is the tale where our brave main character got caught up with shit. Her life was simple back then robbing banks here and there and hacking stuff but it all changed on a faithful night, which she wants to take back so bad. Now she is plagued into a life with Mafias and Deadly Assassins with everyone out to get her, how can a kid possibly survive through it all? Join Midnight in a fun-filled adventure of a lifetime where she battled her way in a war between the Mafias and assassins, a past that needs reconciling and a promise that needs to be treasured. Where she asks herself in the end, how can a life be so cursed?

The first thing my fiance's childhood sweetheart—Eve Hodgson—does after returning from abroad is make me sign a bet. It states that if my fiance—Holden Lane—chooses her over me nine times, I'll have to step aside willingly and let her have him. I agree. On the ninth time, she calls him in tears. "If you don't marry me, Holden, I'll be forced to marry that notorious Croft heir from Jedburgh!" He ends the call in a frenzy and leaves me behind yet again. With his identification documents in hand, he rushes to marry her right away. They announce their marriage to the world on the same day. Elites of Jedburgh strain their necks, eager to see me and the Crofts humiliated. That's when Ryland Croft comes to me, smirking with that careless arrogance of his. "Since your fiance stole my bride, it seems only fair that you pay the debt. So, how about you marry me instead?" I nod and say, "Fair enough. When's the wedding?"