You So Dumb Jokes

Demi menghilangkan kegelisahan sang ibu, Selena Brawijaya, gadis berusia 24 tahun yang merupakan seorang novelis, akhirnya menikah dengan seorang lelaki asing yang sama sekali tak dikenalnya. Lelaki berparas menawan yang memiliki karir gemilang sebagai seorang tentara. Yang sayangnya, ia memiliki trauma mendalam yang telah mengakar kuat dalam dirinya. Janji suci di depan penghulu pun seakan hanyalah ritual belaka, layaknya cangkang kosong tanpa isi. Lantas, apa yang akan dilakukan Selena dengan status ikatan suami-istri yang mereka miliki di saat ia memiliki keyakinan kuat bahwa apa pun yang terjadi dalam hidupnya bukanlah suatu kebetulan? Tak butuh waktu ribuan tahun bersama untuk menyadarinya. Karena di detik yang sama saat ia tahu dirinya tak lagi mampu menolak takdir yang telah ditetapkan untuk dirinya itu, ide cemerlang langsung muncul di benaknya. Sebagai seorang novelis yang telah memiliki ratusan juta pembaca di seluruh dunia, tentu ia tidak akan mau dirugikan baik secara mental maupun fisik karena pernikahan yang sama sekali tak ia inginkan ini. Dan menikah dengan seorang tentara yang kehidupannya syarat akan kedisiplinan dan kerja keras, mengangkat senjata menantang maut, bergerilya di rimbunnya hutan belantara bersantap ular, tentu akan memberinya gambaran utuh yang tak semua orang mengetahuinya. Ini adalah harta karun. Ide itulah yang membuatnya tak lagi menyuarakan protes tentang perjodohan mereka, alih-alih, gadis itu justru mengangguk mantap tanpa sedikit pun keraguan. Apa yang ia khawatirkan dengan pernikahan yang memiliki berlembar-lembar poin kesepakatan? Terlebih lagi, kesepakatan tentang tak akan saling menyentuh tanpa persetujuan. Dan dari yang ia lihat dari sosok menawan Arjuna, lelaki itu adalah lelaki sejati yang tak akan pernah melanggar janji yang telah disepakati. Di sisi lain, Arjuna sama sekali tak menyadari tentang akal bulus calon istrinya itu. Ia sama sekali tak pernah berpikir jika gadis bar-bar itu akan dengan begitu riang gembira mengikutinya ketika tengah menjalankan sebuah misi rahasia, dan tentu saja, tanpa sepengetahuannya.

“I killed his secret lover.” “Does he know?” “Yes, but he pretends not to know it in front of me.” A gun shot sounded outside the mansion and Alvah didn't bother to check. “What is going on?” Alvah chuckled, a smile spread across her face, “My husband. He's here to kill me.”

"Hey mister, can I ask you for a favor?" A lady asked with her sweet and intoxicating voice, causing the man who was walking, to turn around and stare at the young lady. "Can you be my boyfriend for just one month, and I promise to pay you handsomely." Cecelia said smiling. **** Cecelia is an upcoming actress. Her parents had threatened to choose a suitor for her if she didn't hasten her steps and find one for herself... Edward is a founder of Charles diamond company who agreed to be Cecelia's fake boyfriend for a month not because he feels like, but because his parents were also planning on looking for a lady for him. Edward has had a traumatic experience during his childhood, which causes him to shut his mouth, as he goes through different attacks, unaware that it would lead to him being unable to talk. When their plans start to unravel will Cecelia fall in with her parents' plans? When feelings get involved will things still work out as they planned?

The CEO of the biggest mall in the Philippines and heir to a billion dollar company marries a housekeeper's daughter. Sunny's back in Buencamino to take care of her sick mother and to rekindle her old love only to find out that her ex-boyfriend already married someone else. Heartbroken, she

After regaining my hearing, I happily march over to the room of my arch-rival, eager to flaunt in front of him—only to hear him moaning my name as he does what all guys do for pleasure.

I sponsored Emily Fagan from an underprivileged background just to help her get through school. She was good-looking but wasn't exactly the brightest. Despite my warning not to tamper with my things, she slipped stimulants into my water bottle. Thanks to her, I was accused of cheating in the swimming competition. Our team's score was nullified. As for me, I was banned from competing for life and kicked out of college. When I confronted her, she cried pitifully, "Julie, I just wanted you to win. I didn't know that'd happen." My boyfriend, Elijah Strauss, held her and comforted her. He even snapped at me, claiming, "Em had good intentions. Why are you giving her a hard time?" Crushed, I shut myself in at home. Feeling sorry, she and Elijah visited me and brought along some vodka as an apology. After I took ten shots, I asked her to buy some over-the-counter pain relievers for my splitting headache. Little did I know that she'd make me take a dangerous dose of Ibuprofen mixed with alcohol. The bleeding in my stomach was what killed me. Emily looked pitifully remorseful at the hospital. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't even tell what I shouldn't have given her…" During the police interrogation, my boyfriend gave false testimony to protect her. He accused me of taking my own life by mixing Ibuprofen and alcohol because I couldn't handle the mental stress from cheating in the competition. When I reopened my eyes, I found out that I was transported to the day before the competition.

"She is a fool. It was as easy as fucking." Lucien smirked and my heart started to pound heavily against my chest, especially when he began advancing towards me with murderous intent. What was going on? What did they mean by their words? "L-Lucien, why is she h-here?" I choked as he reached forward to grab me by the neck. Malia laughed as I struggled to breathe, my airways being blocked as Lucien tightened his grip on my neck. He raised me up over the cliff and I was dangling in the air, a feeling of dread going through me as I could see my death. I kicked and clawed at his hand, trying to get him to let me go when he flung me against the nearest tree hard. I coughed blood as I crashed into the tree heavily, my body hurting as I collapsed to the floor. I tried to talk but my mouth felt too heavy, my eyes widening in disbelief as I watched Lucien bring out a sharp knife. He opened my mouth and brought out my tongue while Malia kept laughing, pointing at me with a smug look on her face. I was still confused. What was going on? Was Lucien being controlled? "I reject you, Nadia, as my mate and future Luna," He growled as he sliced my tongue off.

“Perempuan angkuh! Kau hanya seorang penari erotis, tapi sikapmu yang pongah ini seolah-olah kau adalah putri. Aku bisa saja menawarmu dengan uangku lalu memuaskan diriku dengan tubuhmu dan setelah itu membuangmu seperti sampah." Sean berbicara perlahan, dengan sengaja menekankan setiap kata. "Jadi Kesya mulai sekarang perhatikan sikapmu padaku, sebelum aku benar-benar menghancurkanmu tanpa sisa." Kesya tersenyum sinis lalu menjawab perkataan Sean yang seperti tak punya perasaan itu dengan sikap tenang. “Memangnya kenapa kalau aku penari erotis? Apa pekerjaanmu mengusik ketenanganmu? Kau mengataiku sampah tapi lihat dirimu sendiri, bukankah kau sangat menyedihkan? Jika kau sudah mengetahui bahwa aku ini sampah dan menjijikkan, kenapa kau malah mengejarku?” sambungnya dengan menohok ke dalam hati Sean.

Setelah gagal menikah dengan Xavier, laki-laki yang ia cintai delapan tahun lamanya. Kini, Aluna harus berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk menyembuhkan luka batinnya, luka tak kasat mata yang mampu membuatnya menderita. Menangis setiap malam karena teringat kenangan indah dengan sang mantan kekasih yang begitu ia cinta. Ketika Aluna tengah berjuang dengan luka, ia bertemu dengan Fazam yang merupakan teman satu kampusnya. Hadirnya Fazam bagai penawar luka yang tengah ia rasa. Namun, itu semua hanya di awal saja. Hubungannya dengan Fazam lama kelamaan berubah menjadi sebuah hubungan yang tidak sehat atau biasa disebut Toxic Relationship yang membuat Aluna menjadi jauh dari sahabat-sahabatnya, membuat gadis itu kembali mendapatkan luka karena cinta dari orang yang berbeda dan bahkan sempat terpikir untuk mengakhiri hidupnya saja. Inilah kisah hidup seorang gadis bernama Aluna Ocean Andromeda. Kisah hidup dengan lika-liku persoalan remaja yang tengah beranjak dewasa. Cinta, persahabatan, juga keluarga menjadi bumbu-bumbu kehidupan yang begitu berwarna. Kamu yang pernah singgah, dan sempat membersamai dalam jejak langkah menapaki jalan tak tentu arah menorehkan beragam untaian kisah.

Umaasa si Pauleen na kahit isang beses lang. Makakasalamuha siya ng isang kalahi ni Adan after being tore down by her bastard college boyfriend na ipinalit siya sa babaeng Donsol sa Architectural Department. Humahanga na siya sa mga Blue Warrior pero mas lalong nadagdagan ang paghanga niya sa FVC members. Kaya nang makilala niya si Beverly Hernandez-ang babaeng nagdala sa kanya sa naturang lugar. Tuluyang nakamit ang isang pangarap niya sa buhay. Doon niya nakilala ang antipatiko at hambog na si Bruce Bergman. Naglaho ang fascination niya dito lalo na ng palagi siya nitong binabara dahilan kung bakit tumubo ang iritasyon niya sa binatilyo. Ano kaya ang mangyayari kapag itong dalawa ang palaging nasasangkot sa walang humpay na bangayan?