Esther finally agrees to hang out with her friends after several "No" and "Next time" she decided to join at the bar and ends up getting laid with a woman named Amber, one-night stand leads to a relationship where pressure and conflicts arise and ruined everything as a couple but starts a good friendship which they will learn to see what they missed as Amber realized her feelings for Esther that is about to marry soon... Will she be able to admit it to her best friend/Ex-girlfriend Esther who begins to fall for her as well but keep her feelings hidden for the sake of friendship? A roller coaster ride of breakups, friendship and love the second time around that will satisfy your special kind of love story!
View MoreHate versus love, how are these words so connected as always even if they are totally in contrast? I hate when Amber does shit on everything... When she just dumps me to mind her own situation, when she makes me want to understand her, I just really hate when she sends Felisa away and when she always makes me feel that intense kissing me in nowhere...but when she...she walks slowly towards me and ask me if she should stop it...inside me silently shouting on her, asking her not to stop, I walk angrily towards her office to end all her shits about me but facing her like this...I can see her pain...all her doubt to herself, I am suddenly put back to the past when... when she eagerly asks me to love her again and be with her and now all I can see is her doubting herself if she loves me or not.I just can't hold it; I am now an inch away from her. Caressing her face is the last thing I shouldn't do, but still, I can't help it. Suddenly, all my feelings just got out of me, so I guess this
When we cook, we mix all the ingredients to make one recipe, we put it all together and we are sure how it will taste and that is how we do cooking. We just mix everything... In human feelings and emotions, we can't just mix everything, we can't do both, we can never do much, we tend to explode within...and that is exactly what happens to me dealing with Esther...I don't mean it, I don't intend to but...I guess I just hate her...but needs to understand her...try to support her, be a friend to her even she don't need it anymore and most is...I just fucking miss her!Pulling her inside the stock room makes it all non-sense to me at first, but kissing her put me into the reality, that I need to do something...I need to fix myself, I also need to understand my inner me...walking out of the stock room, I just can't believe that I have done it again, doing things that I didn't plan, makes me feel better, touching her again soothes me well.I was just exhaling and going to the elevator when
"I was hoping you would text me or invite me to dig your snack"Felisa suddenly appeared in front of me and then sat beside me in the cafeteria."You were busy earlier at the ER and I need to visit Chloe. I have surgery on her later.""Oh, you visited Chloe though she seemed to upset you?""What? No, we are good.""You don't look good."I just stopped for a moment. I know Felisa has an idea of what is going on with me now."I-I ah...saw Amber in her room. We talked outside.""And...""I made it clear to her about my feelings, and I made it clear to myself that whatever I am going to hear from her will be fine with me.""And then...""And then, well, it still has an impact, though so far it is clear to me that she really has a thing about knowing herself first. You see, the point of telling your feelings to someone who means to you and then they will reject you in their most humane way... In the end, you will still feel pathetic yourself.""I never felt pathetic hearing all these thing
Opening my eyes...my head hurts...bottles of beer scattered all over my pad, damn! I don't know but all I want is to drown myself in drinking. After that moment with Esther, I know I shouldn't be feeling that. I shouldn't be like this...but...I just couldn't help myself last night. As I went home, I saw a store and directly picked up those bottles of beer.All night has been a long night for me...I guess I cried a lot last night as my eyes are so swollen right now, a lot of times I tried to call Esther at that time but I couldn't bring myself to. I just can't.Washing my face can't subside it, my eyes are still bulgy as they are, I hate the cold washing my face and putting ice to my eyes but I guess I have no choice!While doing this ice thingy, my cellphone rings and so I quickly check on it hoping it is the person I am longing to talk to, but it is not, it is Chief Gilbert."Yes?""Just woke up?""Kind of why?""Well, I hope you are doing okay now. You see, drinking alone sometimes
"Hey sweetie"Mom ask me as I sit quietly at the couch, I just woke up 4pm and I dont know but I dont seem to do what I should do...I just stare outside.I didnt response and I couldnt find myself to talk...I am not sure why and then she sit beside me holding my hand."The last time you were so quiet and preoccupied like that was when you just got here two years ago, and then you keep try hard to avoid me...but when Amber become your friend you sudenly light up...I guess something is not right between you two"She said, which I am not surprised, I may not know her now after dad die but I always know Mom every time I have a problem, I always see her around me if I am not okay, and she is right, I try so hard not to talk to her, to talk about what happen to me."How...how did you accept the fact that the person you love most is totally gone? how did you accept that dad isnt coming back?"I ask then made her hold my hand tight."I didnt... it never got in my mind wether I need to accept
Shoulder shaking as I walk away from Amber after the surgery I did for Larry, that conversation with her surely breaks my heart right now, how can I fight for I know that I am not anymore what she prefers for, even I want to shout and I want to pulled her closer to me to tell her I am the person she loved, I am the one she supposed to choose...As I walk towards my office I lock the door and sit at the floor...hmmmm sob*sob*hmmm... I shouldnt let my self in the first place, I shouldnt expect from her...hmmmm sob*sob* hmmmm...Amber...I am here...hmmmm I am just here love...please come back to me...I am so sorry for everything...hmmmm sob*sob* hmmmm...Crying my heart out, I just cant do anything right now, I want to go home...hmmmmm I dont want here anymore...hmmmm everytime things keeps getting worst, Amber always there for me...she love me...she makes me feel that, I am the one she loves...now why? hmmmm...why do I need to go back to this pain again...I just escaped...hmmmm I just es
"What do you want me to do? I said I dont like her! I dont want anything about my past!""But Amber honey, you cant escape the past! soon you will still remember everything and Monica can help you with that!""I will decide when that happens! and will you please, I am not the old me, I am still shock with what you all trying to say, I was as straight as pole as I am before, I never been what you all think of me! and I will sure that!"I said sternly and then end the call, I dont know why she needs to iterate that part on me, yes I feel like I want to be on with Esther but...I still have something within me, I know I am not what the world tries to tell me...If who really I am, I will be the one to discover that! I am now heading to their house to pick her up going to work when my cellphone rings and it is Dad."Hey Dad""Hey sweetie, how are you there?""I am doing good though mom never stops""Oh, what can I say, you know her, just dont get her words to your head""I know, so is the
"So, what do you think Amber would like for dinner?""Hmmm she is a good cook than I am, well, I guess whatever you cook will do""Why it seems like you act distance on her at some way...you are friends there is no need for boundaries right?""I am not acting distance Mom...I am just trying to be cool with her I mean she is my boss""Oh god, you know how much I know you sweetie, you like her... a lot...now tell me if I am wrong"And now I am stop with that thought, the word like is not the issue now, she is wearing the face and the body of the person I am in loved with but she is not her...she is way different, so I am not sure if I like her, maybe, within me I am, but I cannot go far with this, she never mention to me that we can go far either..."I like her as who she is, as friends, she is nice mom but if you are asking about the other things, I dont think she is really what she tries to show me""And how would you know that, you both not even get there, you two never talk about it
As I burst out in tears last time when Cara died, seriously I never got a good sleep after that, I was out of work for two days, Amber keeps calling me but I have no time answering it, I ask for chief Gilbert's approval of nightshift.Standing in front of the hospital after two days, I just let out an air...here we go...another shot Esther...you can do it! talking to my mind is enough to make me go on with the whole shift.Heading to the ER I can see that there are lots of surprises that I missed!"45 years male complaining a chest pain""Put him in bed four""Hi I am Doctor Esther, what happen to him?""He is my Dad and we just having a dinner and then he suddenly passed out after complaining a sever chest pain""Do you have a history in your family having a heart problem or suffering any chest pain?""I am not sure, but I never seen him complaining like this""Okay, we will run some test for him, we need to check what is going on the nurse will come her and then assist you, I will o
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