Loving you Again

"Scalpel," I said, and the scrub nurse handed it over.

I cut whatever I need to cut. This is my usual day, cutting and suturing, seeing blood and human flesh.

My colleagues call me Esth, short for Esther. In my 29 years of existence, I didn't expect that I would end up being a doctor, specifically a surgeon. At first I was terrified of doing all this stuff, it wasn't really my choice but my mother is a die-hard doctor who wanted to be, it's her long-lost dream!

The whole day ends with an ill body and blood in my hand. Then after cutting and suturing, I can finally rest and go home.

I don't have a boyfriend, as if! Having a tight job, do I have time to get one? Jeez! Even getting laid isn't part of my life, so to my vagina, RIP!

Even if I want to mingle with anyone or someone, nah! I cut that thought since it just always ends up worse!

There are a lot of times that I try to date anyone, everyone! But then when my profession calls... what can I do? Can I say to the sick person to wait? Or to a dying one to stay still! Damn!

So I have no choice but to run my ass out of the restaurant! I always kept my date waiting, and when I am back, they already left, so from those days on, dating and relationships aren't part of my life anymore!

After my third surgery, I decided to go by to the rooftop just to kill time. I always felt relaxed by the wind there.

Having my energizer drink and eating my sandwich while staring at those buildings somehow makes me feel better before facing another patient.

While busy hanging out alone, I was stunned when someone suddenly talked behind me.

"Chamomile tea," a woman's voice at my back,

"What? Tea what...?" I ask in confusion, then she point my drink with her lips so I look at it.

"My drink...?" I ask again,

"Change your drink with chamomile tea, much better for you," she said.

"Oh, I don't drink tea. Coffee is enough, thank you," I said.

She didn't response, so I just let her and managed my business here when my cellphone rang and as usual, it was Monica.

I just stare at my cell phone, still thinking if I was going to answer it or not,

"Answer it. Maybe it is important, try to say yes then you will never be alone anymore..." the old woman said that surprised me, then just walked away.

I answered the call, which I don't understand why I did!

"Esth! Good thing you finally answered it!" Monica said.

"It's no... I am sorry," I said.

"I didn't ask you yet," she exclaimed.

"Why? Are there any changes with what you are going to ask me, huh?" I blankly said.

"Well, I am still going to ask you the same, though there is a bit change! Curious?" she said and I can totally imagine her reaction!

"I'm not! Bye!" I said, then ended the call, but she called again, so I answered it for the last time.

"What now Monica...?" I ask.

"Caleb will join us later," she said. That stops me,

Damn! He will be there later... Caleb has been on my mind since senior high. I have a huge crush on him; he is actually part of our circle of friends but he left to study in France and now he has returned and is present at our group's hang-out later!

Monica knows how I waited for him to come back and yes, I am fucking keen to see him again, so I guess Monica expects that I will join this time. She never stops calling me and that explains why!

"Fine...! What time?" I ask.

"Really...? As in for real?" she asks,

"Yes! So what time, Monica?" I ask again and I am rolling my eyes now,

"Okay, 8 pm sharp at Felix bar, as you can see Esth, it's the same place and all you have to do is just drop by every Friday!" Monica said then ends the call, that bitch!

Hmmm.... that girl really knows me well; she has been my best friend since primary school. She knows how I have drooled over Caleb... with that man. How can I get him?

How never notice that I like him? That I love him.

After taking my break, I check on the schedule board, two minor surgeries and one major... fuck! I can't have major surgery today, so I need to ask Vannie to replace me!

"Please, Vannie! I really need to go early today! Please!" I said, asking a favour from her, who was just staring at me.

"What? What's for the stare?" I confusingly ask.

"That's new. You are going home early? Alright, before I say yes, tell me, what's behind all this?" she curiously asks.

I suddenly stopped. Am I really that obvious? That I am a fucking single who refuses to hang out or doesn't even take a work leave because I don't have a fucking reason!?

Damn! Why do I need to explain to people what is going on with my life? Shit! I keep arguing with myself, yet I can't even speak out loud!

Well, I guess I don't really have a choice!

"Fine! The man of my dream will be present later on our group hang out, and I have been waiting ever since for him to come back so I can't lose this chance to see him again. Is it now convincing to you?" I said, then rolled my eyes at her.

"Alright, the early out is all yours! But hey, promise me, you're going to get laid this time! Hahaha," Vannie said, and I left my mouth open and blushed, thinking of the last words she said!

Damn! So I guess it's confirmed that people know I am single and a fucking desperate virgin!

I just rolled my eyes at that thought before going to my minor surgeries.

Massaging my neck while going out of the operating room after finishing two surgeries, I checked the time, and I widened my eyes coz it's already 7 pm!

Fuck! I can't be late, Caleb really hates late, so I quickly changed, fixed my hair and looked for some makeup but I ended up not having one. Yeah right! Why do I need to put on makeup anyway when all my life I am just facing an unconscious person the whole day trying to make them live?

I just fix my hair instead, put on a face power and then head my way out. I know Felix bar is just 30 minutes' travel time from here.

Inside the cab, I don't know what to feel; I am not sure if I am okay or what, or how I will react to them. I mean, it has really been a long time since I last saw them; they are my friends but since I rarely hang out with them I feel unfamiliar now.

After 30 minutes, I am now at the entrance of the bar. Well, what can I expect? A loud sound and lots of people laughing. I just take a deep breath before getting in. My hands and knees are shaking as I enter.

When I took my first step, I already heard Monica's voice,

"Esth...! Here!" Monica shouts, then grabs my hand and pulls me with her.

I don't know where she will bring me, but it stops me as I stand and stare at Caleb. He is for real here. I am on my deep stare at him when Monica suddenly holds my hand and then makes me sit with the others.

"Wow! Finally! Monica convinces you!" Justin said.

"It thrilled us knowing you will finally get along with us again," Jane said.

"Why? She never hung out with you guys before?" Caleb suddenly asks and I am now looking at him.

"Hmmm, well, she is very busy, Caleb. She is now a successful thoracic surgeon!" Monica proudly said.

"That is nice to know. I mean, not everyone can be a doctor. Who would have thought right? I am happy for you!" Caleb said wearing his soft smile that always get me!

"Thanks," I simply said.

"Well bro! It is also nice that you finally came back. How long are you going to stay here?" Justin asks that suddenly interested me, too.

"Actually, I am here with my fiancé. I will introduce her to my parents and to all of you. That is going to be next month!" Caleb said that shocked my world. I suddenly stopped with what I heard and Monica threw me a look.

I don't know how to react. I just suddenly feel like drinking a lot tonight!

I grab Monica's wine and then drink it up, which surprised them!

The group knows my feelings for Caleb that he isn't aware. he didn't even know how much I love him, so right now everyone becomes quiet until Monica speaks again.

"Hmmm, why don't we play a game? You know, like the old times, the truth or dare game!" Monica said and then everyone agreed. Fuck this! I hate that game, but what can I do? They already approve of it!

They spin the bottle and it points to Justin. He chooses the truth and so they ask him a question.

"Okay, the question is.... who is your ultimate crush before in this group?" Jane asks and honestly, it scares me a bit. I mean I preferred to do the truth but with the way they ask questions I feel like doing the dare instead!

"Honestly, I have a huge admiration for you Esth, We all know how smart and kind you are and your jokes and funny stuff really got me before, My respect for you has always been here in my heart," Justin said which silenced me, I mean I didn't see that coming!

So someone has a crush on me, huh? I swear I didn't know that!

"Hmmm, thanks! I didn't expect that," I said, and Justin just smiled at me,

"Alright, let's continue! Spin the bottle now, Justin!" Monica said.

He spins the bottle, unluckily, it points to me. I didn't know what to say, truth or dare, but when Monica was about to say something, my mouth suddenly spilled out the word "dare".

"Hmmm, are you sure?" Jane asks.

I look at Caleb and he said something which I don't know why I didn't heard it but his mouth reads like...

"Game...!" Caleb said so I don't have a choice but to do it.

"Hmmm, yes," I said, and they all looked at each other whispering before facing me.

"Okay... our dare is, you need to kiss whoever the person coming out of the washroom, either from the boy's washroom or the girl's!" Monica said, which made me stand, disagreeing with what she said.

"What! No! I mean why do I need to kiss a stranger!?" I burst out but Caleb spoke,

"My fiancé and I kiss even though we are strangers and that is how we started, so I guess there is nothing wrong with that," Caleb said, making me sit and stop.

"You heard it! There is nothing wrong with that! So I guess you are game now, right?" Monica said, and that left me no choice but to do it!

"Fine...! But we need to set a time for that. I mean, are we going to wait for long just to have someone getting out in there? What if there is none?" I said.

"Well, you have a point, okay until 10 minutes. If no one comes out of the washroom within that time, then you don't need to do the dare!" Monica said, and I can see that they all agree.

Damn! Much better that way! I hope no one is inside the washroom!

We all waited until 10 minutes and it was already six-minute passed. Fuck! Only four minutes left now!

Then down to two and I was about to smile wide in victory when suddenly a woman wearing a black shirt and skinny jeans just came out of the washroom. That literally shocked me!

I can see that all of them stopped as well, knowing that the person I need to do the dare with is a woman!

"Hmmm, do I really need to do it?" I ask.

"Of course...! It is part of the deal. You can tell her about our dare but the important is you will able to kiss her!" Jane said that makes me roll my eyes.

Shit! I guess I really need to do it. If not, I will forever be a killjoy for them!

I tailed the woman, and she seems to have a few friends with her as well, Okay Esth... This is it!

I was about to approach her at their table when she suddenly stood up and walked outside. I followed her, and she was just nowhere to be found. Damn! I lost her!

Fuck! Where did she go!? Oh, God! What should I do!?

I looked for her everywhere and when I turned around, I saw Caleb guiding a woman alighted from the car, and then kissing him on the lips. I feel like my heart just broke into pieces!

I can't take it anymore looking at them so I was about to walk away from my position when I hit someone.

"Are you okay, Miss?" The woman said and when I looked at her, it surprised me to see the person I had been looking for. Damn! Finally, I found her!!!

"I am okay, hmmm, can we... can we talk?" I said even nervousness embrace my whole system right now!

"What? Why do I need to—" I cut her from talking and then kissed her. I am sure it surprised her!

I don't have a choice. I saw the rest of the group is with Caleb now outside, so I must do it for them to see that I fulfil the dare!

Then I let go of her lips and just walked out.

I quickly entered the bar, but someone grabbed my arms and pulled me somewhere. When I tried to look, it was the same woman I kissed.

"You do that, then leave? What is your problem, Miss!?" she asks in annoyance.

"Hmm, I am sorry, I just need to do that to fulfil the dare, so can we just let it pass?" I said, but she just stared at me in cross-arms before she spoke.

"Fine...! In one condition, you will drink with me...! Agree?" She said that stopped me. I mean, what kind of condition is that? I am here because I want to hang out and drink! So, of course, I will drink! Jeez!

"Alright! Just let this pass, okay?" I said, and she seemed to agree...

We were about to get in, but I saw the others bringing their bag. I faced Monica and asked her.

"Are we done already?" I ask.

"Hmm yes, I have an emergency at the house and Jane needs to go home for her mom and Justin has a few works to do, Caleb is already with her fiancé, I am sorry Esth, no worries you don't need to do the dare!" Monica said then just went with the others and left me again alone...

I sadly look at the woman beside me...

"What's with the long face? You have a deal to fulfil, so let them! I am here. I will be with you instead..." she said.

And that moment she said it, I guess I really don't have a choice but to stay with this tall and beautiful woman, well I know where this is going.... talking about a lot of boys!

Good luck to me!!!