control
"You keep doing that thing where you straighten your fork when you're thinking about what to say next."
I looked down. My fork was perfectly straight.
"How did you notice that?" I asked.
"Because I pay attention," Eli said. "To you. To how you move, what makes you uncomfortable, what patterns you fall into when you're defending yourself."
"That's slightly invasive," I said.
"It's care," Eli said. "There's a difference."
I didn't know how to respond to that because he was right. He was paying attention not to gather leverage or to prove me wrong. He was paying attention because he actually cared about understanding me.