Novels by Nancii Agosto

I don’t remember what happened exactly.I remember a nose bleed that was problematic.A conversation with Darren that was uncomfortable and then darkness. I slowly look at my surroundings to find myself still in the oncology treatment bay and Darren is sitting by my side.“What happened to me?” I groggily ask as I search my mind for answers.“You lost consciousness for a few minutes. I believe you were overwhelmed.” I could tell by his response that he was giving as little and as much information as possible.“Why was I overwhelmed?” I didn’t need to be tip-toed around. I needed to know what was happening to me.“You ran your fingers through your hair and well, some of it came out.” He fidgets with his fingers as he says what I feared most in the beginning.“I’m going to lose all of it, aren’t I?” I sit back to contemplate my life. What would it be like once I looked just as sick and they told me I was? What would people see? Or worst, how would they treat me?“Your hair can grow bac

I push the tissue to my nose and apply pressure as Darren grabs a first-aid kit on the shelf across from me - returning with a stop bleed stick and placing it gently into my nose.“What’s happening to me?” I ask in a nasal tone as I try to calm my roaring thoughts.“It’s just a side effect of the radiotherapy. Bleeding isn’t uncommon.” He says as he holds the stick inside my nose.“I’m not going to be able to go back to EnviroDoc, am I?” I needed to know if this was going to be my life as I proceed treatment.“You can go back. You just have to listen to your body and take it easy sometimes.” He makes it seem easy. “It’s going to tough for a little bit while your body tries to cope with the radiation but you can do it.”“What if I can’t?” I ask as the tears begin rolling down my face.“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you get better. This is just the beginning of a long journey but it’ll pass.” He says with a soft smile.“I’m vomiting, losing consciousn

“Are you sure about your choice?” He asks as he clasps his hands together.“My choice?” Was he referring to Maverick? My choice in one man or the other? “Yes. I know you chose to pursue treatment and since the very first one, I felt a connection to you. I know you felt it too.” He says as he makes unbreakable eye contact with me. This was not the kind of conversation I thought I’d be having while being injected with radiation.“I did but my connection with him was growing as well and he’s made me happy.” I think back to when I first met him. I had been swoon after our dream but after seeing his genuine nature - I was very enamored. His confidence, intelligence and appearance were paired with care, compassion and dedication. I never thought a man like that existed or that someone like that would be interested in me nonetheless. “I didn’t think that the moment we spoke in the bathroom would lead you to him.” He bows his head.“But it was a clarifying moment, Darren. It just didn’t go

After what has come our nightly ritual, we laid down for bed. Maverick had cuddled me close until I fell asleep.I awoke the next morning to my alarm. I’d have my first radiotherapy enhancement today. I look over to see Maverick is still sleeping and I shuffle quietly out of bed. I almost make it out until I feel a hand grab my wrist. “It’s early. What’s wrong?” I look over to see Maverick peaking at me groggily.“Treatment - today. I have to be at the hospital in twenty minutes.” I say as I stare down at the bed.“Want me to come?”“No, get some rest. I’ll only be gone about an hour.” I lean over to kiss him and then get ready to leave. I watch as he rolls onto his side and falls back to sleep.This was the first time Maverick had been there when I woke up. His chiseled features accented by the shadows of light dancing along the curtain. His hair thrown carelessly and his blue eyes - out of sight as he slept. He reminded me of what Greek mythology expressed as Gods. As u admired his

Once we get back to my apartment, Maverick wakes me gently and picks me up to bring me inside. He gently opens the door and takes me directly to my bed. He then shuts the door and brings himself back to the room, sitting down in the bed carefully.“You feeling okay?” He asks carefully as if the words were boulders that would roll over me if spoken too loudly.“Yeah. I’m just really tired.” Not a complete lies I was tired although I was more exhausted than anything and it had nothing to do with a lack of sleep. I wasn’t improving the way we had hoped, my health was slowly interfering with my life, my doctor seems intent on pursuing me even while I have my person sitting in the same bed as me, I embarrassed myself at EnviroDoc and there’s still the cherry to top it all off: I have brain cancer. A cruel sick joke that taunts me relentlessly so I meant it wholeheartedly when I said I was tired.I look up at Maverick to see his mind is steadily at work. He had read between the lines. There

After Darren left, I waited about an hour while Maverick stayed resting peacefully at my side. Waiting for my discharge was just as eerie as walking up in this same room once again.I hear a knock at the door as the nurse slowly enters. She sees Maverick sleeping and decides to speak to me quietly.“Ms. Richardson, these are your discharge papers. The doctor has added your new treatment regiment in which you’ll be following up in the oncology department. I believe he spoke with you already?” “Yes. I’m aware.” I say quietly as I try not to wake Maverick.“Okay, great. Well there are some health guidelines to follow for your condition and the doctor has added a prescription of antacids for your stomach and zofran for your nausea. I have your prescriptions as the doctor requested they be sent and filled to in-office pharmacy. Do you have any questions for me?” She asks as she carefully hands me the paperwork and a bag containing my prescriptions. “No, thank you. Am I okay to leave now?

The last few weeks have been a haze. From finding out that I’ve killed someone, to being pregnant with another set of twins and raising our boys, Logan and Lucas. Life has been busy but our house is finally being cleared from its previous status as a crime scene. I watch as our home comes into view and remember all the things my therapist had told me. ‘A place does not hold memories of trauma, we do. You cannot blame yourself for having a reaction to an action. You are healing. You will be okay.’ I see Leo smiling at the front door as he waits for Elena and I to approach with the boys. I hadn’t seen Leo since that day. I had stayed at jasmines along with Elena and asked for some time. After all that I’ve been through for him, I had to sit back and reflect on whether this was something I would be able to recover from and if my marriage to Leonardo was worth this trauma. I had been disfigured, threatened, kidnapped, abused, attacked and forced into miscarrying. The last year of my lif

Did she shoot me? I feel this pain in my shoulder and I grasp it but I don’t have time to process as I stumble back in response to the force of that one small bullet. Never in a million years did I think she’d actually fight back. She’d always been a pest and nuisance but never confrontational.What changes a woman so abruptly?“Motherhood.” My mother says as I lose my balance, falling over the banister from the second floor.“Would you have felt this for me?” I ask in a daze. I remember killing my mother but never thought once about how she felt or what her thoughts were in her final moments and I’ve never bothered to ask. “Even after what I’d done to you?”“Yes. I would have ran through the flames of that house to find you.”“Why?”“Because you’re my child. I would’ve done exactly what she had done to you if the roles were reversed. That is motherhood.”“But you can’t save me now.” I say sadly as I feel tears building in my eyes.“I can’t. But I can hold you.” She wraps her hands ar

I feel a pulsating pain radiating through my skull and sit up slightly to find a broken vase at my side. Charlotte must have done this. Where is she? I look side to side but am stopped when paramedics rush to assess my wounds. It wasn’t until they bandaged my head that I remembered what had happened. Charlotte was trying to kill Claire. I have to stop her. I jump up and push the paramedics back as I rush up the stairs to find my wife.I’m met by Mason just at the top of the stairs and I can see Claire crumbled down to the ground. She looked like she’d seen a ghost and although her body shook, she was still.“Claire!” I rush to her side and try to ground her by wrapping myself around her. Mason tells me that she is the only one able to account to what happened here. Thankfully our boys were alright.“Elena, did you see what happened?” I ask as I watch her put the boys down for naps. “Yes, Mr. Leo. Ms. Claire was protecting the boys and myself. She did well.” She says sadly as she watc

Even with the storm, I could swear that I heard a gunshot and I quickly jump out of the bed to grab my own and arm myself as I run out the door. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?” Jasmine calls after me as I run down the driveway.“Call the police and give them Leo’s address. I think they’re in danger.” I yell back as I continue running, holding gun and preparing to fire at any assailant. I push the gate open and continue down the block to their home where I see a random car parked. This couldn’t be good.I quickly pull my phone out and call the facility to check Charlotte’s status but there’s no answer. I decide to abandon that thought and focus on the danger ahead. I push forward as the wind threatens to sweep me from under my feet when I finally catch a glimpse of their house. Everything seemed to be intact but I had to make sure. I run to the door and knock but hear no response until I kick down the door. Just as I walk into the threshold, j see Leo is unconscious on the ground

Leo asked that I wait upstairs while he checked the door. I scoot closer to the bassinet where the boys were sound asleep and watch the door carefully. I didn’t realize how long I had been holding my breath until I see Leo reappear and let out a deep sigh and gasp for air.“It’s okay. It must’ve been the wind.” He says as he rushes to my side, holding me form doh long over as I try to inflate my lungs rapidly.“Okay.” I nod quickly as I continue heaving.“It’s okay. We’re all fine.” After a few minutes of silence, I hear my alarm on my phone indicating that it was, once again, feeding time. “How about you stay here and I’ll grab the bottles.” “No, it’s okay. I can do it.” I reassure him. The truth was that I needed a moment alone. I then get up to get my pump supplies and their bottles while Leo watches the boys as Lucas had begun to stir.I could still feel the weariness of the storm lingering over me as I descend the stairs and walk towards the kitchen. It felt like I was walking

Some may think it’s odd that I’d feel so comfortable as to knock on the front door, even to knock as though it were urgent. But there was a method to my madness. I know Leo. He’s far too chivalrous to allow Claire to open the door, nonetheless during a ramped storm. He’s going to be the one to come to the door and while he makes his pace, I’ll be making mine to the back to find a point of access and try to catch a view of where my target was.I watch as Leo goes to the door and I have to fight the urge to run back to the front and jump into his arms. I watch as he examines the area and returns inside and I find that the back sliding door’s lock had been damaged by the falling debris. Just my luck coming into play, I have the perfect point of entry.“You cannot do this! You cannot harm those you love.” My mother screeches at me in the pouring rain.“I would never hurt Leo.”“But you have.” I decide to ignore her. Seeing as I could be heard at any moment.I wait until I see Leo go back

After finding out about our child, I’d done exactly as Lincoln suggested.I sat back and let Officer Pennet and Miller take the lead.It’s been two weeks and I’d been told that I should expect an update today.I thought I’d feel something.Anger.Relief.Vindication.Maybe even happiness.But as I sat curled up on the couch with a blanket draped over my legs and listened to Lincoln quietly relay the news he’d gotten from Pennet over the phone, all I felt was…Tired.Not physically.Not even emotionally.Just tired in a way that settled deep into my bones.Rebecca Smithsdale was gone.Blaire would spend the rest of her life behind bars.Alan had left with Jeremy.And somehow, after everything…The world hadn’t stopped turning.People still went to work.Traffic still clogged the roads.The sun still rose every morning.And life—Life simply carried on.I stared down at the mug of warm honey milk resting between my palms.“Jess?”Lincoln’s voice was gentle.Careful.Like he was afraid I

I was halfway through a report when I saw a pair of boots stop at my desk.Not unusual.Nothing in our line of work ever stayed quiet for long.I looked up to find Deputy Castro standing in the doorway.Something about his expression made me put my pen down.“What’s wrong?” I asked. The man was usually unshakeable. He swallowed.“It’s Smithsdale.”I frowned.“What about her?”His eyes shifted.“They found her.”The room fell strangely silent.No ringing phones.No chatter.Nothing.Just those three words hanging in the air like a cutting thread.They found her.For a moment, I simply stared at him.Not because I didn’t understand.Because I did.Immediately.Too immediately.I exhaled slowly and rubbed a hand over my face.“When?”“About twenty minutes ago.”I nodded.Neither of us spoke.There wasn’t much to say.Eventually, Castro cleared his throat.“Medical examiner’s on scene.”I nodded again.“Thank you.”He quietly left.And I sat there.Staring at absolutely nothing.I should

Blaire was a sorry sight.Not that she’d ever admit it.She still carried herself with the same arrogance she’d had the day we arrested her. The same superiority. The same delusion.Most people eventually accepted reality.Blaire fought it tooth and nail.She was still convinced Alan would come back.Still hopeful he’d wake up one day and realize she’d been worth throwing his life away for.Hopeful that he’d change his mind.And he had.Just not in the way she’d wanted.He’d gone from loving her and wanting to build a life together to hating her entirely.I was actually the first to hear about his request for relocation.My Sargent had gotten a kick out of it.Hell, he’d practically shoved the paperwork into my hands with a grin.“Thought you’d appreciate this one, Pennet.”He wasn’t wrong.Miller would’ve loved it too.Though lately, my partner had more important things occupying his time.Namely Olivia.Funny enough, I’d never seen him smile so much.Not after arrests.Not after com

I hated the smell.I hated the food.I hated the fluorescent lights that never seemed to shut off.But most of all—I hated being alone.This wasn’t supposed to happen.None of it.Alan was supposed to leave Jessie.He was supposed to realize that I was the one who understood him.The one who loved him.The one who sacrificed everything.Instead, I was sitting in a cage while that pathetic little victim probably had everyone wrapped around her finger again.Typical Jessie.Things had always come easy for her.The loving father.The perfect life.The sympathy.Even when she cried, people rushed to save her.But me?Nobody had ever saved me.Nobody had ever chosen me.Except Alan.And now even he hadn’t shown his face.Two weeks.Two damn weeks.Not a call.Not a letter.Nothing.The last I’d seen of him was when he’d wrapped his fingers around my neck..I refused to believe that meant anything.He loved me.He had to.After everything we’d done…After everything we’d risked…He couldn’

My hand drifted to my stomach without thinking. Nothing had changed. I didn’t look different. I couldn’t feel anything. Yet somehow, everything had changed. There was a life growing inside me. Mine. Lincoln’s. Ours. A tiny miracle born not from pain, but from love. And despite the tears streaming down my face, a smile found its way there too. Because for the first time in years, when I thought about tomorrow… I wasn’t afraid. I was hopeful. My eyes drifted to Lincoln’s, and I could see tears streaming down his cheeks. He quickly tried to brush them away before inhaling deeply, attempting to regain his composure. “Now we know how to proceed,” he said without hesitation. “We let Officers Miller and Pennet take over, and we take a backseat. It’s time to think about our family.” I nodded silently and rested my head against his chest. The steady rise and fall of his breathing soothed the storm inside me. Just as I slid my arms around his waist, a knock at the door shattered

Acting fearless and brave in the face of uncertainty had become my strong suit.A well-developed tactic I’d developed for my career and have now used relentlessly with the woman I love.I want Jess to feel stability and protection.Even if I don’t feel that myself.I feel her hand tightening around mine as I lead her toward the bathroom where answers await.Truthfully, I’m glad she’s not close enough to hear my heart drumming in my chest.I’m terrified of what this answer might be.I’m scared that it’s not going to be what I want it to.Not because I would love her any less.Not because I would leave.Hell, she’d have to pry me away with a crowbar at this point.But because somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, I’d allowed myself to hope.And hope is a dangerous thing.Hope means something can be lost.Hope means putting your heart on the line and praying life doesn’t strike an arrow through it.God knows Jess and I have had enough arrows shot our way.I stop outside the