LOGINI watch the video three more times unable to stop myself.
Soren was laughing, holding a glass of whiskey... whiskey! He's broken his own rule. He leaned into Elizabeth and calls her by a nickname I'd heard in passing many years ago. That makes her giggle and his gray eyes seem to light up at the sight of it. Six years I've known Soren sober, controlled, careful with everything he does. Six years without a single drink in this house. And yet there he is, laughing loud enough that I can hear it through my phone speaker. "Welcome home, Liz," he says in the video, arm out, pulling her into the group like she never left. In every memory I have of him, he's calm, steady, and his warmth never once reached his eyes. He's never smiled at me like that. Never used that tone on me, not once. So it isn't that he doesn't know how to be warm. He just never wanted to be, not with me. I bite on the inside of my cheek and try to suppress the ache that spread through my chest. That video drags me into a rabbit hole and I find Elizabeth's social media account, and scroll through it. A few minutes later, the sun is brighter, a stark contrast to the darkness I felt hovering over me. "Mrs. Malcolm, are you up?" Our housekeeper's voice carries up the stairs. "What would you like for dinner tonight? I would like to add it to my list of meals for this morning." I open my mouth to say make what he likes, out of habit more than anything, but she gets there first. "Mr. Soren won't be joining you. He said not to wait on him." I nod like I hadn't already known. I'd seen it on Elizabeth's page before Belle even opened her mouth — a dinner reservation, tagged location, a string of little heart emojis under the post. I knew immediately that Soren was going to be there. I eat breakfast alone, same as every morning. Usually I spend the hours after running scales just to have something to do before he comes home, filling the silence in this house with my own voice so I don't have to listen to how empty it actually is. Today I have somewhere else my attention needs to go. I open my email and read the theater's message one more time before typing my reply. Confirmed. I'll record the demo tonight and send it over by the end of the week. My finger hovers over send a second longer than it needs to. Then I hit it. A breath leaves me, and for the first time in longer than I can remember, it feels like relief instead of dread. Thirty days are already counting down in my head. That evening, I change out of my house clothes into something plain, pull my coat on, and head for the door. Belle catches me on the way out. "I'm going to meet some friends, I'll be back soon." I tell her. It isn't true. I'm on my way to a studio a few streets over to lay down the demo, and I don't feel like explaining that to anyone in this house, not even her. The car cuts through the restaurant district to skip traffic, and that's when I see Soren's car, parked right outside a place I recognize — one of the private ones, the kind with rooms instead of tables, the kind he's never once taken me to. I tell the driver to stop. I don't know what makes me get out, it was stupid but I did it anyway. I walk in past the host like I belong there, straight down the hall, until I reach a private room near the end. The door isn't shut all the way. There's a lacquered screen just inside it, meant to block the entrance from view, and I slip into the gap between the screen and the wall where the light doesn't reach. From here I can see the whole table. No one at it can see me. "Normally we can't drag him out for anything," a man's voice says, raising his glass toward Soren. "But she's back for two days and he drops everything." Laughter follows. I recognize a few of the men from photos I've seen over the years — Soren's friends, men who've never once been introduced to me. I know Elizabeth's face better than I know most of my own family's. Heiress to the Stone family, raised alongside Soren and his circle since they were children, the youngest of the group, doted on by every one of them. We've never spoken more than a few words to each other back when we attended the same school. There's nothing between us, not really. There never needed to be. "You've been with me every single day since I got back," she says, voice pitched sweet, innocent. "Isn't your wife upset?" "With a face like that," one of the men says, "she wouldn't dare complain about anything." The table laughs. "What happened to her face?" Elizabeth asks, leaning in like she's genuinely curious. "Burns," another one answers. "Bad ones. Honestly, we all feel for Soren, having to live with that every day. She's nowhere near good enough for him as it is, and he can't even take her anywhere looking like that. He's said it himself — her face isn't exactly fit for public viewing." The man snorted like it was the punchline to a joke. Like I was a joke. I gritted my teeth and held back, I shouldn't have come here. "Six years married and I've never even seen a photo of her," someone else adds. "Didn't know you had a wife at all until Marcus mentioned it." I stand frozen in the dark behind that screen, listening to six years of hiding my own face get handed around a dinner table like a party trick. A bitter smile pulls at my mouth. He's never taken me to a single one of these dinners. Never brought me to a party, never introduced me to a single person sitting at this table. Half the room didn't even know he had a wife until tonight. Isn't it all because of my face? "Why did you even marry her, then?" Elizabeth asks with clear mirth in her voice. "She saved my life," Soren says flatly in the voice he uses when he doesn't want to talk about something. "I owe her." "Owe her, sure," one of the men says, swirling his drink. "But you don't owe her your whole life. Pay her off, set her up somewhere nice, and be done with it. Why keep a woman like that in your house, staring at that disgusting face every morning?" "Is it really that hideous?" Elizabeth asks, soft with fake concern, like the question costs her something to ask. A chair scrapes back. "Watch this," a man says, voice pitched high and mocking, muffled like he's clapped a hand over half his face. "Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" My fists clench tightly and my nails dug deep into my palms. The whole table breaks into laughter, loud enough that it rattles something loose behind my ribs that had been holding steady for six straight years. I step out from behind the screen and push the door open.I turn and find my favorite professor from university standing behind me, drying her hands on a paper towel, face lighting up like she's stumbled onto the best surprise of her week."Venice! It really is you!" She crosses the restroom in two quick steps and pulls me into a hug before I can get her name out. Her perfume is the same one she always wore during my lessons, floral and warm, dragging me straight back a decade to a rehearsal room with mirrors on every wall."Professor Hale." My voice cracks, and I clear my throat to cover it, blinking against the sudden sting behind my eyes. "It's good to see you.""How are you?" She pulls back to look at me properly, hands still on my shoulders, studying my face the way she used to study my posture before a performance — chin up, shoulders back, don't you dare slouch on my stage. Her thumbs press lightly into my collarbones, an old habit from years of correcting my posture backstage. "I heard you accepted the coaching position. I'm the one
The apology I wanted to give stuck in my throat and my smile died down underneath his searching eyes. He looks up and down my body like he's searching for an injury. A few seconds later, the concern leaves his eyes as he finds nothing."What were you thinking, Venice?!" He questioned sharply."Why didn't you come home?" His eyes cut past me toward the studio entrance, jaw tight, a muscle ticking along the side of it. "And what were you doing in there?""Passing by." My voice comes out flatter than I mean it to. "I wanted a look inside, so I did."I wasn't going to tell him about my plans, not after all that has happened in the past two days.He doesn't press it. Instead he reaches for my bag and pulls my phone out before I can stop him. He unlocks it with ease, because my password isn't a secret to him...nothing in my life is. His thumb swipes down the screen, scrolling through the missed calls with a frown etched into his features."Do you know how worried I was? Why didn't you answ
I stare at his name, heart pounding so hard I felt it in my throat.I decline the call without a second thought.How can he think to call me after what he did?A message follows a second later.Soren: Stop sulking. It's late, come home now.I groan and try to block out the image of of him waiting at home for me, I archive his message and try turn off my phone when my thumb taps on the gallery icon.At the top of it is a memory it signifies from seven years ago, a video I recognized from just the thumbnail.I held my breath and tapped it.It's me, twenty-one, standing under a spotlight that made the whole world feel like it was finally starting. My voice fills the room, clean and bright, hitting a note I haven't tried to reach in six years. My hair is down. My face is unmarked. I remember exactly what it felt like walking out under those lights without once wondering how anyone was looking at me, chin lifted, shoulders back, no hair to hide behind. I watch myself take the final bow, fl
I push the door open.For a moment, nobody notices. The table is still too wrapped up in itself to see me standing there. Elizabeth is curled against Soren's chest, her fingers hooked into his shirt collar, laughing too loud at whatever one of the men just said. Another comment follows — something about how I probably don't even own a mirror — and the whole table dissolves into laughter again, hers the loudest, gleeful, delighted, like she's never had this much fun in her life. Soren says nothing. He doesn't laugh, but he doesn't stop it either.I stand in the doorway, unseen, and listen to them tear me apart a little more.Elizabeth is curled against Soren's chest, her fingers hooked into his shirt collar, her laugh still hanging in the air. He doesn't move to shrug her off. His arm is loose around her waist like it's been there all night, like it belongs.The friend nearest the door — the one who mimicked my voice a few seconds ago, hand still half-lifted from his own face — sees me
I watch the video three more times unable to stop myself.Soren was laughing, holding a glass of whiskey... whiskey!He's broken his own rule.He leaned into Elizabeth and calls her by a nickname I'd heard in passing many years ago. That makes her giggle and his gray eyes seem to light up at the sight of it.Six years I've known Soren sober, controlled, careful with everything he does. Six years without a single drink in this house. And yet there he is, laughing loud enough that I can hear it through my phone speaker."Welcome home, Liz," he says in the video, arm out, pulling her into the group like she never left. In every memory I have of him, he's calm, steady, and his warmth never once reached his eyes.He's never smiled at me like that. Never used that tone on me, not once. So it isn't that he doesn't know how to be warm. He just never wanted to be, not with me.I bite on the inside of my cheek and try to suppress the ache that spread through my chest.That video drags me into a
|VENICE|I stood frozen outside my husband's study, the plate of cake in my grasp nearly slipping off my fingers."Mhm." Soren groaned. It was strained, but loud enough that I could hear it through the small crack in the door.Against my better judgment, I moved closer to the crack and peeked through.His broad back is to me and his shirt seemed to be half open, one hand braced flat on the desk and his taut shoulders moving. His head hangs low. His breath comes out in short, rough pulls. Slowly I watched his elbow move, up and down, his head pushed back against the seat and as he turned slightly, I saw his lips parted.He was masturbating.In front of him, the monitor glows blue and a woman's face fills the screen, impossibly beautiful. Laughing at something off camera, chin tipped up.Elizabeth."Liz..." He breathed into the silent night, his voice low, thick with desire he's never once felt for me.The realization wrapped around my heart in a vice grip and I ripped my gaze away. It







