Probability Of...

"Can any of you give me the definition of Probability?" The teacher asked the whole class.

Probability.

What is the probability of me having a longer life here on earth? I guess 1 out 10 chances.

I'm not really worried about that. If my probability to live is less than the others, then I might as well live my life to the fullest and enjoy the little things that come my way.

Now what would be the first thing that I would do? Should I follow my bucket list? I know there is also a least probability that I will finish all that was written on the list in just eight months but nevertheless I will do all of it, or at least I will try my best to.

"Miss Mendez, do you mind if you share your daydream with us?" I was surprised because everyone was looking at me and the teacher was right in front of me. That happened real quick.

What should I do? This is embarrassing. I wanna slap myself right now.

Ugh.

"I-i was thinking about it's definition ma'am" Then I stood up and told them the definition of probability.

Probability.

It isn't just something found in your statistics class. It could happen in real life. Sometimes I wish probability was not discovered or formulated so that I would not know my little chance of living here.

The class ended right away and it's lunch break already. That is why I headed straight to the cafeteria.

I did not order much and then started eating while talking on the phone with Mal, my best friend. I missed her because we didn't get to see each other last weekend

I was so ecstatic talking to her that I didn't notice someone was sitting right in front of me.

"You're the new girl right?" The girl asked me. She was full of make up along with her friends.

I told Mal that I'd hang up the call.

I stared at her then smiled but she just rolled her eyes over me.

What's wrong with her? Do I know this girl? Did I do something to her?

"Im Heiro's ex-girlfriend but technically we're still seeing each other so you better stay away from him if you don't want any trouble. Got that?" I felt my body shudder. What is she talking about? I don't even intend to be friends with Killian, just until our project is over.

Ex girlfriend, so what? Oh please, I barely have enough time to do what I want. This is some sort of nonsense.

Nonsense. She was so cringe.

"Okay" I gave a short, strong reply then I continued eating but I noticed she didn't leave. Oh c'mon.

I'm eating for crying out loud. I hate people staring at me when I'm eating. This is too much.

I was about to stand and go outside but she grabbed a hold of my hand.

"That's not a warning, that's a threat" She added. Like I'm stupid enough not to know that it's a threat. What does she think of me? Oh right, she doesn't even know me.

Well whatever, this week is almost over and so is my connection with Killian. I don't have to deal with this childish girl anymore.

Fortunately, she let go of my hand. I didn't really look at her so I don't know if she's furious or what.

"Are you done?" I asked her a sarcastic question to make her calm, then after that I walked out.

I'm not the bitchy type of girl but if accused of something I did not even do or if i'm threatened by someone, I sometimes become a monster. Way way back, but it's a long story and I've got class to attend to so I'll tell you later.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

After a week

Another week has passed but every day seemed so long for me. I'm beginning to get bored in class because I always read in advance and yeah, I understood it clearly enough by myself without a teacher teaching.

Then why did you enter college?

For experience, duh. I just want to know what it's like to be in college and to be part of a campus. I guess? Ugh. Stop interrupting me, stupid conscience.

"Vey, someone's waiting for you" I heard mum calling me. Who? Is it Mal? But she always goes straight ahead upstairs and doesn't even wait in the living room.

Maybe it's my childhood friend. Other than my longtime best friend, I had a childhood sweetheart companion when I was younger. We always hang out in the garden and our favorite game was playing hide and seek, but one time when we played hide and seek in the garden. I was the seeker and he hid but I could not find him. I searched for hours but still no sign of him.

I cried and cried because I could not find him then mom and dad hugged me. I told them I lost my friend but they told me he just left. His family left hours ago, they're going to live in another place.

"Killian? Why are you here? What's the matter?" I'm already outside my room and I saw him.

To my dismay, it was not my childhood friend. Well, I can not clearly remember his face and there are no photographs of us because he doesn't like taking pictures that much.

"I have a deal to offer" I was curious like a cat so I immediately went downstairs. Now what he is up to? Does he think we're that close? How come dad just let him in? Where is dad by the way?

"What is it? Is it that important that you have to drive all the way here?" I seriously asked. He has a car. A vintage mustang, but it doesn't look rusty because it's well taken care of.

"Let's go outside your garden" He replied. What did he just say? How does he know we have a garden? Has he been waiting for so long that he roamed around our house?

He held my hand and dragged me outside the house.

"Uh, you can let go now Killian" We're already standing in our garden and he was still holding my hand. Now that I mentioned it, this was my first time back in our garden.

Since that day my childhood friend whom I called Roro, left me. I was not really aware of his real name because I did not bother to ask, well anyway I never came back here because I was traumatized. It feels like everytime I come here, somebody is going to leave me.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that" I just looked at him strangely. I don't know what he was doing here and why we're here.

"So? What is it you're about to tell me?" I asked him seriously because my feet are itching to get away from here.

"I want to be your boyfriend, let me court you Race." My jaw dropped. I mean literally. Is he serious? Is he toying with me?

"W-what's gotten into you?" I stammered. This is not funny at all. If he's playing around I will surely kick his head.

"Please, just give me a chance. I promise you won't regret it." I frowned at him but he's just looking at me with full sincerity. Does this mean he's really serious? Is he really?

"Why? What's your reason Killian? Look, I'm not like most girls. I dont have time for this. Just go back to your ex who is apparently jealous at me over nothing" I can't believe I said that. Stupid mouth, why can't you just shut up?

"Are you talking about Sasha? I don't like her, I don't even love her." He sat on the ground leaving me standing in front of him so I also sat beside him, because I don't have a choice. I kinda miss doing this in the garden. But now is not the right time to reminisce.

"Then do you like me? Why do you like me already? We only met recently. You don't even know the real me" Truth be told, I'm trembling right now. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to handle these things. It's my first time to encounter a guy that confessed his feelings to me.

Wait, he did not even confess. Ugh.

"You don't need to know that perfect someone in a long period of time to figure out your true feelings. Sometimes you only need a week or so. Just please, please give me a chance?" He gently said while looking at me. I can't look at his eyes because it's starting to get really watery like he's about to cry.

Ugh.

Someone help me. I don't know what to do anymore.

Keep calm Veronika. Get your mind straight. Remember your preparation, you don't need a reason to not want to leave the world peacefully.

Right. That's exactly it. Thanks for that inner voice, I thought you're useless.

"Look, I'm not easy to deal with. I'm not like your typical, sexy, beautiful type of girl. Im sorry but I can't" I just can't. Not because I don't like him. There I admit, I do like him. But not like I super like him to the point where I could say that I'm in love, just infatuated. He's handsome for crying out loud, that I will not deny.

I was about to stand up but he stopped me and held my hand. I felt something unusual when he held my hand. It's like a spark of electricity flowing over my body.

What does that mean?

"Please Veronika Race. I beg you, just one chance" Dang it. Why won't he stop? I already rejected him. This was harder than I thought.

I know he won't stop until I say the words he wants to hear, and I really just want it over and done with.

"Fine. I'm giving you one chance. That's it, I'm not sure if you will really be my boyfriend, though. So don't be too overjoyed" He embraced me tightly and then gave a smile that was priceless. I faked a smile at him.

I'll be giving him a hard time when he starts so he'll leave me and realize he doesnt love me. I know eventually he would find another one and that's a bigger possibility than holding on to me.

I just hope I made the right decision and I won't regret it later on.