The Unwritten Secret

Emily's POV - Flashback

Emily stood outside the pediatric hospital on a cold night with her baby in her arms. “I'm sorry, my baby”. Her voice shook uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, my child." Tears rolled down her face.

“But it hurts to know that I cannot keep you, my love”. She sniffled, while wiping the tears from her eyes with one palm, and the other held onto her baby –he was wrapped in a white blanket.

Emily held him close to her chest, as if she was not ready to let go just yet.

Broadway Pediatric Hospital - the name was visible on the front of the building. The nurses had promised her that they would legally place the baby for adoption, still, she didn't feel any better

Looking down at him, her heart pierced at the sight of his smile. He looked happy curling up in her arms, with his tiny feet kicking under the blanket.

“I promise you'll be safer with someone else”. She said with a barely audible voice.

Gently, she put her lips on his forehead.

She bent as she carefully put him in the basket she had brought with her, which was directly beside her.

Emily tried to force a smile while she gently stroked his cheeks –even though the tears disagreed with her.

His giggle made her heart twist. She felt like a traitor for letting her son experience betrayal at a tender age.

No mother would do that.

She pulled herself up and hurriedly wiping away the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

Although it was a difficult choice to make, she knew if she didn't let go, she’d change her mind.

Her trembling hands knocked quickly on the gate.

She hadn't written a name, or a note to leave behind. No explanation could justify what she was doing.

After one last look, she turned and started walking away.

The cry of her baby kept breaking her heart with every sound. She had to be strong and not look back.

She hadn't let him out of her sight throughout the day –because she knew it'd be her last time with him.

Children were supposed to be gifts from God, but right now, she wasn't sure if hers was a curse or a blessing.

And it was because of one man.

Leo Worthington.

She had planned a beautiful love life with Leo. A long-lasting love. Although she knew she wasn't in his league, she still risked her heart to him.

She didn't give up when Leo hid her from the public, or when Mr Cedric Worthington, Leo's father, offered her money to stay away from him –after a picture of both of them was uploaded on the internet.

He threw the envelope on her like she was some kind of trash. “You don't deserve to be seen with my son”.

“You're below his league and that's bad for my legacy, so use the money and work on your life”. He said, in his husky voice.

“I know you don't want me for your son, but I don't want your money either”.

Of course she refused, she loved Leo –even though he barely reciprocated it.

“You’re nothing but a mess, take it or leave it. But don't ever make me waste my time, cleaning up photos on the internet”. He said, coldly.

She made up her mind not to leave Leo, no matter what happened. Not even money could change her mind.

He'd grow to love her as much as she did. Well, so she hoped.

She endured his emotional abuses, uncontrollable sexual urge, his control and constant reminder that he could get any woman he liked.

One time she asked why he got mad when she spoke about public affections.

His reply was, “I'm literally doing you a favor by being with you. Be grateful to me. That's the least you could do”.

She didn't dare ask about it again, to avoid an answer that'd be worse.

Oh, don't even get her started with the sex, it was only on his own terms. No matter how tired or less in the mood she was, if he wanted sex, he expected her to comply.

The last sex they had together got her pregnant. She wasn't supposed to be excited, but she was; because she felt he'd finally love her genuinely and treat her right.

But, after arriving at his house and getting closer to his room to announce the big news, her smile which had enveloped her face a few minutes ago, was wiped away by what she heard.

“Fuck me, Leo –yes!!!. I love you baby”. She stood still as her eyes widened. Through the half open door, she could only see Leo's face.

He looked so happy as he kept thrusting in and out of the woman.

He was never this happy when they fucked. But there he was, enjoying every bit of himself with someone else.

At that moment she gave up. That was the night she swore to stop fighting for his love.

She didn't see the woman's face, and wasn't interested. There was no point knowing who she was –it wasn't her fault.

If Leo had revealed her to the public, maybe, just maybe this woman wouldn't be fucking him.

Leo didn't deserve to know she was pregnant anymore. He or his self-entitled father didn't deserve to ever know.

If he didn't care about her, then he sure as hell wasn't going to ever care about his baby. His father didn't like her for him anyway.

There was no one she could talk to, or anyone to console her. Her only sister and family, Ava, was away in Chicago –undergoing her one year fashion course.

Emily couldn't let her know about her pregnancy. It was best she only knew about the break up.

Her colleagues at work were only judgemental. She couldn't tell them who her baby daddy was. No one would believe her if she tried.

If anyone ever asked, she would tell them she lost the baby, nothing more. No one deserved any explanation.

Emily wiped the tears off her cheek now, as she stood far away from the hospital. Far enough no one would recognize her.

Although the hospital had a legal process for mothers who wanted to give their baby up for adoption –Emily refused to go through it.

She hadn't recovered from Leo's betrayal, the shame and the heartbreak.

Not being able to be traced was the right thing, that was why she chose to avoid the documents and papers.

What if she had terminated the pregnancy, would it have been any better?. Would the guilt be any lesser?.

Why did she let herself get pregnant?. Why did she ever think that someday, Leo was going to love her as well?.

She should have known better than to fall for a famous, powerful billionaire. If she had just walked away from him at the beginning, she wouldn't be here right now.

The cries of her baby had stopped now. Emily broke down in tears, squeezing her chest tightly and covering her mouth –restricting the sound of her cries.

She was ready to move on now. Move on from the Worthingtons, from the pain, and the judgements.

But she knew one thing –she could never move on from the guilt of abandoning her child in front of that hospital gate.