SICK TALK

ASHLEY

“Boring right?” A young out-of-shape man says, leaning into my space. He holds up a bottle with the name “VODKA” boldly written on it, a greasy smile plastered on his face. “How about we go over to my place and I show you what real fun looks like?”

“Fuck off, sicko,” I snap, the irritation boiling over. “Get a soul first.” I roll my eyes at him as he walks off with his sagged shoulders.

Today is my birthday and I'm supposed to be home, celebrating with my college friends, instead I'm at a ……club, standing on the dancing floor and forcefully moving my body to the rhythm of an awfully weird music for an hour and half now.

I know. I have an option to leave. But I can't—not when my best friend, Caleb Cruz is also here.

I sigh audibly, the sound swallowed by the thumping bass of the music, and gulp down the medium glass of wine I am holding.

I don't know if it is alcoholic or some regular red wine, but I pray it is alcoholic so it can numb the irritation prickling under my skin.

At that moment, Caleb appears, along with a not-so-pretty girl draped over his arm like a permanent leech he can't get off. She flicks her tongue, her wide, cat-like eyes fixed on me.

“That is not too pleasant, Ashley,” she purrs, her voice dripping with fake concern. You were too harsh on the poor guy.”

I don't even bother giving her the satisfaction of a glance. She is Mirabel, the fuck bitch of the rich boys at my college and my nemesis in art class. Only she knows why she chose Caleb as a target this time. Or Caleb chose her… I really don't get it.

My eyes quickly move to Caleb standing beside her. His eyes are fixed on her ass, his hands buried on her ass as he squeezes it tightly.

The sight makes the wine turn sour in my stomach.

“Caleb baby, tell Ashley that she was being rude,” Mirabel says, turning to Caleb and pressing a lingering kiss to his soft lips.

He finally looks up at me, but his mind is far from here. It is evident.

“He was just trying to have fun, Ash. This is a club after all,” he mutters, now pressing his dick area to her ass. His body language makes it clear where his priorities are. “Don't be such a buzzkill and… just try to have a good time. For me, alright?”

For him.

I am standing here, in a slim, sleeveless, uncomfortable black dress that barely hides my panties, in a room full of people with weird taste in music and on a day that is supposed to be my best day—and all for him. All for him to notice me, have a good time with me, probably kiss me and… more.

What a sick talk coming from him!

Twenty years of friendship and four years of a soul-crushing love for him, yet, he never understands what I really want.

Yet, I shove aside those thoughts each time I look at his cute face, with wavy brown hair hanging around his eyes.

“I want to have a good time with you, Caleb,” I manage, trying not to sound too desperate. “Isn't that why I agreed to come with you to a club?”

He pulls away from Mirabel and looks at me, his eyes finally focused.

“But we're having a great time, Ash. You're just stiff because it's your first time here. You need to loosen up.”

“No, Caleb,” I blurt out before I can filter my words. “A good time only with the both of us. Not with some bi chic appearing from who knows where.”

“That's not so nice, Ash,” Caleb says, shaking his head.

“Ohhhh,” Mirabel cuts in, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I get what you mean, Ashley.” She is probably angered by the fact that I called her a bi, even though she is.

I furrow my brows in annoyance. I can feel my body heat up just from her unwanted presence here.

“And what do you think I mean?”

Mirabel’s eyes rake over me in a way that makes the hair on my skin stand. “You practically want Caleb to be all over you at this club, right? With his hard dick in your little virgin hole, and all. That's why you agreed to be here, isn't it?”

I feel my cheeks flame. I squeeze my hands at my sides, my nails piercing into my palms. What exactly is she aiming for, saying that?

My eyes quickly dart to Caleb. He is entirely avoiding my eyes. “Let's go to the bar. I need another drink.”

“Come on Caleb. She just wants you to see her naked. It's that simple.”

“I've seen her naked,” Caleb replies almost immediately. “It doesn't faze me.”

“Oof,” Mirabel pouts. Her eyes still rake over me and land on my slightly exposed boobs. “She's pretty and innocent though. I'm suddenly dying to see her delicate boobs.”

What's her problem? Is she having fun mocking me? Mocking my virgin body? Or is she genuinely interested because she's bisexual?

So much for a birthday. Mirabel's words don't sting as much as Caleb's solid words do. I grab my bag from the sofa nearby and walk past the two of them, pushing through the crowd to head out the front door.

If I stayed there a minute longer, I might either have an outburst there or nearly kill someone's daughter.

Fuck my thoughts and imaginations. What did I expect would happen with Caleb and I tonight?

“Hold on,” Caleb calls behind me. “Don't tell me you're upset about the talk, Ash. Where are you going?”

I'm not upset in the slightest. How can I be upset over a little talk about my virgin hole and Caleb saying seeing me naked doesn't faze him? Surely, I'm not.

A deep lie I try to tell myself.

I finally exit the club and hail a taxi desperately. But before I can get an empty taxi to stop, Caleb catches up to me and grabs my hand.

“Stop, Ash,” he says, the smell of strong alcohol escaping his mouth. “Where are you running off to? Is it because I brought Mirabel with me?”

I look away from him, still trying to flag down a taxi with my other hand.

“I don't care about that. It's not exactly the tenth time I've seen you kissing a random girl. But I still live by a curfew, remember?”

He sighs. “Let me take you home in my car then.”

I pull my hand away from his grip. “Not when you're drunk, surely.”

Mirabel comes out of the club at that moment, giggling with a random young man she had just met. The man leaves, while Mirabel approaches Caleb.

“Let's finish the party at my place, Caleb baby. It will be an amazing night.” She locks her arm with Caleb's hand, winking at me.

Caleb glances at her, then back at me. It doesn't take up to three seconds for him to abandon me on the pavement by myself.

“Alright. Get home quickly, Ash. I'll call tomorrow.” Mirabel pulls him along, giggling and pressing another kiss to his mouth.

My eyes suddenly begin to tear up while I try to fight back the tears. I don't honestly know why. Maybe it's because I am left alone on my birthday by someone who means a lot in my life or because he doesn't actually see me as someone he can love.

~~~~~

For two weeks, I avoided seeing Caleb.

If he texts, I respond with a mere ‘ok.’ If he calls, I reject the call, lying about having a sore throat.

It was bad enough that I was totally embarrassed on my birthday, but it hurt more when he didn't try to make Mirabel shut up. Or probably his words that still sting till now.

I spend twenty-four hours each day burying myself in my art. I loved painting and drawing. It was the only thing that could keep me calm.

But like a bad timing from the universe or whatever, there is always a way for Caleb and I to meet again.

“Sweetie, we need to talk to you,” my mum says as she enters my art room. It was like a sacred room in the house reserved for only me.

I do not look up from the canvas or stop painting. “I'm listening.”

“You're going to spend the rest of the summer at Caleb's family mansion in Spain.”