CHAPTER NINETEEN: The Things We Do in Silence

ADELE'S POV

Julian is snoring.

I want to place my pillow on his face and press down.

I peel my sleeping mask off and make out his silhouette in the darkness. He lay curled up like a fetus.

I want to wake him up, but that'll be unfair. He had a long couple of weeks–getting brutally mauled by me in a sleepwalking episode, almost blinded by Celeste.

I'll let him snore just a little more. I twisted my body to the side and fluffed a duvet over him, tucking him in at the chin.

My chest burned as I pulled myself up and I panted softly for a few seconds.

My head throbbed steadily and my vision blurred as I buried myself in my pillows.

I felt a tad guilty for taking Julian's bed. It's not that I don't want to rest my head on his perfect chest and have him lull me to sleep. So much has happened but so little has changed.

I signed a contract with strict rules. No matter what happens, this will end in two years. I'm not strong enough to keep my heart on ice for that long. Julian makes it so hard.

And then there's Celeste. Their hushed whispers outside the door were fierce but held promise.

There was something in Julian's eyes when he looked at her. I'm yet to place a finger on it, but I can bet on the fact that he's not over her entirely.

The boxed wedding ring in his wardrobe was a stark reminder.

I closed my eyes and prayed for sleep, but it eluded me. The meds had worn off. I felt everything. Every nerve on my body was alive, sending steady waves of pain to my brain.

The doctor said I was lucky. I bet he wouldn't say the same in my shoes.

My thoughts bounced around in my head, terrorizing me.

I've done a lot of things in my sleepwalking state, but falling down a staircase was new.

You've hit a new low, Adele. Literally. The voice in my head was relentless.

Falling for Julian was one thing, but was it mutual? I can't shake the feeling that he's doing all this out of obligation. Because he has to.

My stomach churned at the thought that he just might be doing all this because he pities me. Julian Hawthorne is a cold man.

Clearly there's another motive, and I'm just a pawn in his game.

My eyes darted around, searching in the dark. The balcony doors were unlocked and a gentle breeze pushed against them, almost throwing them open.

My wheelchair sat on the other side of the bed.

Pain stabbed at my entire body and sent violent shock waves to my knee as I rolled to the other side. The back of my head throbbed and nausea rose in my throat.

I had hated the idea of a wheelchair, but I wobbled like a rotisserie chicken when I tried to walk on my own, and the pain was unbearable.

It's only temporary, Adele. You're not your mother.

I steeled myself and counted to three. Somehow I made it into the chair. I pressed a button and lurched forward.

Shit!

I tried again, this time wheeling slowly and noiseless toward the balcony doors. I reached up and pulled them open. The night breeze poured into the room.

Sitting on the balcony was peaceful, and for a moment, I closed my eyes and imagined I was free. Truly free.

In another life my father and brother were still alive, and I didn't have to give out myself in marriage to save our mother.

I tried to imagine what my brother would have been like as an adult.

Liam had a deep love for animals and nature. He wanted a cat for his 9th birthday, but Dad was severely allergic.

Mom promised him a dog on his next birthday.

He died a few weeks after that.

'There's blood on your hands, and no amount of penitence can wash it away' the voice taunted me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to lock it behind the small red door, but that wasn't going to change anything.

I know what I did. I can't run from it.

My father's face filtered into my mind. He was smiling and stretching out his arms to me. Then his skin melted away and he just stood there, burned flesh and all.

The pungent smell filled my lungs like it was yesterday.

I swallowed the tight knot in my throat.

“Please dad…forgive me. I didn't mean to do it–”

“Adele? Are you okay?”

My head snapped up and I wiped my eyes hurriedly.

Julian stood in front of me, looking down at me with worry.

I don't like that look. I'm done being weak in front of this man. I wish I could stand level with him right now.

He crouched in front of me.

“I'm fine. Just taking some air”

Julian cocked his head to the side. I fought the urge to run my fingers through his hair, tracing lines down to his strong jaw and rough stubble.

I wanted to pull him into me and feel his soft lips on mine. The thought made me drool.

“It's really cold out here.” Julian rubbed my arms.

“I can do that by myself, you know. I'm not paralyzed”

“Sorry. I just…sorry ” he drew back and turned his back to me.

I regretted it immediately. I wanted him to pick me up in his strong arms and shield me from the cold.

From Celeste. From everything.

“You're right. It's freezing. I'm going back in”

Julian turned to wheel me back in but I held up a hand.

“How do you think I got out here?” I snapped.

I'm not an invalid, and I won't be treated like one.

He muttered another apology, but a frown clouded his features.

“Want a cup of hot chocolate?” He offered.

Yes please. But I shook my head 'no' and wheeled back inside.

******

Celeste stared at the ceiling, drumming her fingers against her temples. Leo was covered up to his chin, sound asleep. His hair fell into his face.

A lone tear drop left a trail on Celeste's face.

“Soon, I won't need you anymore”

Julian's voice echoed in her mind.

She wondered if Adele told him anything. If she remembered anything.

Knowing Julian, she should be behind bars already. So there's only one answer. He doesn't know. At least not yet.

She wondered how long it would take Adele to remember. Fear crept up her spine. She didn't have much time.

Julian will come for her soon. He'll notice the missing flash drive. It's out of her hands now. Her “ 'anonymous tip' to the media was gaining traction.

She couldn't wait for the sun to rise. Julian is going to get what he deserves.

There was a time he would look at her and there'll be all these stars in his eyes. Oh how she loved him then.

Now he was spineless. A carpet for Adele to walk all over.

Adele. That brown eyed demon gold digger, sniffing around Leo's inheritance.

Soon she'll be pregnant, and Julian will have no use for Leo anymore. The thought made her chest feel hot and heavy. Celeste chewed her lips and blinked.

She didn't regret pushing her down the stairs. She regretted not pushing hard enough.

Celeste's heart hardened in determination. She's going to do whatever it takes to secure her son's legacy. Julian cannot toss them to the side.

He thinks he loves Leo, but that won't last long.

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. The call declined. She tried again. She had been blocked.

She sighed and paced the room, rummaging through her purse. A burner phone fell out. She picked it up and dialed the number again.

“What do you want, Celeste. I told you to stay away from me” the gruff voice on the other end sighed.

“Oh don't be snarky. I missed you. Also, I'd like to call in that favor now.”

“Whatever it is, I'm not interested”

Celeste tutted and shook her head.

“You'd like this one, trust me. And you owe me”

The voice on the other end cursed loudly. The sound of a drink being poured hung in the air.

“My debt has been repaid. We're through. I'm free”

A wry smile crossed Celeste's lips.

“No one's ever truly free, my dear friend. We just get breaks in between. You're going to do this for me.”

A heavy sigh.

“Fine. But after this, we're done. If you contact me again after this, I'll kill you. You hear me?”

Celeste giggled childishly and kicked her feet.

“I'm shaking in my boots. Now, what do you know about Julian Hawthorne?”