Broken x Affected

ETHAN'S POV

I sat quietly in the closet, knees pulled up to my chest, as memories of the time when my mom was still alive played in my head.

My Dad had died a few months after I was born, and she had remarried a man who had lost his wife to a disease. This man was left alone with three pups who became my step siblings.

When my Mum and I moved in with them, I was four. I couldn't remember much aside from the feeling that I was treated better then, and I really wish to go back to that moment. The moment the scent of my mom's cooking filled the house, and the warmth of her hug, was all I needed to be happy.

The calming feeling of her soft fur as her wolf body curled around me, wrapping me close like a gentle blanket against the cold.

"You're my strong little pup, and you will grow up to be a strong warrior, just as your father." Those were the only words I could remember, and still remember her whispering to me, maybe it's because they were words she repeatedly said to me, but they were so comforting.

Everything changed when things started going downhill for my stepdad. He lost his job in the palace, and it didn't take long before feeding us became a struggle.

My mom supported us until she died, and I was locked in and blamed for her death.

I was just a six years old pup.

The weight of being blamed for her death still felt heavy on my heart. I wondered what my life would be like if she were still here, if things would have turned out differently.

The 'what ifs?' swirled in my mind, and I felt a lump form in my throat as I struggled to hold back tears.

The memories on how she died was too painful to recall, so I forced my thoughts elsewhere, Alpha Ryan.

I thought about the Alpha, and how I won't be able to do as he had instructed.

I had totally forgotten to let my stepdad know I was asked to report back to the palace.

The Alpha's voice replayed in my mind;

"You're to report back to the palace first thing tomorrow morning."

I was really looking forward to it.

My stepdad never easily let me out of the closet once he had locked me in; it usually took about three days or more.

During those three days, I was fed only twice and sometimes three times that I sometimes thought of taking my own life.

ALPHA RYAN JIAN POV

I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk to the garden.

Standing under the moonlight, the cool night air brushing against my skin. I once again thought of him, my mate.

His face, was the kind that doesn’t lie, he was the only person I’d ever encountered whose expression wasn’t covered by a fake mask to gain favours.

Maybe that was what I wanted in my world of lies, a bit of honesty.

The plan was to have him move into the palace tonight, but his desperate pleas took me unaware.

I had to let him leave, even though my wolf fought strongly against it.

Does he believe I'm a monster just like the rest of them?

For the first time I didn't want to be seen as a monster.

"Hmph, why? Why does how he sees me matter so much." I muttered under my breath.

I was beginning to get restless at this point.

A part of me craved to have him around, but the other didn't. Having a mate wasn't part of the plan.

I was already a prize for the other Alphas, hunted in their bid of taking over everything I had conquered and earned for myself and my pack.

Having a mate will only be a loophole. One they could exploit if they couldn't reach me.

At least Ethan doesn't deserve that.  He doesn't even seem to understand.

Maybe the moon goddess did well by not giving him a wolf.

"I will just have to keep it a secret until he's strong enough to handle a rejection." I whispered to the night.

"I’ve been looking all over the palace for you,” my Beta Liam said, his tone sharp and breathy.

He was still dressed in his ceremonial red robe.

“Rogues attacked the Crimson Pack earlier tonight,” he continued, eyes blazing with worry. “There are rumors they’re coming for us next.”

I smirked, finally something fun to do.

I faced him, "They're bold, I'd give them that."

"We've dealt with worst." I said confidently.

"Double the security at the borders, let the warriors stay on high alert. This would be the last pack they live to attack."

“I’ll send out the orders immediately." He said. "I will also suggest we have a meeting with the elders by tomorrow."

"Okay, you should be in charge of that. Inform me of the time," I said, patting his back before I left.

Returning to my chamber, I found Lucy standing by the window, her silhouette outlined by the silver moonlight. She looked… desperate.

Her eyes locked onto mine as I entered, and she took a hesitant step forward. “Ryan,” she began softly, “I wanted to talk to you… alone.”

I narrowed my eyes, already sensing where this was heading. She had always been like this despite I had made it clear from the onset we won't go beyond the Alpha and Luna title.

She closed the distance, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, then looked down briefly before meeting my gaze again.

"I think it's time we take it to the next level. Let's give the pack an heir." She reached out and touched my chest.

I caught her wrist, my grip firm. "Lucy, we've been over this," I said, already tired at this point. "You have to leave."

Her eyes flashed with a mix of anger and desperation.

"I rejected my mate for you. Why can't you just accept me, as our parents wanted?" She spat.

"I already did that, and you never mentioned you had a mate before the whole arrangement was made."

She closed her mouth with her palm.

"I...I didn't say mate."

Another lie.

I took a deep breath, "I need to rest now. You should leave. Let's continue all this when the morning comes."

I turned away.

I heard her whisper, "This isn't over." Which was followed immediately by the bang from the door.

I let out a sigh of relief.