PRESENTHe’s walking away. He’s going to walk even further away from me. I can feel it. I can feel it with every breath I draw, and every time my heart skips a beat.Daniel is the one to walk away when it should have been me. I have no self-control. When did I change into this unbecoming woman that I never wanted to be?Do I even deserve Cass? When I’m doing this behind his back. . .Someone knocks on the door and the bell jiggles for a long thirty seconds, awakening me from my delirium. It has been more than an hour since Daniel collected his clothes and walked out of this apartment, but he’s everywhere.As I pick myself up from the sofa, exactly where Daniel left me in a hypnotic state, I take a look around the room, and everything seems to shout out loud at me. Our coffee table, our wooden chairs, our bean-bag, even that old blow-up bed that lies unforgotten in the corner.They are all shouting at the top of their lungs. “You are a cheater. You betrayed him. He doesn’t deserve thi
FOUR YEARS AGOI was crying as I ran inside our dorm room. Thank god, it was open and Carrie was there with someone. It was one of the guys on our floor with whom she flirted on a daily basis. I immediately stopped and put the loose strands of my hair back behind my ear, as I rubbed away the salty tears streaking unknown patterns on my face. The guy moved around the room as he shuffled on his feet when he saw me coming through the door and Carrie mirrored him. They exchanged concerned looks with each other as they stopped laughing.“What-what happened?” Carrie’s voice came in waves, like the rustling of the leaves on a late autumn day. "Did something happen, Ange?"“Nuh-nothing. Nothing that important unravelled to begin with.” I tried to keep myself from crying a new river all over again. “Just-just these rude guys on the campus. They-they tried to catcall me and stuff.” I thudded my ass on the sofa in the living room, getting rid of the satchel I was carrying all day around with me
FOUR YEARS AGOAs I walked along the hallway the following day, our eyes meet outside the first lecture hall. Cassiel looked like the perfect college guy with pretty blue eyes and a smile which looked a lot like the morning sun. He looked like someone whom I could fall for, and then he waved at me, which made his blue eyes seem even more bright and dreamy. We were both perfect strangers in the making.As our previous run-in started to take form in my faded memory, I felt rigid and I immediately stiffened when he came closer. Before he could catch up to me, I turned around and started to pace with long strides in a different direction than where my class was, initially dreading a very awkward situation.“Angelique, wait up!” His voice stopped me. "Angel!"“Yes?” I turned around, trying to appear nonchalant. My nerves were everywhere. "Did you call my name?"“Do you want to come to our party this weekend? My roommate is throwing one of his famous ragers at our apartment.” His warm smile
PRESENT“Two matcha coffees, please.” I close my eyes momentarily, reminiscing yesterday’s flow of events. "And can you put some extra cream on top?"“Ten dollars.” The girl at the coffee counter rolls her eyes at the 'extra cream comment,' which brings me back to the day I met Daniel. As I hand her the money on the counter, I can’t stop going back down the memory lane. My past flashes right in front of my eyes. The girl shuffles on her feet to prepare the coffee on the counter. "There you go."It’s the same coffee house where we met a couple of months ago. At that time he looked genuinely interested in knowing me. He still does want to figure me out. But, the way he acted earlier is a giant slap of reality on my face. We can never be anything more than acquaintances and, at the most, friends.Only if I knew it back then.***THREE MONTHS AGOMy mind raced with thoughts as I hastily took long strides towards the old Paul’s cafè down six blocks from the Main Street. Boy, I shouldn't ha
THREE MONTHS AGO“But I haven’t seen you around before—"My sentence was cut in the middle, as his phone started to ring noisily. He looked at it for a long minute and concentrated on the caller ID displayed on the phone’s screen. He picked it up after several rings."Hey, Cassiel. What’s wrong?” The guy who was not a serial killer immediately stilled. “What are you saying? What the fuck happened?”The guy was up from the seat in a few seconds, and he was pacing back and forth. “What do you mean they erased my whole album? What-what? What glitch? It erased it from the database too … it what? The computers? How is that even possible?”He took a long breath and took the seat opposite from me again, looking awfully beat. “So you’re saying it’s some kind of a malware attack? Can we retrieve it in time? That was some of the best music I’ve made in a while."He finally blew the long breath he had been holding for a while. “I can’t thank you enough, Cassiel. You’re a savior. Please keep me p
FOUR YEARS AGO“How does this black one look on me?” I showed off my hips to Carrie, then moved again to face the mirror, smoothing the wrinkles out from the body-hugging silk dress. “I forgot how my hips looked."Carrie was going through our shared dorm closet, and from her side of the closet threw a blue halter neck dress at my face. “I know. Try this on, miss prude. You have such a great body, but you’re always hiding them behind your boyfriend’s jeans and shirts. Get a grip girl.” She gave me an enthusiastic look while thumping her fist upwards in the air. “Get a grip."I put the flimsy rayon material against my chest and sized myself up and down. “Do you think I’ll look good in that?” I fluttered my eyes when I looked at her and thinned my lips. "Can I really pull this off?"“Well, someone is going to get that Cassiel guy. It better be you, Lee.” She smiled at me as she came closer. She took the dress out of my hands and put it over my head. “Go on, get ready. This dress is whack
PRESENT“Here’s your goddamned coffee.” I almost knock the tray of styrofoam cups on the table as I place it roughly on the wooden surface. I can hear the rigorous splashing of the hot coffee against the cups’ plastic caps. "This is what you wanted, didn't you?"The mouths of the cups are all covered up, but that thud on the table run implications of it spilling on Danny’s precious documents. “Call me when you don’t want to treat me like I’m your secretary. Or have the balls to act like a professional or an adult.”“You can’t leave just yet, we have to sit down and write songs for the single I’ve to drop in three months. I need to get it done ASAP.” He folds his arms over his chest like he has any say in all of this. "We have a lot of work to accomplish this month."“You must have thought about that before the little outburst you had earlier in the office this morning.” I snap at him, collecting my purse and shoving it under my armpit as I turn around to walk away. "I'm in no mood to
PRESENTTHREE MONTHS AGOI watched myself stumble as I felt dizzy, vodka and too many cosmopolitans finally acting on my toes, and I just couldn’t think straight. Jeff was cheering me on, and he and Carrie were close to pushing me on the stage to sing my favorite song, Moonlight.I was way too drunk to hesitate or revolt against it. Carrie was walking me by the waist to the little concrete stairs and Jeff gave me a playful shove as I took the last step upstage. I walked confidently on stage as I stumbled towards the front of the deserted microphone stand sitting in the middle of the platform. My slingback wedges thankfully gave me more balance than the pencil ones I usually wear for night outs with friends. How I did not fall face front into the concrete and break my nose so far was a mystery and a miracle.I coughed as I placed my lips closer to the mouthpiece of the microphone, stabilizing myself by putting two hands around it. “Hi everyone! I-I’m here-e-e to rock your world tonight