CHAPTER 1

Raquel's POV

Where do writers get their inspiration? This is the most common question I have been asked for years. I am Raquel Peterson, one of the bestselling authors of romance novels. I am not in a relationship with anyone so people are puzzled where I get my inspirations. I had my first book published when I was twenty and since then I have twelve more books published. I may have found what the readers love and I was able to create a fantasy that they all fall for. My books weren’t merely on paper but were made into movies and TV series.

I became rich because of it. I am not a millionaire or anything. I have my own definition of rich. I mean, I grew up with barely nothing so now that I have my own apartment, a car, buy my own clothes, signature shoes and bags. I have a stable career and I am able to live my life comfortably.  

I smiled at the announcement of my latest book as the press surrounded me. I hardly answer any questions from the press. I am a private person but I had a fallout with my last publisher and people wants to know how they’ll get the last book on my series. I had to hold a press conference as per my best friend who also happens to be my agent.

I don’t really like being on the spot light. I hated it. So I wear a disguise when I appear to the press. My pictures that are published on my books was me wearing a disguise. Contact lenses, wigs, different make up style, a more formal and mature outfit. I mean, I was twenty when I first published my books and I had to look like a professional then. And I am thankful that I made that decision. I love my private life. I am even using a screen name, Cassandra Ellis.

 “Since the court favored you against your lawsuit with the publication, does this mean that you won’t be expecting the final book on the series? Rumors are spreading that you are no longer writing the last book and the fans are quite frantic about it.” One of the reporters commented.

“I assure you all that the book is going to be published. The series has been completed and I just needed to do some editing and some revisions.” I replied.

“Ms. Ellis, so when can we expect the final book for the series?”

“Soon.” I replied vaguely.

“Since you don’t have a publication company who will be handling the distribution of your books? Is it true that you would just publish the stories online and there would be no more, hard copies?”

“Absolutely not. I am not going all digital. I am an old soul trapped in a young woman’s body. I love reading from an actual book and turning the book pages from one page to another. Stop listening to rumors. The book is coming out later this year. That I can assure everyone.”

“Are you going to work on a new series after this? Fans are still waiting for the continuation of your first book, are you finally going to work on it.”

“My first book is completed as far as I am concerned.”

“Not to the fans. It all kept everyone hanging. Did they meet again? Did Aliana and Winston finally get back in each other arms? What is Winston’s side of the story? Is he really a cold hearted man that just left without a good reason?”

“Let your imagination run wide and assume whatever ending you deem right. Personally that book for me is already finished. I can’t think of an alternate ending to it. It’s just over, some things are just better off not being said or for this matter written.” I explained firmly.

“All of your books are a perfect love story. The couples always end up together no matter what they face. They always survive the trials they face and it shows that love conquers all.”

“And what’s the question?”

“Where is the happy ending for Aliana and Winston?”

“It’s up to your imagination. I am no longer answering questions regarding my first book. It’s been six years since that book was published. It’s the first book I have written and I don’t want to ruin the way the picture has been painted and create an alternate story to it just to satisfy the fans.”

“People say that some writers use their own experience as an inspiration to write and create a masterpiece. What is your inspiration?”

“Fairytales. Everyday life. People around me. Movies. Books. Nature. Sky is the limit. Everything around me inspire me.” I answered like I always do.

“How can you write a romance novel when you don’t seem to have a relationship with anyone? You don’t seem to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?”

“My personal life is not a subject I am sharing here. The book will be out this year and as for the publication company, I have been getting a hefty proposal from several companies. I have been doing a lot of considerations and whichever company I chose can make the announcement that I have selected them or you can just find out when the final book of hidden desires series is released. Thank you.”

The reporters where still asking questions but my agent took over and told them that will just keep everyone posted regarding the release of the book.

“I still can’t believe that you still get defensive when asked about “Me and Him.” I mean I personally want to find out what happened to Winston.” My best friend, Claire stated.

“You and me both.” I replied laughing.

“Why can’t you write a sequel to it and title it ‘Her and Me’? I mean, it will definitely be another best seller. Tell the storyline from Winston’s perspective.”

“I just don’t have a storyline for it. I mean, I honestly don’t know how to defend what Winston did. He left and abandoned her when she needed him the most. That heartbreak and pain can’t just be okay when he shows up again.” I replied.

“Okay, whatever. You have a series of meetings next week with the publication companies who sent out the proposals.”

“Just choose your top three picks and I’ll talk to them.” I answered dismissively.

“We got more than ten proposal and other proposal are coming in.”

“Top five then. We only need one company Claire. Stop accepting proposals and focus on the top choices.” I pointed out.

“Okay, I’ll work on it. We are having drinks tonight. Do you want to join us?”

“I am swamped.” I lied.

“With what?” She looked at me in disbelief.

“I am working on my last book. It is not going to write itself, you know?” I explain.

“You mean to say that when you said that you are just doing some editing and revisions that was a lie? Have you even started writing the final book?”

“I love you Claire. I will be working on it. I promise. So try to make all the publications you’ve selected be available in a day. I don’t want to spend several days on the meetings.”

“I don’t know how you do it. How the hell do you write about having fun and night life so vividly in your books when you don’t have a nightlife? How can you write about sex, love, relationships when I don’t think you ever had a boyfriend?” She ranted.

“I use my imagination. Besides, I might have a secret life that you are just not aware of. I have to go. I need to run some errand before I get to my apartment.” I ended the discussion because I knew that it was going nowhere.

The truth was I just don’t like going to clubs or bars. I hate the nightlife. I used to love it but now I’d rather be in my apartment writing my fantasy. I try to stay away from the things that remind me of my past. I am Aliana, the girl in my first novel. My Winston in the story is Sacha Ellis. I have no idea where he is now. No one knew that it was my life story. I met Claire when I moved in to New York. She helped me get someone that can read my book and have it published. We’ve been best friends since then and when she started working as a talent agent I let her be my agent. She had no idea about my past and I rather keep it that way.

Every single detail about the book was true except for some minor changes. I just change the name and the way the characters looked. If he actually read the book, then he would know that I hated him. He shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. He was my biggest motivator that pushed me into becoming rich. I am twenty-six years old and I am successful and contended with my life. He would know that I was writing about us. He would know that he was the person I was referring to. Honestly, until this day I still wait for the day that he would come to me and explain why he left me. I dread for the day when he would beg me and ask for my forgiveness then I would just turn him down and make him see that he made the biggest mistake the day he abandoned me.

Of course that day never came. Perhaps, it was for the best. He was my inspiration. The love that I thought we had made me so good at creating a perfect love story. The pain that he caused me made me a stronger person. I used that pain to create an illusion of a perfect love that I was able to channel into stories that other people enjoys. I use the passion that we shared, the intimacy, the sex, the feelings, the emotions that we had. If he hadn’t left me, I don’t think that I would be the person that I am today.